Larry the Cable Guy
Larry the Cable Guy is a comedian.
- Git 'r done.
- Lord, I apologize for that one there, and please be with all the starving Pygmies down there in New Guinea!
- I don't care who you are that's funny right there.
- What the hell is this, Russia?
- That's Right.
- Do you believe that?
- My sister is covered in moles. We used to just call her "Moley." Then she went down to the church and got herself saved. Now we call her "Holy Moley."
- I believe the crippled stool is the Caddilac of the poopin' stools.
- How'd you get tickets to the Tampon 400?
- Well, I pulled some strings...
- Let me ask some of these commie rag head carpet flying wicker basket on the head balancing scumbags something! Why do you hate us?
- Remember when she had Tom Selleck on her program a while back? She blind-sided Tom Selleck! He's a good fella, ain't never hurt nobody, but he's in the NRA, so she hates that. She was like, 'Well, you're in the NRA. Let me tell you something, Tom: guns kill people!' Do you believe she said that? On the Rosie O'Fat*ss show! She looks right at him and says, 'Guns kill people!' Let me tell you something: husbands that come home early kill people! Alright? The gun was just sitting there! If guns kill people, I can blame misspelled words on my pencil! Git-r-done!
- I once knew a gal named Vivian Welkner and she was a good friend and I thought she needed to know, well, I love her.