Astonishing X-Men
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Astonishing X-Men is the name of an ongoing comic book series published by Marvel Comics and based on the X-Men franchise. There have been three X-Men titles to bear the name Astonishing X-Men.
Note: The quotes below use X-Men's pseudonyms, even when they refer to each other by real names, for consistency.
Spoiler warning: Plot, ending, or solution details follow.
Contents |
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Volume One (Age of Apocalypse)
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Volume Two (The Shattering)
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Volume Three (X-Men: ReLoad)
This volume deals with a rebuilt X-Mansion, headed by Emma Frost and newly appointed, by her, staff consisting of Shadowcat, Cyclops, Wolverine and Beast. It is written by Joss Whedon and illustrated by John Cassaday. The first issue was released on July 2004, and is currently contracted to continue until July 2006.
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Issue 1
- Emma Frost: This, children, is Kitty Pryde, who apparently feels the need to make a grand entrance.
- Shadowcat: I'm sorry. I was busy remembering to put on all my clothes.
- Emma Frost: So gushingly glad you could join us.
- Shadowcat: Sorry about the timing. Did I miss the sorting hat?
- Beast: Just Scott's scintillating speech.
- Cyclops: Even I was bored.
- Emma Frost: Superpowers, a scintillating wit and the best body money can buy...and I still rate below a corpse.
- [Danger room is reprogrammed to simulate Hawaii]
- Shadowcat: Remember when this place was just flame-throwers and rotating knives? I miss that.
- Wolverine: Time to make nice with the public, eh, Summers?
- Cyclops: We have to do more than that, Logan. We have to astonish them.
- [finding Emma and Scott in bed together soon after Jean's burial]
- Wolverine: So tell me... Which stage of grieving is this? Denial?
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Issue 2
- Beast: Maybe Scott and Logan could fight on the lawn again. The kids love that.
- Wolverine: I ain't up for anything that hasn't got the word "beer" in it.
- Beast: You could fight for beers.
- Wolverine: Well. Now that doesn't sound too bad.
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Issue 3
- Shadowcat: Mutants are a community. We're a people and there's no way anybody can make us be what they want. We stick together and don't panic or overreact...you'll see. We're stronger than this.
- Wing: Miss Pryde...are you a #&$%ing retard?
- Nick Fury: Somebody's gonna die. You know how I know this? 'Cause I'm gonna kill 'em.
- Student: So, what -- the teachers spend all their time here trying to kill each other? This place is so cool.
- Shadowcat: Are you gonna fight everyone, Logan? I just wanna know if I'm next.
- Wolverine: Nah, you'd go ninja on me -- I can't take that hurt.
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Issue 4
- Shadowcat: Wriggle like that next time and I'll lose my grip in the middle of a wall. You'll fuse molecules. As deaths go, it's not the funnest.
- Emma Frost: Jean Grey is a sacred cow. At least we agree on half of that.
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Issue 6
- Nick Fury: How do you know your Colossus is the genuine article in the first place?
- Emma Frost: I read his mind.
- Beast: I matched his DNA.
- Wolverine: I smelled him.
- Beast: I also did that.
- Abigail Brand: I'm special agent Abigail Brand. I head the Sentient Worlds Observation and Response Department. We work with S.H.I.E.L.D., handle matters extraterrestrial.
- Beast: The goverment and their acronyms...honestly, it's adorable.
- Abigail Brand: You people are in a world of trouble.
- Cyclops: Well, that's the world we're from.
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Issue 7
- Colossus: I am riding a monster's nostril. I really should concentrate.
- Colossus:(internal monologue during fightscene) Kitty's grown so much while I was... away. I know I feel the same for her as I once did, but does she? How can I expose her to the possibility of such pain?
- Kitty:(internal monologue during fightscene) I loved Colossus once. I would have given my life for him. Then he gave his for all of us. How do I feel about him now? Ah, this is so complicated!
- Wolverine:(internal monologue during fightscene) <long pause> I like beer.
- The Thing: We do big monsters. Big monsters in Manhattan, that's our signature piece.
- The Thing: Didn't they come up with a cure for your kind?
- Wolverine: You got a problem with mutants?
- The Thing: I meant Canadians.
- The Human Torch: Reed? Can we be evil now?
- Mister Fantastic: Maybe after dinner.
- Colossus: Who is the "Hilton" girl?
- Beast: It doesn't matter. On a lot of levels.
- Emma Frost: J. Jonah Jameson'll be tongue-kissing Spider-Man before the X-Men catch a little public favor.
- Shadowcat: Why do you insist on saying things I can never unhear?
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Issue 8
- Sentinel: I hear you lord. I come. Praise be to you.
- Unrecognized Voice in Emma Frost's Head: Summers? Really? I know you wanted to cement your standing in the group, but if the geek was sharing my bed...I think I'd try not to wake up.
- Sentinel: My lord is watching you. She knows what you're going to do. She tells me the children will pay for the father's sins. And I must not fear death.
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Issue 10
- Danger: [voiceover] Get your enemy talking. Classic. But I understand now why it works. The thing I have in common with every dimestore villain the X-Men ever faced. I want to be understood.
- Danger: [voiceover] I have made a 7% scenario-flow recalibration error. Their aggression is increased, their responses less coordinated but more effective. They're not in the danger room. They're in danger.
- Sydren: I ssensse...destruction.
- Abigail Brand: Really? You sure? You don't wanna look the photo of the enormous destruction some more before you make such a bold statement.
- Sydren: If I ate your head, two thirdsss of your agents would praise me in poems and sssong.
- Abigail Brand: So my approval rating's up.
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Issue 11
- Wolverine: Kids ain't dead, we ain't dead...Either the danger room was programmed to suck at its job, or we're missing something.
- Shadowcat: I'm sorry, okay? I came on strong but I was thrown, you came back from the dead and things were said, there were emotions but I'm totally over that now. I'm only about the work and you're feeling what, "crowded"? Well boo-hoo! Lives are at stake here, pal!
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Issue 12
- Colossus: I am to throw you?
- Shadowcat: I'm very light...
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