Cats

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The cat, also called the domestic cat or house cat, is a small feline carnivorous mammal of the subspecies Felis silvestris catus. It has been living in close association with humans for between 8,000 and 3,500 years.

Contents

Sourced

  • Perhaps God made cats so that man might have the pleasure of fondling the tiger...
  • Don't want a cat
    Scratching its claws all over my
    Habitat
    Giving no love and getting fat
    Oh, you can get lonely
    And a cat's no help with that.
  • The kitten has a luxurious, Bohemian, unpuritanical nature. It eats six meals a day, plays furiously with a toy mouse and a piece of rope, and suddenly falls into a deep sleep whenever the fit takes it. It never feels the necessity to do anything to justify its existence; it does not want to be a Good Citizen; it has never heard of Service. It knows that it is beautiful and delightful, and it considers that a sufficient contribution to the general good. And in return for its beauty and charm it expects fish, meat, and vegetables, a comfortable bed, a chair by the grate fire, and endless petting.
  • Cat, I'm a kitty-cat, and I dance, dance, dance, and I dance, dance, dance.

In praise of cats

Cats and humans

  • Authors like cats because they are such quiet, lovable, wise creatures, and cats like authors for the same reasons.
  • The cat is a wild animal that inhabits the homes of humans.
  • [My cat] Nameless and I have an agreement: I leave her alone and don't make sudden moves when I wake up to find her perched on my chest, staring with an unblinking hostile gaze at my face and in return she rarely mutilates me.

Unsourced

  • Our character is what God and cats know of us.
  • When the rat laughs at the cat, there is a hole. The rat has not power to call the cat to account. The rat does not go to sleep in the cat's bed.
  • No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens.

In praise of cats

  • Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will pee on your computer.
    • Bruce Graham
    • echoing Tolkien's "Don't meddle in the affairs of wizards, for they are subtle and quick to anger."

Cats and humans

  • Dogs have Masters. Cats have staff.
    • Anonymous
  • Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want.
  • I gave my cat a bath the other day... They love it. He sat there, he enjoyed it, it was fun for me. The fur would stick to my tongue, but other than that...

Cat elegance

  • Cats, no less liquid than their shadows, offer no angles to the wind. They slip, diminished, neat, through loopholes less than themselves.

Cat arrogance

  • In ancient times, cats were worshipped as gods. They have never forgotten this.
  • A cat knows exactly what you are, and treats you accordingly.
    • author unknown
  • Cats understand our feelings. They don't care, but they understand.

Cat intelligence

  • I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior.
  • Children are like cats, they can tell when you don't like them. That's when they come over and violate your body space.
  • Everyone knows cats are on a higher level of existence. These silly humans are just too big-headed to admit their inferiority. Just think what a nicer world this would be if it were controlled by cats.
    You wouldn't see cats having waste disposal problems. They're neat.
    They don't have sexual hangups. A cat gets horny, it does something about it.
    They keep reasonable hours. You never see a cat up before noon.
    They know how to relax. Ever heard of a cat with an ulcer?
    What are the chances of a cat starting a nuclear war? Pretty neglible. It's not that they can't, they just know that there are much better things to do with one's time. Like lie in the sun and sleep. Or go exploring the world.

External links

Wikipedia has an article about:
Cat.




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