Gallagher

From BillionQuotes

Gallagher

• "People like crowds. The bigger the crowd, the more people show up. Small crowd, hardly anybody shows up."

• "Don't you wish there were a knob on the TV to turn up the

intelligence? There's one marked 'Brightness,' but it doesn't work."

• "You know what's stupid? Skiing. You get on top of a slippery mountain with sleds on your feet and you go down... big deal. Try not to. Or, go up! Now that'd be a sport for ya!"

• "What would a chair look like if our knees bent the other way?"

• "Wouldn't it be great if people were the same in bed as they are in every day life? When Mark Spitz gets done, does he do a flip off the headboard & come back for another lap?...Gee, Nadia, that was PERFECT! That full twisting dismount wasn't bad either, babe!"

• "Y'know, God experimented with the other animals before he got around to us. You ladies oughtta thank him for creating the cow, and getting that udder idea out of his head!"

• "You ever see that sign: 'This Door Must Remain Shut At All Times'...why have a goddam door?"