Clue

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Clue is a 1985 U.S. comedy film based on the boardgame Clue (a.k.a. Cluedo). The film uses the characters and murder mystery premise of the boardgame as the basis for a quickfire farce.

Contents


Spoiler warning: Plot, ending, or solution details follow.

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Prof. Plum (Christopher Lloyd)

  • "I work for U.N.O., the United Nations Organization. I work for a special branch, the World Health Organization." [U NO WHO]
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Mrs. White (Madeline Kahn)

  • "Husbands should be like Kleenex: soft, strong, and disposable."
  • "It's a matter of life after death. Now that he's dead, I have a life."
  • "I hated her so much, I..it...it..the flames...flames on the side of my face. Breathing, heaving, breathless..."
  • "Life after death is as improbable as sex after marriage."
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Ms. Scarlet (Lesley Ann Warren)

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Mrs. Peacock (Eileen Brennan)

  • "Whoever it is better go away or they'll be killed!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ( CRASH)"

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Mr. Green (Michael McKean)

  • "Well I DIDN'T DO IT!"
  • "But if you want to know who killed Mr Boddy, I did. In the Hall. With the Revolver."
  • "I'm going home to sleep with my wife."
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Wadsworth (Tim Curry)

  • "Frankly, Scarlet, I don't give a damn."
  • "Mrs. White, no man in his right mind would be caught alone together with you!"
  • "That's what we're trying to find out: WHO killed him, WHERE and WITH WHAT!"
  • "I'M NOT SHOUTING! ALRIGHT I AM! I'M SHOUTING! I'M SHOUTING! I'M SHOUT..."
  • "Can you keep a secret? So can I."
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Dialogues

Mrs. Peacock: "Shouldn't we wait for the other guest?"
Yvette: "I will keep something warm for him."
Miss Scarlet: "What did you have in mind, dear?"
Col. Mustard: "Do you like Kipling, Miss Scarlet?"
Miss Scarlet: "Sure, I'll eat anything."
Wadsworth: "Professor Plum, you were once a professor of psychiatry specializing in helping paranoid and homicidal lunatics suffering from delusions of grandeur."
Profeser Plum: "Yes, but now I work for the United Nations."
Wadsworth: "Well, your work has not changed."
Col. Mustard: "You lure men to their deaths, like a spider with flies!"
Mrs. White: "Flies are where men are most vulnerable."
Col. Mustard: "Mr. Boddy threatened to send those pictures to my dear old mother. The shock would have killed her!"
Mrs. White: "Well, that would be quite an achievement, seeing as you've told us that she's dead already."
Mrs. White: "Are you a cop?"
Mr. Green: "No, I'm a plant."
Miss Scarlet: "A plant? I thought men like you were usually called a fruit."
Mr. Green: "Very funny."
Mrs. Peacock: "Yvette, is there a little girls' room in the hall?
Yvette: "Oui, oui, madame."
Mrs. Peacock: "No, I just I want to powder my nose, thank you."
Mr. Green: "Well, how did you know Col. Mustard then? Was he one of your clients?"
Col. Mustard: "Certainly not!"
Mr. Green: "I was asking Miss Scarlet!"
Col. Mustard: "Well, you tell them that's not true!"
Miss Scarlet: "It's not true."
Col. Mustard: "Is that true?"
Miss Scarlet: "No that's not true."
Mr. Green: "A-ha! So it is true!"
Wadsworth: "A double negative!"
Col. Mustard: "Double negative? You mean you have photographs?!"
Wadsworth: "That sounded like a confession to me. In fact, your double negative has lead to proof-positive; I'm afraid you gave yourself away."
Col. Mustard: "Are you trying to make me look stupid in front of the other guests?"
Wadsworth: "You don't need any help from me, sir."
Col. Mustard: "That's right!"
Wadsworth: "Like the Mounties, we always get our man!"
Mr. Green:: "Mrs. Peacock was a man?!"
Mr. Green:: "Does the FBI make a habit of cleaning up after multiple murders?"
Wadsworth: "Of course! Why do you think it's run by a man called Hoover?"
Wadsworth: "Your first husband also disappeared!"
Mrs. White: "Well, that was his job. He was an illusionist."
Wadsworth: "But he never RE-appeared!"
Mrs. White: "He wasn't a very good illusionist."
Cop: "This man is drunk. Dead drunk!"
Miss Scarlet: "Dead right!"
Cop: "You're not going to drive home, are you?"
Prof. Plum: "He won't be driving home, officer, I promise you that!"
Cop: "Somebody will give him a lift, huh?"
Miss Scarlet: "Oh, we'll...we'll...we'll get him a car!"
Prof. Plum: "A long black car!"
Miss Scarlet: [Elbows him in ribs.] "A limosine!"
Prof. Plum: "What are you afraid of? A fate worse than death?"
Mrs. Peacock: "No, just death. Isn't that enough?"
Yvette: "Go on. I'll be right behind you."
Mr. Green:: "That's why I'm nervous."
Mrs. White: "Oh no! Nobody can get into that position!"
Prof. Plum: "Sure they can, let me show you." [Climbs on top of her.]
Mrs. White: "Get off me!"
Mr. Body: "What are they all doin' here?"
Wadsworth: "Eating dinner."
Mr. Green: "Why is J. Edgar Hoover on your phone?"
Wadsworth: "I don't know. He's on everybody else's, why shouldn't he be on mine?"
Cop: "Let me out of here! Let me out, you have no right to shut me in! I'll book you for false arrest, and wrongful imprisonment, and obstructing an officer in the course of his duty...and MURDER!"
Wadsworth: [Opens door.] "What do you mean - murder?"
Cop: "I just said it so you would open the door."
Wadsworth: "Help yourself to a drink, if you like. Not the cognac, just in case."
Cop: "Just in case of what?"
[Col. Mustard looks into the study.]
Col. Mustard: "Just checking."
Mrs. Peacock: "Everything all right?"
Col. Mustard: "Yep, two corpses, everything's fine."
Mrs. White: "Don't you think we should get that man out of the house before he finds out what's been going on here?!"
Prof. Plum: "How can we throw him outside in this weather?"
Miss Scarlet: "If we let him stay in the house, he may get suspicious."
Prof. Plum: "If we throw him out, he may get even more suspicious."
Col. Mustard: "If I were him, I'd be suspicious already!"
Mrs. Peacock: "Oh, who cares, that guy doesn't matter! Let him stay, locked up, for another half an hour! The police will be here by then, and there are TWO DEAD BODIES, IN THE STUDY!"
All: "Shhhhhhhhhhh!!!"
Mr. Green: Well, he couldn't have been dead.
Prof. Plum: "He was! At least I thought he was. But, what difference does it make now?"
Miss Scarlet: "Makes quite a difference to him!"
Col. Mustard: "Which room's this?"
Miss Scarlet: "Search me."
Col. Mustard: "Okay." [He proceeds to pat Miss Scarlet down.]
Miss Scarlet: "Get your mitts off me!"
Wadsworth: "I know, so I choose to expose myself."
Col. Mustard: "Please, there are ladies present!"
Col. Mustard: "Wadsworth, am I right in thinking that there nobody else in this house?"
Wadsworth: "No."
Col. Mustard: "So there is someone else in the house?"
Wadsworth: "No, sorry. I said 'no' meaning 'yes'."
Col. Mustard: "No meaning yes? Look, I want a straight answer: is there someone else or isn't there, yes or no?"
Wadsworth: "Um...no."
Col. Mustard: "No, there is? Or no, there isn't?"
Wadsworth: "Yes."
Col. Mustard: "Well there is still some confusion as to whether or not there is anybody else in the house."
Wadsworth: "I told you there isn't."
Col. Mustard: "There isn't any confusion, or there isn't anyone else?"
Wadsworth: "Either! Or, both."
Col. Mustard: "Look, would you just give me a clear answer?"
Wadsworth: "Certainly! What was the question?"
Col. Mustard: "Is there anybody else in the house?!"
All: "NO!!!"
Col. Mustard: "That's what he says, but does he know? I suggest we handle this in proper military fashion we split up and search the house."
Colonel Mustard: "This is war Peacock. Casualties are inevitable. You can not make an omelette without breaking some eggs, every cook will tell you that. "
Mrs. Peacock: "But look what happened to the cook. "
Miss Scarlet: Well to be perfectly frank, I run a specialized hotel and a telephone service, which provide gentlemen with the company of a young lady for a short while.
Prof. Plum: Oh yeah? [Takes a pen and notepad from his pocket] What's the phone number?
[Mr. Green shoots Wadsworth]
Wadsworth: "Good shot, Green!"
[Wadsworth slumps to the floor, checks his chest, revealing a bloody palm]
Wadsworth: "Oh, VERY good..."
[Dies.]
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External links

Wikipedia has an article about:
Clue (film).


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