Aladdin

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Aladdin is a 1992 Disney animated film, which relates a version of the story of Aladdin and the magic lamp from The Book of One Thousand and One Nights.

Aladdin (1992)

• "Look at that, Abu! It's not every day you see a horse with two rear ends!" ~Aladdin
• "Just go jump off a balcony!" ~Jasmine
• "How dare you, ALL of you! Standing around, deciding MY future! I am NOT a prize to be won!" ~Jasmine
• "AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! Oi! Ten thousand years will give you such a crick in the neck!" ~Genie
• "Never fails. You get in the bath and there's a rub at the lamp!" ~Genie
• "Oh, Al. I'm gettin' kind of fond of you, kid. Not that I wanna start picking out curtains or anything..." ~Genie
• "Aladdin! You just won the heart of the princess! What are you going to do next? [Aladdin dosen't respond. Genie turns into prompter] Psst! You line is 'I'm going to free the Genie.' Anytime." ~Genie
• "Thank you for chosing Magic Carpet for all your travel needs! Don't stand till the rug has come to a complete stop. Thank you! Good-bye now! Good-bye! Thank you! Good-bye! WELL, AL! How about that, Mr. Doubting Mustafa?" ~Genie
• "I like it, muy macho! Now, still needs something. What does it say to me? It says mode of transportation. Excuse me, monkey boy! Aqui, over here! Here he is! And what better way to make your grand entrance on the streets of Agrabah, than riding your very own brand new camel! Watch out, they spit!" ~Genie
• "Say, you're a lot smaller than my last master. Either that or I'm gettin' bigger. Look at me from the side - do I look different to you?" ~Genie
• "Three wishes... and ixnay on wishing for more wishes! That's it! Three! Uno, dos, tres. No substitutions, exchanges or refunds!" ~Genie
• "I can't believe it, I'm losing to a rug!" ~Genie as Rodney Dangerfield
• "Rule number one: I can't kill anybody. Bleurk! [Slices own head off] So don't ask. [Sticks head back on] Rule number two: I can't make anybody fall in love. [Kisses Aladdin] You little punim there! Rule number three! [Lies flat on back then rises, transforming into hideous 'undead' creature with [[w:Peter Lorre|Peter Lorre voice] I can't bring people back from the dead. It's not a pretty sight [clutching at Aladdin] I DON'T LIKE DOING IT! [Transforms back to normal] Other than that, you got it."
• "In case of emergency, the exits are here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, anywhere! Keep your hands and arms inside the carpet. Weeee'rrrrrreee...outta here!" ~Genie
• "Well, I feel sheepish. [Turns into sheep] All right, you baa-a-ad boy, but no more freebies." ~Genie, realizing that Aladdin got him to get them out of the cave without actually wishing for it
• "It's all part'n'parcel of the whole genie gig - PHENOMENAL COSMIC POWERS!! - itty-bitty living space!" ~Genie
• "But, oh! to be free! Not to have to go 'Poof! What do you need? Poof! What do you need? Poof! What do you need?' To be my own master, such a thing would be greater than all the magic and all the treasures in all the world! But what am I talking about? Let's get real here. It's not gonna happen. Genie, wake up and smell the hummus." ~Genie
• "You're speechless, I see — a fine quality in a wife." ~Jafar
• "How many times do I have to kill you, boy?!" ~Jafar
• "You've heard of the golden rule, haven't you? Whoever has the gold makes the rules!" ~Jafar
• "Look at this! I'm so ticked off that I'm molting!" ~Iago
• "You are a worthless street rat. You were born a street-rat, you'll die a street-rat, and only your fleas will mourn you!" ~Prince Achmed
• "Come closer... closer... Too close!" ~Merchant
• "Combination hooka and coffee maker! also makes julienne fries! Will not break, will not break... It broke." ~Merchant
• Razoul: Stop, thief! I'll have your hands for a trophy, street rat!
  Aladdin: [to himself] All this for a loaf of bread?
• Aladdin: Morning, ladies.
  Woman 1: Getting into trouble a little early today, aren't we Aladdin?
  Aladdin: Trouble? No way. You're only in trouble if you get caught!
  Razoul: [grabbing Aladdin] GOTCHA!
  Aladdin: I'm in trouble!
• Guard: [Abu has] got a sword!
  Razoul: You idiots! We've all got swords!
• "I don't know where she gets it from. Her mother wasn't nearly so picky." ~Sultan
• Iago: (after Jafar's argument with Jasmine) So... how'd it go?
  Jafar: I think she took it... rather well.
• Iago: Grrrr. To think we gotta keep kissin' up to that chump, and his chump daughter, for the rest of our lives...
  Jafar: No, Iago! Only until she finds a chump husband, then she'll have us banished. Or beheaded!
  :Jafar/Iago: Ewwww...
  Iago: Oh, wait a minute, wait a minute, Jafar, what if you were the chump husband?
  Jafar: [menacingly] What!
• Genie: [as Jack Nicholson] All right, Sparky, here's the deal. If you wanna court the little lady, ya gotta be a straight shooter. Do ya got it?
  Aladdin: What?
  Genie: Tell. Her. The. TRUUUUUTH!
• Jafar: [hypnotizing Sultan] Desperate times call for desperate measures, my leige.
  Sultan: Yes... desperate measures...
  Jafar: You will order the princess to marry me.
  Sultan: I will order the princess to marry... but you're so old!
• Sultan: Jafar, you vile betrayer!
  Iago: That's Sultan Vile Betrayer to you!
• Aladdin: [to Jafar] Not so fast, Jafar. Aren't you forgeting something?!
  Jafar: Huh?
  Aladdin: You wanted to be a genie, you got it!
  Jafar: What?!
  Aladdin: And everything that goes with it.
  Jafar: [getting sucked into lamp] No! Nooo!
  Iago: I'm getting out of here!
  Aladdin: Phenominal cosmic powers!
  Jafar: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!
  Iago: Come on, you're a genie! I don't... [gets trapped in lamp with Jafar]
  Aladdin: Itty-bitty living space.
  Genie: Al? You little genius, you!
  Iago: This is all your fault!
  Jafar: No, this is all YOUR fault! Get your blasted beak off of my face!
  Iago: Oh, shut up!
  Jafar: Don't tell ME to shut up!!
  Genie: Ten thousand years in the Cave of Wonders outta chill him out! [flicks them into the distance]
• Razoul (to Aladdin): We just keep running into each other, don't we, street rat?
• Cave of Wonders: Who disturbs my slumber?
  Aladdin: Uh, it is I, Aladdin.
  Cave of Wonders: (growls) Proceed. Touch nothing but the lamp. (opens up)
  Jafar (disguised as an old man): And remember, boy, first, fetch me the lamp, and then you shall have your reward!
  Aladdin: Come on, Abu.

The Return of Jafar (1994)

• Aladdin: Genie!
  Jasmine: You came back!
  Genie: OOH! AHHH! WATCH THE SUNBURN! A-ha! Kidding!
• "WHAT DOES HE HAVE TO DO TO MAKE IT CLEAR TO YOU LUNKHEADS? THE SHOW'S OVER! THEY WANT TO BE ALONE! BREAK IT UP!" ~Iago
• "Does this mean I don't get my third wish?" ~Abis Mal
• "After all... there are things so much worse than death!" ~Jafar
• "The street rat is living in the palace now? That's it! All reports are in! Life is now officially unfair!" ~Iago
• "If it wasn't for me, you'd still be in a cage at the bazaar squawking 'Polly want a cracker'!" ~Jafar
• Abis Mal, the Chief of the Thieves: [to himself] That stinkin' Aladdin! First chance I get, I'll slice him in half!
  Thief: [to other thieves] That stinking Abis Mal! First chance we get, let's slice him in half!
• Iago: [smearing dirt all over himself] I'll just get Aladdin on my side with a little sympathy act. And I'll be back in the palace quicker than you can say "Easy Street." [Aladdin turns corner to find Iago panting for breath] Al... finally... got free... of... Jafar.
  Aladdin: Iago! What are you doing here?
  Iago: Where are you? Getting dark. Hold me... [Aladdin tries grabbing him] Hey, I meant gentle-like!
• Genie: [running up to Jasmine with Abu to catch Sultan & Aladdin] Make way for the picnic boys!
  Jasmine: Sorry, Genie. They already left.
  Genie: Without us? Don't worry, I'll catch up in a flash.
  Jasmine: No! Without me, too. Aladdin needs to spend some quiet time with father to patch things up.
  Genie: [to Abu] You know what this means, monkey boy? MORE FOOD FOR US!
• Jafar: (laughs sinisterly) Good help is so hard to find these days, isn't it, Aladdin?

Aladdin: The Series (1994)

• "Lady, I'm taking you out... and I don't mean dinner and a movie!!" ~Genie
• Mozenrath: You're just in time to witness the destruction of Agrabah!
  Aladdin: I think he needs a girlfriend or something.
  Iago: I think he's married to his work.

Aladdin and the King of Thieves (1996)

• "WHOA. I was having an out-of-movie experience." ~Genie, after briefly transforming into Pumbaa from The Lion King
• Genie: And you are...?
  Thor: I'm Thor.
  Genie: You're Thor?
  Thor: Well it hurts.
• Iago: Allow me to introduce...
  Cassim: The King of Thieves.
  Genie: [shrieks, then calls on a cell phone] All units, we have a Code Red!
• Genie: If you're Al's father and the King of Thieves, then I have just one thing to ask you.
  Cassim: Yeah?
  Genie: Will you be having the chicken or the sea bass?
• Genie: Al, are you getting cold feet?
• "I thought the earth wasn't supposed to move until the honeymoon." ~Genie
• Iago: Meet your match, Zorro!
  Cassim: Good birdie. Polly want a...
  Iago: Say "cracker" and I let you have it on principle!
• "Mama always said, 'Magic is as magic does.'"~ Genie as Tom Hanks in Forrest Gump
• "Geronimo! Arapaho! Navajo! Pocahontas!" ~Genie
• Aladdin: What's the ultimate treasure?
  Cassim: The big one, boy. The Hand of Midas.
  Aladdin: It's just a myth.
  Cassim: It's not a myth, boy! It was once right here. Look, there's your proof! From stern to stem, every piece of rigging, every peg and board, all of it... solid gold!
  Abu: Ooooh!
  Iago: Adopt me, daddy-o!
  Cassim: Touched by the Hand of Midas.
  Aladdin: And sunk by it.
• Thief: It is a good day to die.
  Sa'luk: Or to come back from the dead.
• "You're a good guy, Cassim. But not TOO good." ~Iago