Kin Hubbard
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Frank McKinney Hubbard (1 September 1868 - 26 December 1930) American cartoonist, humorist, and journalist.
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Sourced:
- We’d all like t’vote fer th’best man, but he’s never a candidate.
- The Best of Kin Hubbard (1984) Variant: We'd all like to vote for the best man but he's never a candidate.
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Attributed:
- A bee is never as busy as it seems; it's just that it can't buzz any slower.
- A good listener is usually thinking about something else.
- A loafer always has the correct time.
- About the only thing we have left that actually discriminates in favor of the plain people is the stork.
- All the world loves a good loser.
- An optimist is a fellow who believes what's going to be will be postponed.
- Bargain... anything a customer thinks a store is losing money on.
- Beauty is only skin deep, but it's a valuable asset if you're poor or haven't any sense.
- Being an optimist after you've got everything you want doesn't count.
- Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men.
- Classical music is the kind we keep thinking will turn into a tune.
- Don't knock the weather; nine-tenths of the people couldn't start a conversation if it didn't change once in a while.
- Variant: Don't knock the weather. If it didn't change once in a while, nine out of ten people couldn't start a conversation.
- Every once in a while someone without a single bad habit gets caught.
- Flattery won’t hurt you if you don’t swallow it.
- Getting talked about is one of the penalties for being pretty, while being above suspicion is about the only compensation for being homely.
- If some people didn't tell you, you'd never know they'd been away on a vacation.
- If there's anything a public servant hates to do it's something for the public.
- If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest.
- It ain't a bad plan to keep still occasionally even when you know what you're talking about.
- It is pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed.
- It isn't enough for you to love money— it's also necessary that money should love you.
- It's going to be fun to watch and see how long the meek can keep the earth after they inherit it.
- It's no disgrace to be poor, but it might as well be.
- It's pretty hard to be efficient without being obnoxious.
- It's the good loser who finally loses out.
- Kindness goes a long ways lots of times when it ought to stay at home.
- Laugh and the world laughs with you. Weep an' it keeps on laughin'.
- Live so that you can at least get the benefit of the doubt.
- Men are not punished for their for sins, but by them.
- No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish.
- No woman can be handsome by the force of features alone, any more that she can be witty by only the help of speech.
- Nobody can be as agreeable as an uninvited guest.
- Nobody ever forgets where he buried the hatchet.
- Nobody ever grew despondent looking for trouble.
- Nobody kicks on being interrupted if it's by applause.
- Nothing is as irritating as the fellow who chats pleasantly while he's overcharging you.
- Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature.
- Some fellows get credit for being conservative when they are only stupid.
- Some fellows pay a compliment like they expected a receipt.
- Some folks can look so busy doing nothing that they seem indispensable.
- The fellow that agrees with everything you say is either a fool or he is getting ready to skin you.
- The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store.
- The hardest thing is to take less when you can get more.
- The height of ability consists in a thorough knowledge of the real value of things, and of the genius of the age in which we live.
- The only way to entertain some folks is to listen to them.
- The safest way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.
- The world gets better every day— then worse again in the evening.
- There is no failure except in no longer trying. There is no defeat except from within, no really insurmountable barrier save our own inherent weakness of purpose.
- There's no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn't tell you about it?
- Universal peace sounds ridiculous to the head of an average family.
- We become actors without realizing it, and actors without wanting to.
- When a fellow says, "It ain't the money but the principle of the thing," it's the money.
- Why doesn't the fellow who says "I'm no speechmaker" let it go at that instead of giving a demonstration?
- You won't skid if you stay in a rut.
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Quotes by others about Kin Hubbard:
- Kin Hubbard is dead. To us folks that attempt to write a little humor his death is just like Edison's would be to the world of invention. No man in our generation was within a mile of him, and I am so glad that I didn't wait for him to go to send flowers. I have said it from the stage and in print for twenty years. Just think— only two lines a day, yet he expressed more original philosophy in 'em than all the rest of the paper combined. What a kick Twain and all that gang will get out of Kin.
- Will Rogers in The New York Times (December 27, 1930)
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