Garfield

From BillionQuotes

Garfield is a popular comic strip created by Jim Davis, as well as the name of the main character of the strip.

Contents 1 From the Comic Strip 1.1 Garfield 1.2 Jon Arbuckle 2 Dialogues

From the Comic Strip

Garfield

• "Show me a good mouser, and I'll show you a cat with bad breath."
  • June 21 1978 [1]
    • Many sayings of Garfield's come in the form of "Show me ... and I'll show you ..."

• "Happiness is a warm television set."
  • June 23 1978 [2]

• "Everything tastes good when you're on a diet."
  • September 1 1978 [3]

• "If God had intended for dogs to bark, he would've given them roots and leaves."
  • September 29 1978 [4]

• "I'm fat, and I'm lazy, and I'm proud of it!"
  • December 31 1978 [5]

• "I'm only human."
  • January 22 1979 [6]

• "A true gourmet never shies away from a new taste treat."
  • July 8 1979 [7]

• "Show me a jogger and I'll show you a strange person with a thing for pain."
  • August 23 1979 [8]

• "Cats are just little people with fur and fangs."
  • October 12 1979 [9]

• "Frailty, thy name is dog."
  • July 6 1980 [10]

• "You can't have everything. Where would you put it?"

• "Dogs appear friendly, but I'd hate to get caught between one and his appetite."

• "When I want in, I want in now!"

• "Lips that touch mice will never touch mine."

• "Jon says I have a surly attitude in the morning. Some people have to ease into the day. I feel better after I've killed something."

• "Reading the newspaper? Why? There's nothing in there about me. ... Except for that article about the candy store riot."

• "Food is a dichotomy...fat people hate to love it...and skinny people love to hate it."

• "Feed Me."

• "Dogs are nature's way of telling us we could be worse off."

• "Home is where they understand you"
  • February 7 1981 [11]

Jon Arbuckle

• "Cats are nice to have when you're lonely."
  • October 14 1978 [12]

• "I love getting mail. It's just another reminder you're alive."
  • April 16 1979 [13]

• "I think I'll step into the next room and have a nervous breakdown."
  • April 9 1980 [14]

• "There are many things in life I will never understand...and they're all women."

Dialogues

Jon: You should start each day with a smile.

Garfield: That's a pretty tall order. Couldn't I start with a smirk and work my way up?

Garfield: If you can guess how many cookies are in this jar, you win the entire contents!

Jon: You ate them all, didn't you?

Garfield: WE HAVE A WINNER!

Jon: So, Doc, how's Garfield?

Liz: He'll live.

Jon: And how are my chances of getting a date?

Liz: I'm afraid they're terminal.

Jon: It's a beautiful morning!

Garfield: Wake me in the ugly afternoon.

Garfield: Never fear, Jon. No mouse will ever get your cheese while I'm around! (Tossing the whole hunk of cheese into his own mouth) No sirree.

Jon: *Sigh*

Jon: Garfield, there was a pan of lasagna right here. Where's the lasagna?

Garfield: (Grinning) Resting comfortably.

Jon: Where's the pan?

Garfield: Urp... resting not so comfortably.

Jon: You know, Garfield, you should really be thankful for the food you eat.

Garfield: I am, Jon, I am. I'm also thankful for the food you eat.

Jon: (Singing while he gets ready for a date with Liz) Got a date with my dream chick, she is cute and that's just a start... oh yeah, she's a vet, and better yet, she'll make a house call on my heart. Doo wop doo wop...

Garfield: You are witnessing a phenomenon known as the mating ritual of the nerd.

Garfield: I hate spiders!

(Garfield attempts to jump on a spider and squish it, but ends up only crashing through the wood floor - and missing the spider.)

Garfield: I hate hating spiders.

Lyman: What's your tennis racket strung with?

Jon: Catgut.

Garfield: (grabs the racket) Aunt Reba!!zh:加菲猫