Happy Gilmore

From BillionQuotes

Happy Gilmore is a 1996 film about a rejected hockey player who puts his skills to the golf course to save his grandmother's house.

Directed by Dennis Dugan. Written by Tim Herlihy and Adam Sandler

He doesn't play golf... he destroys it.

1 Happy Gilmore
2 Shooter McGavin
3 Dialogue
4 Other
5 Taglines
6 Cast
7 External links

[edit]

Happy Gilmore

Happy Gilmore: During high school, I played junior hockey and still hold two league records: most time spent in the penalty box; and I was the only guy to ever take off his skate and try to stab somebody.

Happy Gilmore: [to Bob Barker] The price is wrong, bitch.

Happy Gilmore: If I saw myself dressed like that, I'd have to kick my own ass.

Happy Gilmore: You little son of a bitch ball! Why don't you just go home? That's your HOME! Are you too good for your home? ANSWER ME! SUCK MY WHITE ASS BALL!

Happy Gilmore: Happy learned how to putt, UH-OH!

Happy Gilmore: [after an air conditioning vent falls on an old lady] Remember that "Mista, Mista" lady? Well, I think I just killed her.

Happy Gilmore: [after mini-golf ball was rejected several times by clown head] YOU'RE GONNA DIE CLOWN! *proceeds to smash the clown's nose in with putter*

Happy Gilmore: Yeah, it is about time! I mean I just couldnt get the ball in the hole! I wanted to but I just couldnt do it! ( Pulls guys shirt and punches him in the face)

[edit]

Shooter McGavin

Shooter McGavin: Damn you people. Go back to your shanties.

Shooter McGavin: Thank you, Doug. You know, I saw Doug playing yesterday. And I've got to tell you, this guy spends more time on the sand than David Hasselhoff.

[edit]

Dialogue

Virginia: What's this about you breaking a rake and throwing it in the woods?

Happy Gilmore: I didn't *break* it, I was merely testing its durability, and I *placed* it in the woods cause it's made of wood and I thought he should be with his family.

Virginia: I thought we were just going to be friends.

Happy Gilmore: What? Friends listen to Endless Love in the dark.

Chubbs: They never let me play on the pro tour.

Happy Gilmore: Oh I'm sorry. Because you're black?

Chubbs: HELL no. Damn alligator bit my hand off! [Shows wooden hand]

Happy Gilmore: OH MY GOD!

Shooter McGavin: I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast.

Happy Gilmore: [laughing] You eat pieces of shit for breakfast?

Shooter McGavin: No... I...

Shooter McGavin: [to happy] Yeah, and Grizzly Adams had a beard.

Lee Trevino: Grizzly Adams DID have a beard.

[edit]

Other

Donald: You're gonna need a blanket and suntan lotion, cause you're never gonna get off that beach, just like the way you never got into the NHL... you jackass!