MADtv
From BillionQuotes
Bryan Callen
David Herman
Orlando Jones
Phil LaMarr
Artie Lange
Mary Scheer
Nicole Sullivan
"Is this one of those times when i've gone too far?"(when, in a skit, in addition to getting to know that she had acted in a porn movie and done drugs, she was a 'guy' in high school, her co-stars walk away from the set;which was, apparently the exact replica of her room) Antonia: "Anythings possible"
Debra Wilson
Alex Borstein
As Miss Swann. He looka like a man.
As Miss Swann - "Oh yeah man someone want to die tonigh' an his name i'... uhh... whas you name?
As Miss Swann - "I'm Bunny Swann. You know, Bunny the vampire slayoh."
As Miss Swann - "Oh t'is candy taste likea Alpo"
Store Owner - "Miss, it's marzipan. It's a fancy French candy."
As Miss Swann - "Poopie tase' bettah tan dis."
As Miss Swan: "Okay I tell you everythang'"
Lisa Kushell
Will Sasso
Aries Spears
Andrew Bowen
Mo Collins
Michael McDonald
Stuart: People who whine, grow up to be democrats" Stuart: Let me do it. Stuart: Boys who are vein turn out to be gay. Stuart: I don't want to say. Stuart: LOOK WHAT I CAN DO!!
Brooke Totman
AS Steward "mommy says smokings for europeans and white trash: "Mommy says dont talk to stangers except lesbians because they take good care of their cats and have a 'go getter' attitude"
Christian Duguay
Andrew Daly
Dannah Feinglass
Jeff Richards
Stephnie Weir
as Gale Cinder: "Well backstage they told us not to disagree with you but... uh, yes I do have a family, 45 cats. No, I'm sorry. 42.. uh, cats. I just lost uh... "Boogieboard""
as Christy Brinkly: "That's as high as it will go John, WE NEED CLAMPS!"
"Fat is just skinny with an attitude!"
"Crazy is just sane on a lunch break!"
Frank Caliendo
as John Madden: "Here's a question for you, Christy Brinkly. What was it like when you married Billy Joel?"
as Arod Alronnie: "First, it's the Sony Sand Devil All-purpose Karaoke Machine!"
in a Strip Club in Jacksonville, Florida: (talking to Ike's mom on his cell phone) "He's in a Strip club!"
Bobby Lee
"Take a step into my daywoo"
"It's like...UH-OH HOT DOG!"
Kathryn Fiore
Taran Killam
Jill Michelle Meleán
Ike Barinholtz
at the American Idol top 12 Party: "Any other event and he'd be getting the [CENSORED] kicked out of him."
in a Strip Club in Jacksonville, Florida: (phone rings) "Hello? ... Hi, Mom! ... Yeah, I'm in church! ... Yeah, It's a great church. (above) ... No, no, Mom, Itzzzzzza, Prank Caller!"
as a singer on "The Price Better Be Right or the Streets Will Run Red With Your Blood":
"Get the ladies, sing this song, Do da! Do da! Death to America all day long! All the do da day! [laughter]"
Simon Helberg
Josh Meyers
Christina Moore
Ron Pederson
Paul Vogt
Daniele Gaither
Keegan-Michael Key
As the 'Musketel' dude with the shower cap at the movie premeire: It was pandamonium 2004! It was crazy! Crazy as hell!
Nicole Parker
Melissa Paull
Jordan Peele
Gillian Vigman
Crista Flanagan
Spencer Kayden
Steven Cragg
"I put a hidden camera in my bedroom to film me and my wife having sex"
"Hey, I have a question, who the [CENSORED] is Rodney Carrington?!?"
"...And one of the following statements is true.
A. I created Seinfeld.
B. I have a huge penis.
or C. I'm a writer for MADtv."
(to a bleeding woman)"SHUT YOUR FAT MOUTH!" 3X
(to his wife) "All right, I'll turn it off, I'll turn it off (without turning the camera off, he says:) There, I turned it off."
