Gallagher

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Gallagher

Born: Leo Anthony Gallagher, 24 July 1947 American stand-up comic
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  • "People like crowds. The bigger the crowd, the more people show up. Small crowd, hardly anybody shows up."
  • "Don't you wish there were a knob on the TV to turn up the

intelligence? There's one marked 'Brightness,' but it doesn't work."

  • "You know what's stupid? Skiing. You get on top of a slippery mountain with sleds on your feet and you go down... big deal. Try not to. Or, go up! Now that'd be a sport for ya!"
  • "What would a chair look like if our knees bent the other way?"
  • "Wouldn't it be great if people were the same in bed as they are in every day life? When Mark Spitz gets done, does he do a flip off the headboard & come back for another lap?...Gee, Nadia, that was PERFECT! That full twisting dismount wasn't bad either, babe!"
  • "Y'know, God experimented with the other animals before he got around to us. You ladies oughtta thank him for creating the cow, and getting that udder idea out of his head!"
  • "You ever see that sign: 'This Door Must Remain Shut At All Times'...why have a goddam door?"



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