Into the Woods

From BillionQuotes

Into the Woods is a fairy tale-themed musical by Stephen Sondheim and James Lapine about the experiences of various familiar characters in the woods, as they strive to get their wishes and deal with the consequences of those wishes.

• Narrator: "Once upon a time..."

• Narrator: "Jack, on the other hand, had no father, and his mother... well, she was not quite beautiful."

• Jack's Mother: "You foolish child! What in heaven's name is a cow doing inside the house?"

Jack: "A warm environment might just be what Milky-White needs to produce his milk!"

Jack's Mother: "It's a she! How many times do I have to tell you? Only 'shes' can give milk!"

• Red Ridinghood: "And perhaps a sticky bun? Or four?"

• Jack's Mother: "There are bugs on her dugs! There are flies in her eyes! There's a lump on her rump big enough to be a hump! We've no time to sit and dither while her withers wither with her, and no one keeps a cow for a friend...sometimes I fear you're touched!"

• Witch: "Your father cried/And your mother died/When for extra measure--/I admit it was a pleasure--/I said, 'Sorry,/I'm still not mollified.'/And I laid a little spell on them--/You too, son--/That your family tree/Would always be/A barren one..."

• Baker: "No, no, the spell is on my house. Only I can lift the spell, the spell is on my house."

Baker's Wife: "No, no, the spell is on our house. We must lift the spell together, the spell is on our house."

• Baker, Baker's Wife: "The cow as white as milk, the cape as red as blood, the hair as yellow as corn, the slipper as pure as gold."

• All: "Into the woods, and out of the woods, and home before dark!"

• Wolf: "There's no possible way/To describe how you feel/When you're talking to your meal!"

• Baker's Wife: "These are no ordinary beans, son. These beans carry magic."

Jack: "What kind of magic?"

Baker's Wife (to Baker): "Tell him."

Baker (nervous and confused): "Magic that... defies description."

• Mysterious Man: "You'd be lucky to exchange her for a sack of beans!"

• Baker (gesturing towards Milky-White): "Look at her, she's crying!"

• Narrator: "And scarcely had the wolf said this, than with a single bound he was devouring the little girl. Well, it was a full day of eating for them both."

• "Though scary is exciting, nice is different than good."

• Baker's Wife: "I've never lied to royalty before. I've never anything to royalty before!"

• "One midnight gone!"

• Jack's Mother: "The slotted spoon won't hold much soup."

"The slotted spoon can catch the potato!"

• Baker's Wife: "I see you've the red cape."

Baker: "Yes, only two more items left to locate."

Wife: "Three."

Baker: "Two. I've the cape and the cow."

Wife: "You've the cape!"

Baker: "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH THE COW?!"

• Rapunzel's Prince: "I stand beneath her tower and say, 'Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair to me.' And she lowers the longest, most beautiful head of hair - yellow as corn - which I climb to her."

Cinderella's Prince: "Rapunzel, Rapunzel... What kind of a name is Rapunzel? You jest!"

• Rapunzel's Prince: "Agony!... When you know she would go with you/If there only were doors."

• The Princes: "Agony!/Oh, the tortures they teach!"

Cinderella's Prince: "Always ten steps behind!"

Rapunzel's Prince: "Always ten feet below!"

The Princes: "...and she's just out of reach!"

• Jack's Mother: "You be careful with your children."

Baker's Wife: "I have no children."

Jack's Mother: "That's okay, too."

• Baker: "Well... perhaps it will take the two of us to get this child."

• Mysterious Man: "When is a white cow not a white cow?"

• Jack: "What a beautiful cape!"

Little Red: "Stay away from my cape or I'll slice you into a thousand bits!"

Jack: "I don't want it. I was just admiring it."

Little Red: "My granny made it for me from a wolf that attacked us. I got to skin the animal. And best of all, she gave me this beautiful knife for protection!"

Jack: "Well, look what I have. A hen that lays golden eggs."

Little Red: "I don't believe that egg came from that hen. Where did you get that egg?"

Jack: "Well up in the kingdom up in the sky. And if you think this is something, you should see the golden harp the giant has. It plays the most beatuiful tunes without your even having to touch it."

Little Red: "Of course it does. Why don't you go up to the kingdom right now and bring it back and show me?"

Jack: "I could!"

Little Red: "You could not, Mr. Liar!"

• Cinderella: "Now it's he and not you/Who is stuck with a shoe,/In a stew,/In the goo,/And you've learned something, too,/Something you never knew,/On the steps of the palace!"

• Baker's Wife: "I need your shoe to have a child!"

Cinderella (puzzled): "Well, that makes no sense."

• Cinderella's Prince: "Worrying will do you no good. If he's safe, then he's safe. And if he's been crushed... well, there's nothing we can do about that, is there?"

• Baker: "We had a cow as white as milk, honestly we did!"

Witch: "Then where is she?"

Wife: "She's dead."

Baker: "We thought you'd prefer a live cow."

Witch: "Of course I'd prefer a live cow. So bring me the dead cow and I'll bring her back to life!"

• Jack: "Milky-White! Now I have two friends, a cow and a harp!"

• Rapunzel's Prince: "Dwarfs are very upsetting."

• Narrator: Without me you won't have anyone to tell the story!

Witch: Some of us don't like the way you've been telling it.

• "It's his father's fault that the curse got placed and the place got cursed in the first place."

• "You're so nice. You're not good; you're not bad; you're just nice. I'm not good. I'm not nice. I'm just right. I'm the witch; you're the world!"

• Witch: "What's wrong?"

Rapunzel: "Oh...nothing. You only blinded my prince and then abandoned me alone in the desert where I bore twins and raised them alone. Because of you I can never be truly happy!"

Witch: "I was only trying to be a good mother."

• Mysterious Man (on different occasions): "When first I appear I seem mysterious, but when explained I'm nothing serious."

"When first I appear I seem delirious, but when explained I'm nothing serious."

"When first I appear I seem deleterious, but when explained I'm nothing serious."

• "You can talk to birds?"

• All: "Careful the things you say...children will listen."

• Little Red Riding Hood: "The woods are just trees./The trees are just wood."

• Cinderella's Prince: "I was raised to be charming, not sincere."

• Just remember: someone is on your side. Someone else is not. While you're seeing your side Maybe you forgot No one is alone. Truly, no one is alone.

• "I wish..." (Opening and closing lines of the play)