Clueless
From BillionQuotes
A popular movie released in the mid '90s starring Alicia Silverstone which was based on the Jane Austen novel Emma
Contents |
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Cher
- Here's where Dionne lives. She's my friend because we both know what it's like to have people be jealous of us.
- Dionne and her boyfriend Murray are in this dramatic relationship. I think they've seen that Ike and Tina Turner movie just too many times.
- Isn't my house classic? The columns date all the way back to 1972.
- Until mankind is peaceful enough not to have violence on the news, there's no point in taking it out of shows that need it for entertainment value.
- (to step-brother Josh) So, the flannel shirt deal -- is that a nod to the crispy Seattle weather, or are you just trying to stay warm in front of the refrigerator?
- So, okay, I don't want to be a traitor to my generation and all, but I don't get how guys dress today. I mean, come on, it looks like they just fell out of bed and put on some baggy pants and take their greasy hair, ew, and cover it up with a backwards cap and, like, we're expected to swoon? I don't think so!
- You see how picky I am about my shoes, and they only go on my feet!
- Searching for a boy in high school is as useless as searching for meaning in a Pauly Shore movie.
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Mr Hall
- Now could all conversations please come to a halt? And could the suicide attempts please be postponed till the next period?
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Dialogue
- Cher: *looks at Dionne's hat* Shopping with Dr. Seuss?
- Dionne: *picks up Cher's backpack* Well, at least I wouldn't skin a collie to make my backpack.
- Cher: It's faux!
- Dionne: Hello! There was a stop sign.
- Cher: I totally paused.
- Murray: Woman, why don't you be answering any of my pages?
- Dionne: I hate when you call me woman!
- Murray: Where you been all weekend? What's up? You been jeepin' around behind my back?
- Dionne: Jeepin'?
- Cher: Jeepin'.
- Murray: Jeepin', jeepin'.
- Dionne: No, but speaking of vehicular sex, perhaps you can explain to me how this cheap K-mart hair extension got into the back seat of your car.
- Murray: I don't know where that came from. That looks like one of your stringy something or others you got up here...
- Dionne: Excuse me. I do not wear polyester hair, okay? Unlike some people I know, like Shawanna.
- Dionne: Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May, but thy eternal summer shall not fade. Phat! Did you write that?
- Cher: Duh, it's like a famous quote.
- Dionne: From where?
- Cher: Cliff's Notes.
- Mr Hall: Cher Horowitz... two tardies.
- Cher: I object! Do you recall the dates of these alleged tardies?
- Mr Hall: One was last Monday.
- Cher: Mr Hall, I was surfing the crimson wave. I had to haul ass to the ladies.
- Mr Hall: I assume you're referring to women's troubles and so, I'll let that one slide.
- Josh: If I ever saw you do anything that wasn't 90% selfish I'd die of shock.
- Cher: Oh, that'd be reason enough for me.
- Mel: You mean to tell me that you argued your way from a C-plus to an A-minus?
- Cher: Totally based on my powers of persuasion. You proud?
- Mel: Honey, I couldn't be happier than if they were based on real grades.
- Amber: Miss Stoeger, my plastic surgeon doesn't want me doing any activity where balls fly at my nose.
- Dionne: Well, there goes your social life.
- Mel: Do you know what time it is?!
- Cher: A watch doesn't exactly go with this outfit.
- Josh: In some parts of the universe, maybe not in Contempo Casuals, but in some parts, it's considered cool to know what's going on in the world.
- Cher: Thank you, Josh. I so need lessons from you on how to be cool. Tell me that part about Kenny G again?
- Cher: Hey! You know about this stuff. I wanna do something good for humanity.
- Josh: How about sterilization?
- Tai: Cher, you're a virgin?
- Cher: God, you say that like it's a bad thing.
- Dionne: Besides, the PC term is "hymenally challenged".
- Murray: You almost had sex with who?
- Cher: Christian.
[Murray cracks up]
- Dionne: What?
- Murray: Yo, look! Are you bitches blind or something? Your man Christian is a cake boy.
- Dionne & Cher: A what?
- Murray: He's a disco-dancing, Oscar-Wilde-reading, Streisand ticket-holding friend of Dorothy.
- Cher: But, Tai, do you really think you'd be good with Josh? I mean, he's like a school nerd.
- Tai: What, am I some sort of a mentally challenged airhead?
- Cher: No! Not even! I didn't say that.
- Tai: what, I'm not good enough for Josh or something?
- Cher: I.. I just don't think you mesh well together.
- Tai: YOU don't think that WE mesh well?! Why am I even listening to you to begin with? You're a virgin who can't drive.
- Travis: It's one of my steps. See, I joined this club and there are these steps.. [starts counting]
- Cher: 12?
- Travis: Yeah, 12. How did you know?
- Cher: Wild guess.
- Josh: Yeah. Well, it's good learning experience, at least for me. I want to be a lawyer. But you, I mean, you don't need to be doing this. Go out and have fun. Go shopping.
- Cher: Oh, you think that's all I do. That I'm just a ditz with a credit card?
- Josh: No, uh, that's not what I meant. It's just.. um.. Uh, the.. You're.. young and beautiful and..
- Cher: And?
- Josh: and, uh, well, what?
- Cher: You think I'm beautiful?
- Josh: Mmm.. yeah. You know you're gorgeous, all right?
- Cher: Oh, she's a full on monet.
- Tai: What's that?
- Cher: You see, it's like a painting, from far away it's ok, but up close it's a big ol' mess.
- Mel: What did you do at school today?
- Cher: Well, I broke in my purple clogs.
- Murray: Woman, lend me fi' dollas.
- Dionne: Murray, I have asked you repeatedly not to call me "woman".
- Murray: Excuse me, Ms. Dionne.
- Dionne: Thank you.
- Murray: My street slang is an increasingly valid form of expression. Most of the feminine pronouns do have mocking, but not necessarily misogynistic undertones.
- Tai: Wow, you guys talk like grown ups.
- Cher: Oh well this is a really good school
- Mel Horowitz: I'd like to see you have a little bit of direction.
- Cher: I have direction.
- Josh: Yeah. Towards the mall.
- Josh: Hey, James Bond, this is America. We drive on the right side of the road.
- Cher: I am! You try driving in platforms!
- Cher: Lucy, you know I don't speak Mexican.
- Lucy: I am not a Mexican! *storms out*
- Cher: What was that about?
- Josh: Lucy's from El Salvador.
- Cher: So?
- Josh: That's an entirely different country.
- Cher: What does that matter?
- Josh: You get angry if somebody thinks you live below Sunset.
- Cher: Hey granola breath, you've got something on your chin.
- Josh: I'm growing a goatee.
- Cher: Oh, that's good. You don't want to be the last person at the coffee house without chin pubes.
- Mel: Josh, are you still growing? You look taller than you did at Easter.
- Josh: I don't think so.
- Mel: Doesn't he look bigger?
- Cher: His head does.
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