Aqua Teen Hunger Force

From BillionQuotes

(Redirected from Athf)
Jump to: navigation, search

Aqua Teen Hunger Force (December 2000 – present) is an animated television series from the Cartoon Network's Adult Swim programming block. The show follows the exploits of three anthropomorphic fast food items: Master Shake, the milkshake; Frylock, the carton of french fries; and Meatwad, the aptly named wad of meat.

Contents

[edit]

Season 1

[edit]

Rabbot [1.1]

Dr. Weird: Gentlemen! Vegetables have threatened man for generations. I have obtained funds to solve this vegetable nightmare.
Steve: Uh, Dr. Weird —
Dr. Weird: Behold!
Steve: I thought that grant was for somewhat to cure diseases, and ….
Dr. Weird: The grant? What is that?
Steve: Dyuhhh ….
Dr. Wierd: Shut up! Behold! The Rabbot! [The door lifts up and reveals Dr. Wierd's monstrous fifty-foot Rabbot]
Steve: But, Dr. Weird —
Dr. Weird: Now bring me my large French perfume and spray him in the eyes, because that's how it happened to me! [The Rabbot's face is sprayed with a giant bottle of French perfume] Now you feel pretty, don't you? Wa, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! [The Rabbot hops out the door and toward the lab wall] The Rabbot! My creation! [The Rabbot smashes through the lab wall and Steve jumps out from behind his hiding spot behind the desk.]
Dr. Weird: What has science doooooooone?
Frylock: I wonder who killed Carl's car ….
Master Shake: A car cannot be 'killed'! It was murdered! By someone who is jealous of Carl's ability to drive. Jealousy is the motivation!
[Meatwad was dancing, just before Master Shake jumps on Meatwad's jam-box and crushes it.]
Master Shake: Dancing is forbidden! Quick, it is mystery time, we have a case to solve! Aqua Teen Hunger Force assemble!
Master Shake: Shut your deformed mouth Meatwad, before I nail it shut!
Master Shake: How did you get back there? That's for salespersons only. I want to get back there. Get me back there!
[Meatwad changes shape into a bridge over the sales counter.]
Meatwad: Just take the meat bridge! It's right here!
Master Shake: Meat bridge? No.
[Master Shake smashes a hole in sales counter.]
Meatwad: Fine. Don't take the meat bridge.
Master Shake: Well, as long as we don't go back to the lab.
Frylock: I need to go back to the lab.
Master Shake: God! That'll take a thousand hours!
Carl: Look at my freaking car. It is crushed...to bajesus and back.
[edit]

Escape From Leprauchpolis [1.2]

Dr. Weird: It works! I am one can short of a six pack, wah-hah-hah-hah-hah!
Meatwad: [in the pool for the first time] Master Shake said it would dissolve me and then I would get clogged in the filter and then beavers would come and eat me. But that hadn't happened yet.
Meatwad: Look, I have a brain. I just took it out so it wouldn't get wet!
Frylock: Yeah man, he took his brain out. It's cool.
Carl: Alright, I'm gonna give this "rainbow" thing another five minutes, and if it don't show up quick, then I am going down to the store and getting a hot-rod magazine. 'Cause they got the chicks with the boobs in there.
Merle: Seems kinda stupid doing this whole thing for shoes.
Flargan: It's not just for shoes! It's … it's for ….
Merle: It's for what? This Bananarama tape with no case? We really scored big on that one, didn't we buddy?
Meatwad: He told me to get in the freezer cause there was a carnival in there. There wasn't no carnival! It was a damn freezer! I got freezer burn and I got brushed up against that chicken.
Master Shake: Let's go. They don't have nothin, it's like a flea market threw up in there.
Meatwad: Look, a Bananarama tape!
Master Shake: That's mine! Drop it where you are!
Meatwad: You don't need a machine to make a rainbow, for rainbows are made of happy thoughts, and dreams, and chocolate unicorns, and gumdrops, and licorice sunsets, and fuzzy gumdrop bears, in sugar-covered chocolate gumdrop land.
Meatwad: All right! The real rainbow! I did it! I brought happiness and joy to us all!
[A rainbow rips Carl's house off its foundation and flings it through the air.]
Master Shake: Wow!
Carl: Oooooooh, good!
Meatwad: Well, I gotta go…See ya later…
[edit]

Bus of the Undead [1.3]

Master Shake: Get the door, Meatwad. It's Dracula.
Carl: Look, all I know is that this cord here was plugged into my house, and your house was glowin' like the frickin' sun! So I put two and two together there hey, and decided that you're pissin' me off.
Master Shake: We are truly sorry Carl, and it will probably never happen again. Can we have our cord back?
Carl: No, no there. I'm just gonna keep it there, since it's uh, mine anyways.
Master Shake: What do you want from me?
Mothmonsterman: I want the light turned back on.
Master Shake: I don't have the blood you crave!
Mothmonsterman: I just laid a thousand of my eggs inside his esophagus. You know, I need to propagate my species and, he's being a baby about it.
[edit]

Mayhem of the Mooninites [1.4]

Ignignokt: You and your third dimension.
Frylock: What about it?
Ignignokt: Oh, nothing; it's cute. We have five.
Err: Th-thousand.
Ignignokt: Yes, five thousand.
Err: Don't question it!
Frylock: Well I only see two.
Ignignokt: That sounds like a personal problem to me.
Ignignokt: Using a key to gouge expletives on another's vehicle is a sign of trust, and friendship.
Carl: Maybe you'd be a good person to ask who wrote "Da Moon Rulz #1" on my car with a key.
Ignignokt: If you have a problem with that, maybe you should take it up with Mister Laser.
[Ignignokt gives Frylock the finger from his spaceship.]
Ignignokt: I hope he can see this because I'm doing it as hard as I can.
Ignignokt: Hello, Carl, I am Ignignokt and this is Err.
Err: I am Err.
Ignignokt: We are Mooninites from the inner core of the moon.
Err: You said it right
Ignignokt: Our race is hundreds of years beyond yours.
Err: Man, you hear what he's saying?
Ignignokt: Some would say that the Earth is our moon.
Err: We're the moon.
Ignignokt: But that would belittle the name of our moon, which is: The Moon.
Err: Point is: we're at the center, not you.
Carl: No, the real point is: I don't give a damn.
[edit]

Balloonenstein [1.5]

Frylock: Ooh. Damn! What dimension was that? Carl, your hands!
Carl: Yeah, I know, I see 'em: they're very big. Well, it was fun. I'm gonna go take a nap now and then I think I'm gonna call some hospitals.
Meatwad: Obviously you did not read my memo.
Shake: This is your memo? I don't even know what this is!
Meatwad: You sicken me with your lies.
Meatwad: And bring back some chocolate syrup, or your fate is sealed.
Meatwad: Everybody hates me 'cause they die or get hurt.
Master Shake: Will this hurt 'im [Meatwad]?
Frylock: It shouldn't.
Master Shake: Then why are we doing it?
Frylock: Dammit Shake, if Meatwad doesn't have his brain he's just gonna sit there in the ocean saying "Do what now?"!
Meatwad: Do what now?
[edit]

Space Conflict from Beyond Pluto [1.6]

Oglethorpe: What do you know of fire? You prance around like you have laser eyes. You don't!
Oglethorpe: I have an amazing plan to betray our new friend … hah-hah-hah!
Emory: I thought the plan was to barbecue with him.
Oglethorpe: Plans are for fools! When he gets here, we melt him … and laugh on … into the night!
Oglethorpe: Now do you see how my mind works? It's like a laser!
Oglethorpe: We are on a top secret mission of world domination!
Frylock: World domination? You guys couldn't take over a damn bowl of Jello.
Emory: Hey, is this Jello, like, an important place or something?
Oglethorpe: Where is it?
Master Shake: Look, that beam came from space. You don't own space, so stop acting like you do!
Oglethorpe: You might be interested to know that we are just about to destroy your planet!
Master Shake: Oh, go ahead, I'm not there, ah, it's fine.
Frylock: You cannot cut someone's lawn with matches, Meatwad!
Meatwad: Look, I know that. You gotta have gasoline, otherwise how's it gonna spread to the street?
Carl: (banging on the Aqua Teen's door) Open this damn door now!
Meatwad: Oh, is he mad? Don't open it.
Carl: I heard that!
Carl: I gave Shake $20 to cut my lawn.
[edit]

Ol' Drippy [1.7]

Master Shake: Oh yeah, he's nice now, but don't come looking for me when he's burying your bodies out in the desert.
Ol' Drippy: Close your eyes, Meatwad.
Master Shake: Leave your eyes open, Meatwad. I want to horrify you into a coma.
Meatwad: This here's Vanessa. I know she looks like an apple, but she's actually a full-grown woman, and she fell in love with her boyfriend, Dewy, here, and they go off into outer space and then they get married.
Ol' Drippy: Idle hands spend time at the genitals, and you know how much God hates that.
[edit]

Revenge of the Mooninites [1.8]

Ignignokt: But Fry-man, we are full of religion now. Everyone, bow your heads and pretend to be serious.
Err: Do it, or I'll bow 'em for ya!
Ignignokt: The innocent shall suffer … big time.
Ignignokt: We forgot all about your needs, we were too busy fulfilling our own.
Ignignokt: Your neighbor Carl was gracious enough to let us rip him off and burn his furniture for no reason.
Ignignokt: This pornography is infinitely excellent. The dresser, however, is boring.
Meatwad: But that's where Carl keeps his clothes!
Ignignokt: These girls don't have any clothes, and they don't seem to mind.
Err: Yeah, they're kissing each other!
Ignignokt: And you want Carl to be forever kissed, don't you?
Ignignokt: Carl! You're striped with radiation!
Err: (singing) Domo arigatou--
Carl: Shut up about that and you give me that belt right now!
Err: Well try and take it from me, if you think you're man enough! [Carl takes the Foreigner belt from Err] Hey, man! He took my belt!
Ignignokt: Try using the belt without these ... the instructions!
Err: Yeah, let's see ya try!
Carl: I don't need no instructions to know how to rock!
[edit]

MC Pee Pants [1.9]

Frylock: You're all the things that are in this ad: you're energetic, hard-working, you like people —
MC Pee Pants: No, I love the liquid inside people. How many times I gotta tell you this, man? I'm insane! I eat people-juice. No one's gonna hire a people-juice eater!
[edit]

Season 2

[edit]

Dumber Dolls [2.1]

Master Shake: No, Frylock. The Highlander was a documentary, and its events happened in real time.
Happy Time Harry: No, I don't come with a firearm, but I got these: Action Bills!
Meatwad: I thought you were supposed to dance.
Happy Time Harry: Nah man, I gotta be totally ripped to do that.
[edit]

Bad Replicant [2.2]

[Dr. Weird is hanging upside-down.]
Dr. Weird: Gentlemen! Chop off my head with such velocity that my blood will rocket through my neck, and propel my lifeless body, all the way to Phoenix!
Steve: Wow. Uh, what's in Phoenix?
Dr. Weird: Why, it's your mama, Steve! Get the ax!
Master Shake: Look at him and tell me there's a God.
Meatwad: He made me in His own image.
Master Shake: Oh, yeah, God's a big meatball, I forgot. Ah, ha, ha, ha, ha.
Meatwad: He is.
Master Shake: Does he stink like you do?
Meatwad: Yeah, that's right. And he ain't my best friend, neither. He yells at me and scares me and locks me in the attic, and pours liquid on my head that stink, and freeze me with the fire extinguisher, and a whole bunch of other stuff I can't remember 'cause he shocked me in the head with a car battery. [pause] With a bunch of clamps, and sparks, and ….
Frylock: Oh, you're ki — Meatwad, it's not polite to stare.
Meatwad: But, look at him.
Major Shake: No, it's okay, I know. I'm totally, hideous.
Meatwad: No i-it's cool, I was just wondering if that jam-box worked, you know. Shake threw mine in a cobra cage, and dared me to go get it, and that's why I'm all puffy back here.
Ogelthorpe: Oh, well son of a … imprison him within the rings!
[Disco light rings come down around Shake.]
Oglethorpe: You'll never move from that spot again, unless you like being cut in half!
[The phone rings. Shake reaches through the rings to answer it.]
Master Shake: Yelloo?
Oglethorpe: The laser rings!
Master Shake: Look, brother, these ain't nothin but disco lights.
Emory: No, the installer said that they were imprison laser rings, and I, I believed him.
Oglethorpe: Don't listen to him, for he is a witch!
Frylock: So, did they, um … ever find your car?
Carl: Oh, they found part of it, you know, hang'n from a tressle near the turnpike. Yeah the cops said he had a … a "straw-like protrusion" and a "cup-like body." You know anybody like 'at?
Frylock: Uh, well, it wasn't Shake, Carl. He was abducted by aliens earlier this afternoon.
Carl: Oh, I knew that. Yeah, of course.
Frylock: He was … seriously.
Carl: I hate you!
Emory: So, what are we gonna do with the prisoner?
Oglethorpe: We shall ask the mighty Orbnauticus.
[A disco ball comes down from the ceiling.]
Oglethorpe: Orbnauticus, we seek wisdom. To what evil purpose shall we put our slave to use?
[edit]

Circus [2.3]

[edit]

Love Mummy [2.4]

Shake: Do you know what time it is, huh? It's 2:30 in the afternoon, people are tryin' to sleep!
Mummy: LUNCH! LUNCH!
Carl: I see that you found the Mummy there.
Frylock: You knew about this, Carl?
Carl: Oh yeah, yeah. I mean, You think you're weird? I mean, the guys before you… I don't care what you do behind closed doors, you know? But once you start puttin' mummies in the yard where I can see 'em, it becomes my business.
Mummy: HUNGRY! LUNCH!
Carl: They don't die neither. You're in it for the long haul, there. Why did you think why your rent was so low there, genius?
Frylock: Shut up and eat your cheese sandwich!
Shake: I do what I want, when I want, and how I wanna! And no mummy - you hear me, Band-Aid - ain't gonna tell me what to do!
Mummy: (the room darkens and energy spirals about) Currrrrrrse... Currrrrrrrrrse! CURRRRRRRRRRRSE!!! (falls over, motionless)
Shake: You done? Cuz I'm through liste--
Mummy: (curse restarts) CURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRSE!!!
Frylock: Wow! Your eyes didn't even blister over!
Shake: Get your hands off me, brother! You've been touching that mummy! You know, I saw you hugging him in the basement.
Frylock: I wasn't hugging him!
Shake: Go hang out with your dead, mummified lover!
Frylock: I…I…I gotta go to my room now.
Shake: Mummy lover!
Meatwad: Why does he get the lobster?
Frylock: It's because he's the mummy, dammit!
[edit]

Dumber Days [2.5]

[edit]

Interfection [2.6]

Master Shake: Plaque is a figment of the liberal media and the dental industry to scare you into buying useless appliances and pastes. Now, I've read the arguments on both sides, and I haven't found any evidence yet to support the need to brush your teeth. Ever.
Meatwad: I don't know how you'd know; you ain't got no teeth.
Master Shake: Well I got rid of my teeth at a young age, because I'm straight. Teeth are for gay people. That's why fairies come and get 'em.
Meatwad: If teeth make me gay then sign me up, 'cause I wish I had 'em.
Master Shake: Well, I'm sorry, but if you can't learn that little lesson, then someone's going to get their little mouth stabbed shut with skewers! And then we'll see how easily the axe slices through the meat!
[Meatwad's eyes get big, then he starts bawling.]
Master Shake: Alright, OK. Maybe that was a little huge. Listen, I would never hit you with an axe.
[Meatwad's sobs subside as he pauses for a second and looks up at Shake.]
Master Shake: … When you had skewers stabbed through your mouth.
[Meatwad immediately resumes crying.]
Master Shake: I would think one or the other would be enough!
Meatwad: Alright! Five point nine percent over APR! You don't get that every day.
Master Shake: Are you kidding? With APR like that I could just die!
Wwwyzzerdd: It's so easy to use, and the surgery to implant it in the base of your skull is so painless, it's no wonder I'm #1!
Wwwyzzerdd: And after this 90-day trial, you will be judged and sentenced to a lifetime of interactive sports, news, and information. And we will continue to draw from your account, because banks don't care. It's not their money.
Shake: Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize this was the Supreme frickin' Court here!
Meatwad: Neither did I.
Shake: Should I have my lawyer present for my frickin' trial?!
Meatwad: Yeah.
[edit]

PDA [2.7]

Shake: Wha, oh come on! We're lookin' for my thing, together, we're like buds, it's cool. Hey, you fly. You go, why don't you go check the gutters.
Frylock: But, why would it be up in the gutters, Shake?
Shake: That's where your DVD burner ended up, when it decided not to work.
Frylock: Oh, I damn sure better not find that up there!
Master Shake: Well, that's the last place I remember chucking it.
[Frylock flys up over the roof while Shake stays in Carl's pool.]
Frylock: [yelling] Hey! You did throw my DVD burner up here!
Meatwad: Tar, well, I tell ya if I wanna smell like a shingle, I go get my frisbee and my tanktop and my Captain EO out of the gutter.
[edit]

Mail Order Bride [2.8]

Carl: Oh, man. I cannot wait. I got the oils, the candles, the works! When does that babe get here?
Master Shake: Carl, don't refer to her as a "babe", please. She is a Chechnyan prostitute, and you will address her as such.
Carl: Look, just don't cash that check immediately. I wanna make sure that both of us marryin' her is gonna be, you know, legal.
Master Shake: Of course it is! What are you kidding me? Santa Claus ain't legal and he's around.
Carl: Well, I guess that makes sense, you know.
Master Shake: Of couse it makes sense! Look, Carl, you just go home, wash your face and your feet, shave your shoulders, and you come on over to my house tonight. She'll be cookin' for me!
Carl: Oh, no buddy! The only cookin' she's doin' tonight—
Master Shake: All right, stop where you are! I know what you're gonna say. You're gonna make some lewd reference to cooking being like sex!
Carl: But you and I know, that she will be sizzlin' like fajita meat! Yeah! [smells his armpits] Oh! Oh, boy, that's rotten. Better take another shower before the dirtiness!
Master Shake: Yeah, why don't you take about five more, and while you're at it, try and find a shirt with sleeves if you got one Romeo. We're walkin' down that aisle!
Carl: Yeah! Tonight!
[Carl has broken his neck.]
Carl: Hey, get back here! I think I need some help here!
Master Shake: Yeah, I know you do.
[Shake walks away.]
Carl: You get back here!
[edit]

Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past from the Future [2.9]

Cybernetic Ghost: And that is where babies come from … for machines.
Meatwad: Really, because that's not what I heard about when a man and a woman love each other —
Cybernetic Ghost: No! That is very wrong! You cling to your fable of fluid exchange.
Carl: (after finding his swimming pool filled with blood) It looks like someone wrang a herd of cows through a juicer or something!
Master Shake: I hate to be a buzz kill, but he said that your house is on elf graves and they're pissed off.
Carl: All right, fine, we'll do that.
Meatwad: And the blood's just going to keep flowing, unless ….
Cybernetic Ghost: Unless Carl pays tribute to the Elfin Elders in space.
Carl: I'll do it. What do I do?
Cybernetic Ghost: You must give of yourself to the Great Red Ape.
Carl: Okay … how much?
Cybernetic Ghost: Sexually.
Carl: … wonderful.
Carl: What's your name again?
Glen Danzig: Danzig, motherf***er! I got a question, can you make the blood flow up the walls?
Cybernetic Ghost: I don't see why not.
Carl: That's elf blood, too. That ain't cheap--
Glen Danzig: How much you want?
Carl: Oh, I dunno … a million?
Glen Danzig: Killer. Draft the check tomorrow
Carl: You're serio--thank you god!
Glen Danzig: Now look, you listen to me as hard as you f***ing can. That f***ing robot came with the f***ing house, and now he's f***ing gone! If I find out he was over here--
Master Shake: Oh, don't worry, we'll tell you!
Glen Danzig: You better. If I find out he's over here, I'm gonna be eating my cereal out of your hollowed out skull! Verstehen Sie?
Master Shake: You make our house bleed right now!
[edit]

Season 3

[edit]

Super Birthday Snake [3.1]

Meatwad: Frylock, please. That was a computer simulation program. And it proved to me that you don't know what I like and what I like to do. And that is to tell you what to do. And you need to listen to what I say 'cause I'm gonna eat your brains!
Meatwad: You killed us! I told you not to do it and you did it … anyways.
Frylock: No, I didn't!
Master Shake: Yes, you did.
Carl: Yeah, I can't pretend to know what you're going through right now, but … you let go, okay. Thank you. If you need anything, you know who to look to: Someone else.
Frylock: If only we wouldn't have gotten him that pet.
Carl: Don't beat yourself up over it. There's nothing you could do about this. I mean, it kinda was your fault but hey, screw it. They're dead and you're not.
[edit]

Super Hero [3.2]

[edit]

Super Bowl [3.3]

Meatwad: Yep, Super Bowls are fun. We got braggin' rights this year. Number One.
Shake: Who?
Meatwad: Number One.
Shake: Who's Number One?
Meatwad: I don't know.
Shake: You don't know...because you went to a fucking farm, you fucking imbecile! (exit Meatwad) Get back here! You cost me my one chance! I got fuckin' diabetes and cancer because of you!
[edit]

Super Computer [3.4]

Frylock: [Shake and Meatwad are strapped to chairs] Gentlemen, the OoGhiJ MiqtxxXa!
Master Shake: Frylock, come on, are you really gonna call it that?
Frylock: Well, yeah. I mean, that's the Klingon word for superior galactic intelligence, and that's what this is.
Master Shake:Superior galactic grandma after eating a block of cheese, smoking three packs of cigarettes, and drinkin' a quart of milk. Disgusting, that's the word.
Frylock: Well, I invented it, and I can call it what I want!
Master Shake: No, hey, that's fine. Hey, good luck with the casual sex. I mean it. No. Because you won't get it. Not with that name. Anyway, go on, I'm sorry to interrupt.
Frylock: [Sighs] Meatwad, what do you think?
Meatwad: My butt itches.
Frylock: All right, all right, fine! What should I call it then?
Master Shake: Bad-Ass Motha'!
Meatwad: No, Snoopy! Or Schroeder! One of them two.
Master Shake: No! The Bad-Ass Motha' 4000!
Meatwad: The Red Baron!
Master Shake: Goes twice as fast as your ass!
Err: [Err and Ignigknot walk into view] "A" is for apple, "J" is for jacks.
Ignignokt: [noticing the OoGhiJ MiQtxxXa] Look Err, free egg.
Err: [jumps atop the computer] Damn, yeah! For straight, for shizzum!
Ignignokt: [looks to the screen] Try having omelettes now, Denver!
Err: Omeletoids!
Ignignokt: Did you hear what I said, Denver? [raising both middle fingers to the screen]
Ignignokt: Or shall I turn it up for you?
[edit]

Super Model [3.5]

Meatwad: [to a convalescent Shake] Whoa, little piggy, slow down there, boy! If there's one thing I can't stand, it's a fatty. That's you. If I was you, I wouldn't eat anything at all … unless you get rid of it.
Shake: How?
Meatwad: Well, I ain't talkin' about digestion. I'm talking about [mimes sticking his finger down his throat]
Frylock: Meatwad, no!
[edit]

Super Spore [3.6]

Meatwad: Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey y'all know what would be fun? If I get in that pool.
Frylock: And how long has it been since lunch?
Meatwad: Well … six seconds.
Frylock: And I just saw you eat forty hotdogs, didn't I?
Meatwad: Forty? No … forty-eight.
Frylock: You have to wait twenty minutes, Meatwad.
Master Shake: Why don't we let him in now and we'll watch him cramp up and get sucked into the filter and jam it all up.
Frylock: Shake, shut the hell up.
[edit]

Super Sir Loin [3.7]

[edit]

Super Squatter [3.8]

[edit]

The Meat Zone [3.9]

Master Shake: I've got something, there's science behind this, and legend.
[edit]

Super Trivia [3.10]

[edit]

Universal Remonster [3.11]

[edit]

Total Re-Carl [3.12]

[Frylock has put Carl's head on a robotic body.]
Frylock: I give you the ultimate in military hardware! Complete with laser cannon, indestructible titanium exoskeleton, and motion activated plasma pulse rifles.
Master Shake: And you're gonna plug him in‽
Frylock: You're right. Damn, what the hell was I thinking?
Meatwad: Fudge!
Frylock: That's not an F-bomb.
Meatwad: Fudge you!
Master Shake: We don't need a toilet. The pile of clothes in the hallway has worked fine for us for years, and it will continue to work.
Meatwad: I don't know whose clothes that is, but, someone ain't wearin' that again, I tell you that.
Frylock: Carl, did you lose somethin' behind the couch?
Carl: Yeah, I did! I lost peace and quiet! What do you need‽ What do you want‽ Can I not just live here without having to occasionally deal with you animals‽
Frylock: Well, yeah, it's your house.
Carl: That's right it is.
Frylock: And look what I just added to it!
Carl: (Frylock opens Carl's door to reveal his 'super-toilet' out in the front yard) Oh, nice. A crapper!
[edit]

Revenge of the Trees [3.13]

Frylock: Look what do you call it when he...when he wants to get out of this?
Old Tree: Oh that's the sweet release of death...yeah...EVISCERATION BY A THOUSAND BRANCHES OF A MIGHTY OAK!!!
[edit]

Spirit Journey Formation Anniversary [3.14]

Master Shake: You can't have birth without death. It's the duplicitous edge which we all walk upon.
Master Shake: You know how many birthdays there are a year? There are hundreds. Literally … hundreds.
Zakk Wylde: Is Milkshake here? The beating I'm about to inflict upon him is going to be indescribable.
Meatwad: He's in the back.
[edit]

The Shaving [3.15]

Willie Nelson: I don't want any trouble, I don't think violence solves anything.
Master Shake: God, you're gay! You don't think violence solves anything‽ What kind of monster are you, anyway‽
Master Shake: You are the gayest monster since gay came to Gaytown!
Master Shake: Great, look who just ruined Halloween…You know your like the A-bomb, everyone's laughing having a good time and you show up BOOM! Everything's dead!
[edit]

The Broodwich [3.16]

The Voice: It is the Broodwich. Forged in darkness from wheat harvested in hell's half-acre. Baked by Beelzebub. Slathered with mayonnaise beaten from the evil eggs of dark chickens force-fed to dogs by the hands of a one-eyed madman. Cheese boiled from the rancid teat of fanged cow. And layered with 666 separate meats from an animal, which has maggots for blood.
Master Shake: I tasted mustard.
The Voice: Yea, Dijon mustard.
Master Shake: How come no bacon?
The Voice: Bacon is extra!
Master Shake: You call this a sandwich? You don't have bacon on it!
The Voice: There are no swine evil enough to be sacrificed upon a bed of evil! … And lettuce. Bed of evil and lettuce!
Frylock: Wow, so you're saying it was fun?
Meatwad: Hell no! That son of a bitch had an axe!
[edit]

Kidney Car [3.17]

Frylock: Oh, well, I mean, you did call the police, right?
Carl: Heh, heh, yeah, good one. Oh, I never thought of that. No they, they stopped takin' my calls like, long ago.
[edit]

The Cubing [3.18]

Meatwad: This one time I rent me a pressure washer, start my own business called "Meatwad Pressure Washing." But then I's told, "You got to have a license for that." I said, "License? I ain't even s'posed to be in this country!" And then he got all mad.
[edit]

Frat Aliens [3.19]

[edit]

The Clowning [3.20]

Frylock: Carl, let her go! You're highly infected! Carl I'm afraid … you've been clowned!
Carl: Yeah, I thought my flip flops felt a little tight.
[edit]

The Dressing [3.21]

Meatwad: Well we're not American, yet, until we pass that test. That test's a bitch.
[edit]

The The [3.22]

Shake: Look, when you go in there. You need to watch where you step.
Frylock: And why's that?
Meatwad steps on a landmine
Meatwad: DAMN!!!!
Shake:...That is part of the reason, now let's just go in and remember what I said.
Err: We get checks from the government, AND WE SPEND IT ON BEER!!!! MEXICAN BEER!!!
[edit]

The Cloning [3.23]

TV Puppet: This is your left, that's your left. This is your left, that's your left! This is your right, that's your right. This is your right, you're gonna die!
Meatwad: This is some good TV. Hey, wake up. You're missing some good TV.
Master Shake: [wakes up] Change it.
Meatwad: I ain't changing this. This is the best.
[Master Shake takes out a crossbow with a flaming arrow.]
Master Shake: Change it.
Meatwad: To what? Come on, this is good.
Master Shake: Why don't we let the arrow decide?
Meatwad: No don't do —
[Master Shake releases the arrow destroys the TV.]
Meatwad: Uhhh! Come on!
Master Shake: And now it's changed. The Changeling.
Frylock: What was that?
Master Shake: What do you think it was?
Meatwad: It was you, boy.
[Master Shake walks over to the closet and opens it.]
Master Shake: What the‽ This closet was full of TVs the last time I checked and now there's none!
Meatwad: Cause you keep breaking them.
Shake: Cause you keep pissing me off so bad! You should be lucky I'm thoughtful enough to throw the anger at the media … and not your buttocks!
[edit]

The Last One [3.24]

Ignignokt: When I say your dumb name, please stand up briefly, but then quickly drop to your knees and forsake all others before me.
Ignignokt: And everyone under stands how this will come about? Remember, there are no dumb questions.
Moth monster man: Ummm, yeah, right here ….
Ignignokt: Yes, the retard with the dumb question?
[edit]

Season 4

[edit]

Video Ouija [4.1]

Emory: Ya … you know, we have time. Do you really need us to go to warp speed?
Oglethorpe: Yes, I want everyone to know. I'm fast and I will tear ass all over their galaxy, and totally trench their galaxy.
Frylock: Hey, Carl!
Carl: Can I show you something real quick? It, uh, starts here, where I used to have a full tank of gas.
Frylock: Uh huh?
Carl: And, uh…hey, what's bubbling in the pool?
Frylock: Oh my God! What are those, piranhas?
Carl: Oh, yeah. I mean, Shake is in there, too. You can't see him cause he's in the piranhas. But, you know —
Frylock: What?! Shake!
Carl: No, no, no, Fryman! Back off. Them fish are still alive. They're just sort of, you know, tired, from all them sleeping pills Shake swallowed. Hey, did he wanna kill himself?
Carl: Fryman, I am so sorry … that I can't press charges here.
Frylock: Well, could Billywitchdoctor.com maybe raise something else from the dead, bigger than a chicken?
Billywitchdoctor.com: Mega-ultra chicken? No, shhh, he is legend!
Frylock: Well no I mean I was thinking more like a human … milk-shake … or something like that.
Billywitchdoctor.com: Oh. Billywitchdoctor.com feel … more comfortable with chicken.
Frylock: Just chickens, huh? Okay, and you're local.
Billywitchdoctor.com: One convenient locations … in Africa.
[edit]

Unremarkable Voyage [4.2]

[Frylock has put Shake and Meatwad to sleep by explaining his latest invention.]
Frylock: Shake … Meatwad? Hey! Shrink ray!
Meatwad: You got shrink-shrink ray?
Master Shake: We had to go through all that crap just so you could show us the shrink ray? Now what you're saying is interesting!
[edit]

Mooninites 3: Remooned [4.3]

Video Game: The Gorgotron's in love … shoot him in the head!
[edit]

Gee Whiz [4.4]

George Lowe: Looks like someone's about to get an "A". By following the rules, you're guaranteed to make a mediocre product that no one can relate to.
[edit]

E-Dork [4.5]

Meatwad: Why don't you just go to the hose, drink you some water? Like the dog you are.
Master Shake: I'm not turning on some analog faucet to drink some barabric water. The mouth is a primitive hole that will soon be phased out.
Carl: What the hell is that?
Master Shake: It takes your MP3's that you download live off the Internet and transforms them into this song!
Carl: Yeah but will it do the ultimate song... Boston's "More Than A Feeling"?
Master Shake: You know, I'm kinda gettin' a bad headache.
Carl: Yeah, I know what you mean, man.
Master Shake: And I don't know if it's this song, or if it is the heavy magnets that were inserted into the base of my neck.
[edit]

Little Brittle [4.6]

Master Shake: Frylock! You're not gonna believe this! A prowler broke in here and forced your cupcakes in my mouth, and he said if you don't leave the room right now, and let him use the internet, he'll shoot me!
Frylock: Fine.
Master Shake: He has a gun, you know.
Frylock: Well, he said he'd shoot you, so I did figure it was a gun.
[edit]

Robositter [4.7]

Robositter: Where's your phone?
Meatwad: You can call Candyland with this one, talk to Gumdrop Larry. You need a calling card made of candy.
Robositter: [smacks the toy phone out of Meatwad's hands] You are in big trouble! I want the real phone, and I want it now, or I will tear you soul apart!
[Robositter throws Meatwad against the wall.]
Meatwad: [crying] I'm tellin'! I am tellin'!
'Robositter: Tell who? The rage of Hell will feast upon you, and I'll make it happen!
Frylock: You're liquified, bitch!
[edit]

Mooninites 4: The Final Mooning [4.8]

[edit]

Diet [4.9]

Emory: Well, let's just cut our losses, and walk away.
Oglethorpe: NEIN! The time for maturity is over!
[Oglethorpe picks up phone and dials pizza company.]
Man on Phone: Hello?
Oglethorpe: Yes, I would like to order a million, no, hold on, 50 million large pizzas!
Frylock: So, how far'd you run, Meatwad?
Meatwad: I powerwalked down to that pile o' gummy bears and back. I should probably set the pile out further … or closer, so I can get at 'em.
Frylock: Maybe you shouldn't eat the gummy bears once you —
Meatwad: Well, that's the half-way point! Shoot, you don't put the gummy bears out, then there ain't no reason to run! Or powerwalk which is what I did.
Meatwad: Mmmmm. This here's a good steak. A little chewy, but it will do.
Frylock: Well, because the steak is a … cat toy.
[Meatwad spits out the steak.]
Frylock: But, I don't know why a cat would play with a steak, but, I just put it in there to get you excited about your real dinner: this, uh, celery stalk right here. Mmmm!
Meatwad: Hey, can I have just one funnel cake … [softly] eating contest?
Frylock: Eww! It's a human liver! [pokes liver] Is this yours, Carl?
Carl: Oh, all right. I don't know, who cares? It's dead weight is what that is.
Meatwad: C-c-can I have it?
Frylock: No, Meatwad!
Meatwad: What? I'm about to die of hunger here! I need meat!
[edit]

Dusty Gozongas [4.10]

Pizza Delivery Alien: You guys order 50 million pizzas?
Ignignokt: Yes, but by my count, you are one-point-three seconds late.
Pizza Delivery Alien: Oh, man. That means they're free.
Ignignokt: Yes, it does, and you are free to go. Leave the pie.
Pizza Delivery Alien: Hang on, I gotta call my mana—
[The door slams and slices off his arm still holding a pizza.]
Pizza Delivery Alien: [screaming outside] AAAAAAAH! My hand! My hand! My hand!
Err: Man, I love pizza.
Meatwad: I can't believe that you let a silly woman get between you and your friends, Shake.
Frylock: 'Specially one that doesn't even know who you are.
Master Shake: It's disgusting, isn't it? Breaks my heart that I have to sue his ass back to the stone age.
Carl: I'm right here, Shake! You wanna go right now? We'll go right now!
Master Shake: C'mon, fat boy!
Carl: Where are ya?
Meatwad: Whoa, whoa, break it up guys, and listen to me. Love's a wonderous thing. But there's more to it than the physical experience, like … like … oh, hell, I dunno, she had some tig ol' bitties, didn't she?
Frylock: Yeah, she did.
Carl: Amen to that.
[edit]

T-Shirt of the Dead [4.11]

Shake: Oh, God, how much longer? Egypt is so boring. It doesn't even exist anymore, I mean, you don't hear DMX rap about it!
Meatwad: I find that this is highly effiligent in edumacationus for my brain, because, I am smart, boy!
Master Shake: You tell me how this is gonna help you get a high-powered six-figure job. You think they ask Tom Cruise this stuff before he signs on his movies? No one has to know this, ever!
Frylock: Shake, just go back to the gift-shop and let Meatwad and I enjoy the exhibit, okay?
Master Shake: You need me here! I am a strong counterpoint in the headphones!
[edit]

Hypno-Germ [4.12]

Shake: "Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Tulip Sniper!"
Tulip Sniper: Thank you, thank you, die dieee.
Meatwad: Okay, uh, I got a two-point question here. One, what's he doin'? Two, should we light him on fire?
Narrator: And the princess turned into the Incredible Hulk. But not the Marvel Comics Incredible Hulk. A completely different Hulk, that we made up.
[edit]

Carl [4.13]

Carl: What!
Meatwad: Did you find my note?
Carl: Oh, was that you, yeah? Thanks for, uh, etchin' it into the side of my house.
Meatwad: Is you mad? You ain't mad are ya?
Carl: Yeah, while we're talkin', you wanna tell me what it frickin' says?
Meatwad: What what says.
Carl: The note.
Meatwad: What note?
Carl: The one on the side of my house!
Meatwad: Oh, that yeah, well, I don't remember.
Carl: Of course.
Delivery Man: It's, uh, $7.92.
Carl: Yeah, here's eight dollars, and, uh, keep it.
Delivery Man: All of it? I don't know if the bank will take all this.
Carl: Hey, man, the night's young. Knock off for a bit. Let's party!
Delivery Man: Oh, no thanks. This is gonna take me all night to cash.
Carl: Hey, don't be so uptight, man. I got a pool in the back, I got beer on ice and, uh ….
[The delivery man drives away.]
Carl: I'm callin' your supervisor, asshole!
Carl: What? [pulls out chopsticks] Oh, great, yeah. No, I love to live in the woods, and eat with sticks. No thank you, we're American, I'll use utensils, okay. But, uh, they're in the kitchen, so, uh ….
[He starts shoveling in Chinese noodles with his hands.]
Carl: Oh, uh, no harm, no foul, you know what I mean?
Meatwad: Wha...where is my... He took my wallet!
Shake: I took the what now?
[Frylock's overprotective robot shoots him]
[edit]

Season 5

[edit]

Dirtfoot [5.1]

Frylock: Shake? [Music is blaring loud as hell from a well in the Aqua Teen's front yard] Shake, what the..? Yo, Shake!
[music turns off]:
Master Shake: Hello? Is that you, Frylock?
Meatwad: When did we get a well?
Frylock: What are you doing down there?
Master Shake: I was just going to get some water for the village. But I must have slipped, and I blacked out. [He pokes his head out of the well] Where are the women?
Frylock: Where did this well come from?
Meatwad: Hey, Frylock. Where the 'hell' did we get this 'well?'
Frylock: Meatwad, you watch your mouth.
Meatwad: Heh, heh, heh, heh, heh.
Master Shake: C'mon. It's the 'Old-abandoned-well.' F.., read the press release!
Frylock: [Reading off the back of a picture of Shake] 'Man falls down 'Old-abaondoned-well.'
Meatwad: Hey, Frylock … ass!
Frylock: Meatwad!
Master Shake: There's only a limited number of those, so, uh, put it back when you're done.
Frylock: Oh, I am done.
Master Shake: [There is a beeping noise heard from the well] And, so is my dinner.
Meatwad: Somethin' smells like chili!
Frylock: He's right.
Master Shake: For the first time in this mealy, friggin' little life, turns out there's an 'old-abandoned-microwave' where I got stuck. With chili, food, couple magazines. So, call channel five, get them broads over here, and tell them about the tragedy of my trappedness. We're gonna do it, though. Build it up. [He goes back into the well] Hot women only!
Meatwad: [Holding a hose down the well] Turn this ass-monkey on, full blast!
Frylock: Will you quit sayin' ass!
Meatwad: I just asked you to do somethin' for me.
Frylock: [Thinking Meatwad said 'assed] Meatwad, you watch your mouth.
Meatwad: I said 'ask!' Blast-hole.
Meatwad: It's OK, Shake, because whoever you decide that you are, I still gonna love you. But just not in a gay way, because God makes all people in different sizes and shapes and problems, but he only makes the people he hates gay. That's you. You it, boy. You gay!
Master Shake: No, I'm not! You don't know me!
[edit]

Boost Mobile [5.2]

Frylock: [Reading a bill from their mailbox] All right, let me see what we got here, hmm, bill … $2,600 … $2,600! What the … ! [Meatwad slams the front door and locks it] Hey! Hey, open the damn door!
Frylock: Uh, Shake, you wanna tell me how the hell we have a $2,600 power bill?
Master Shake: No, I don't!
Meatwad: Know what I wanna do? Learn how to milk a cow.
Frylock: Ok.
[edit]

External links

Wikipedia has an article about:


Wikiquote links: People - Literary Works - Proverbs - Films - TV Shows - Themes - Categories
Retrieved from "http://www.billionquotes.com/index.php/Aqua_Teen_Hunger_Force"
Personal tools