21 Jump Street
From BillionQuotes
21 Jump Street, an American television show.
Off. Doug Penhall: They're gonna have fireworks, free hot dogs. Even Sprinkles the clown!
Off. Tom Hanson: Sprinkles? Really?
Off. Doug Penhall: You gotta turbocharge the hair or something, Hanson. You look like Richie Cunningham.
Off. Tom Hanson: This is Jump Street Chapel, right?
Off. Doug Penhall: Only if you're Catholic. Ioki here thinks this is a Buddhist temple. Me? I think it's a synagogue. You know, my mom's Jewish, which only means I get to celebrate both guilt and hell.
Off. Harry Truman Ioki: Yeah, you see, his father used to be a priest, so don't play bingo with this guy. He's a killer.
Off. Judy Hoffs: How many times have you seen this?
Off. Tom Hanson: 122 times, but I don't watch the whole tape. I watch 3.3 seconds. 3.3 seconds that slipped through my fingers. 3.3 seconds where I could've done a thousand different things, but I didn't move. Do you know how many things you can do in 3.3 seconds? You can take off your shoes, pop a beer and shoot someone in 3.3 seconds.
Off. Judy Hoffs: Come on, Hanson.
Off. Tom Hanson: You can hold your finger down on the remote control and pass 17 stations in 3.3 seconds. You can open a can of tuna fish, shuffle and bridge a deck of cards, or twist the tops off six bottles of ginger ale in 3.3 seconds.
Off. Judy Hoffs: Hanson, please!
Off. Tom Hanson: You can ring a doorbell 22 times, lock and unlock a deadbolt four times, or sing the entire alphabet in 3.3 seconds.
Off. Doug Penhall: This guy is the worst burglar I've ever seen. He's drunk.
Off. Tom Hanson: Hammered.
Off. Doug Penhall: Pickled.
Off. Tom Hanson: To the gills.
Off. Doug Penhall: Studs and leather, here I come. KKK - awesome band.
Off. Tom Hanson: Band?
Off. Doug Penhall: KKK - Klean Kut Kids. It's a band. It's a gang. It's a floorwax. You gotta keep up with the popular culture, Hanson.
Off. Tom Hanson: Fine. I see I'm going to have to put this into terms you can understand. That's my stepbrother Douglas. He's kinda lame, but it's not his fault. You kick his tail - he tells my stepdad - my stepdad kicks my tail. Then I'm going to have to come back here and kick your tail. So, why don't you leave him out of this and I'll just kick your tail right now?
