Kevin Smith

From BillionQuotes

Kevin Patrick Smith (born 2 August 1970) American writer, film director and producer; he often appears in his own films as "Silent Bob".

1 Sourced
2 Attributed
3 External links

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From interviews

Mr. Smith Goes To Hollywood: Jay is a creature of the Id, who has no filter as to what to say; he just says what's on his mind. So what's funny about the character is his lack of moral boundary. He says what he says without thinking of the repercussions, and I'm there to just roll my eyes.

I really wanted to make a movie where the worst thing that could happen at the end of the day, was somebody would write on a web site that 'Kevin Smith sucks cock' and spell 'cock' wrong.

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Clerks (1994)

Silent Bob: There's a million fine looking women in the world, dude, but not all of them bring in lasagna at work. Most of them just cheat on you.

Jay: What's up, baby? What's up, sluts?

Jay: Yeah, Silent Bob, you're a rude motherfucker, you know that? But you're cute as hell. I could go down on you, suck you, line up three other guys and make like a circus seal. [makes a rude head gesture and car horn honks] Ewww, you fuckin' faggot, I hate guys. I LOVE WOMEN!

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Mallrats (1995)

Jay: Fly Batass! Fly!

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Chasing Amy (1997)

Jay: You gotta boil it down to the essentials. It's like Cube says, "Life ain't nothing but bitches and money."

Jay: [to Holden] What do you look so shocked for, man? Fat bastard does this all the time. He thinks just 'cause he doesn't say anything, it'll have this huge impact when he does open his fuckin' mouth.

Silent Bob (reply to previous): Jesus Christ, why don't you shut up? You're always yap-yap-yappin' all the time. You're giving me a fucking headache.

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Dogma (1999)

Jay: I feel like I'm Han Solo, and you're Chewie, and she's Ben Kenobi, and we're in that fucked-up bar.

Jay: [talking in his sleep] I didn't cum in you, Pete, I swear.

Jay: she's the slut! bong.

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Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (2001)

Silent Bob: THE SIGN, ON THE BACK OF THE CAR, said 'Critters of HOLLYWOOD.' You DUMB FUCK!

Jay (singing, deleted scene): I'm gonna finger, bang her tight little asshole, finger bang -- tea bag my balls, in her mouth. Where, where? In her mouth. Balls of plenty, in her mouth. Balls, balls, sweaty balls.

Jay (deleted scene): Alright, well first I want you to tongue my bung while you juggle my balls in one hand and play with my asshole with the other. But don't stick your finger in. Then I wanna pinky you while I stick it in your fuckin' friend's brown, while Silent Bob watches and fuckin' spanks in a dixie cup. After that I wanna smell your titties for awhile. And you can pull my nutsack up over my dick so it looks like a bullfrog. Then I wantchu to fuckin' flick my nuts while your friend spanks me off in the same dixie cup Silent Bob jizzed in. Then we throw the dixie cup out.

Pumpkin Escobar: I don't know what the fuck you just said, little man, but you touch a brother's heart

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Attributed

How lame do you have to be to spend your time like that on the Internet? Can't you do something more constructive, like surf the porn? Or go into the real world and interact with people rather than cyber-sniping.

I think I'm gonna finish up the stuff I've already committed to and then take a little break, 'cuz I just don't want people to get tired of me.

If I had any balls whatsoever, I'd make nothing but Jay and Silent Bob flicks for the rest of my life. However, being a critical whore, I've gotta move on and 'grow' beyond those characters.

It's incredibly flattering, and really ironic. I grew up quoting Fletch and Raising Arizona, and now people quote the flicks I've done back to me. Weird, but nice.

Long time no see. I only pray the caliber of your questions has improved.

Now you've gotta spend two thousand bucks to stay at my house. And for five, I'll let you photograph my wife in the shower.

On one hand I'll stand up there and think I'm a pretty good storyteller but it has everything to do with the audience. Invariably, I get people telling me that I should do stand-up. Stand-ups generate their own material, but I'm up there answering questions and they lob me softballs.

Read the comics, which are probably far better than the film would be if I was involved. Otherwise, my version of Batman would be like him standing around talking for two weeks and not getting anything done. The Bat-A-Rang would never leave the utility belt. It would just be chatting.

Sometimes the path you are on is not as important as the direction you are heading. For, no matter if you take the Holland Tunnel or the George Washington Bridge you get to New Jersey, so long as you are heading west. The procedure involved in your path to Nirvana may meander, but a road worth traveling is will have its twists and turns.

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