Internet

Quotations about the Internet

Sourced

During my service in the United States Congress, I took the initiative in creating the Internet. I took the initiative in moving forward a whole range of initiatives that have proven to be important to our country's economic growth and environmental protection, improvements in our educational system.
- Al Gore, in a statement often misquoted as "I invented the Internet." CNN Late Edition (9 March 1999)

I think that the online world has actually brought books back. People are reading because they're reading the damn screen. That's more reading than people used to do. ~ Bill Murray, Interview with Jessica Lee Jernigan (May 1999)

I hear there's rumors on the internets that we're going to have a draft. We're not going to have a draft, period.
- George W. Bush, 2nd Presidential Debate (8 October 2004)

On the Internet, nobody knows you're a dog.
- Peter Steiner cartoon in The New Yorker (5 July 1993) page 61

On the Internet, nobody can hear you fart.
- Jonas Whitespore, Usenet article <36a99bbe.27217047@enews.newsguy.com> (1999)

The NET is a waste of time, and that's exactly what's right about it.
- William Gibson Title of an article for New York Times Magazine (14 July 1996)

Even if you do go into a coma, you can still keep posting to Usenet -- everyone else does.
- Lance Olkovick, Usenet article <33ef28ff.19084240@newsserver.sfu.ca> (1997)

They can't ignore us, and they can't put us down. Thank God for the Internet, or we wouldn't know anything, and we would already be a fascist state.
- Cindy Sheehan, media conference call (11 August 2005)

Some complain that e-mail is impersonal -- that your contact with me, during the e-mail phase of our relationship, was mediated by wires and screens and cables. Some would say that's not as good as conversing face-to-face. And yet our seeing of things is always mediated by corneas, retinas, optic nerves, and some neural machinery that takes the information from the optic nerve and propagates it into our minds. So, is looking at words on a screen so very much inferior? I think not; at least then you are conscious of the distortions. Whereas, when you see someone with your eyes, you forget about the distortions and imagine you are experiencing them purely and immediately.
- Neal Stephenson, Cryptonomicon

And one of the main reasons that people put up in commercials about online chat rooms and such. They are all, "r kidZ are B-ing sexuAlly OFFENDEd on-line on the net" when really they are just saying, "Our kids are stupid, and are no longer allowed to be social and talk to anyone ever again, because if they do, they will DIE". They give us internet-born kids too little credit.
- Charmin'

Adding radio-frequency identification and other sensors to everyday objects will create an Internet of Things, and lay the foundations of a new age of machine perception. ~ Kevin Ashton, co-founder & executive director of MIT's Auto-ID Center

Doing research on the Web is like using a library assembled piecemeal by pack rats and vandalized nightly.
- Roger Ebert

Twenty years ago no one could have imagined the effects the Internet would have: entire relationships flourish, friendships prosper…there’s a vast new intimacy and accidental poetry, not to mention the weirdest porn. The entire human experience seems to unveil itself like the surface of a new planet. ~ J. G. Ballard

We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.
- Robert Wilensky

When they say, "Gee, it's an information explosion!"—no, it's not an explosion, it's a disgorgement of the bowels is what it is. Every idiotic thing that anybody could possibly write or say or think can get into the body politic now—where before things would have to have some merit to go through the publishing routine, now, anything. And all you're getting is an explosion of useless crap, which added to the other useless crap that was being done originally, only makes it that much worse.
- Harlan Ellison

Why do people keep insisting that I join the twenty-first century? I live in the twenty-first century! I just don't want to be bothered by the shitheads on the internet!
- Harlan Ellison

If addiction is judged by how long a dumb animal will sit pressing a lever to get a "fix" of something, to its own detriment, then I would conclude that netnews is far more addictive than cocaine.
- Robert Stampfli

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