Radio Active
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HeeBeeGeeBee show
Boiled Egg
Nigel: Well, I'm in the kitchen of Mr Roy Ferris...
Roy: Hello.
Nigel: Ya, hello, Roy, ... who's been keeping pretty secret about what he's cooking here. Roy, you're gonna tell us about the secret recipe of yours?
Roy: ... No... it's a secret.
(Audience laugh)
Nigel: But you're going to tell us about it, aren't you?
Roy: yea, that's just a joke anyway. ... First of all, you take about a pint of water, and you pour it into a saucepan.
Nigel: And what do u do then?
Roy: Then you put it on the stove, and you boil the water.
Nigel: Right. So the ingredients so far....
Roy: Er.. the ingredients so far are about a pint of water, a saucepan, and some...warm...er..hee...
Nigel: Heat
Roy: Heat! That's right.
Nigel: So, er, what then?
Roy: So when the water is boiling nicely, you take an egg...
Nigel: An egg
Roy: And you drop it in.
Nigel: Into the water?
Roy: Yup, that's right. Into the water. That's correct. That's absolutely vital by the way. And you leave it there for about 3 to 4 minutes until it's done.
Nigel: I see.
...
Roy: See, perfect.
Nigel: That's it, is it?
Roy: Yup, that's simple like that.
Nigel: This is in fact a boiled egg, isn't it?
Roy: Pardon?
Nigel: This is what I would call a boiled egg.
Roy: Hah no no. This is what I would call "oeuf bouilli".
(Audience laugh)
Nigel: In English?
Roy: A boiled egg.
(Audience laugh)
Nigel: So... you'll simply crack the egg, peel and eat it. Is that right?
Roy: Hah hah.. no. I'll drink it.
Nigel: You'll drink the egg?
Roy: No no no. I'll drink the boiled water, stupid! (Audience laugh)... You don't wanna eat the egg. You throw it out away. You don't wanna eat that.
Nigel: Why not?
Roy: Oh, that's come out of a hen's bum.
(Audience laugh)
Probe The Back show
Problem Phone-in
Mike: The first caller is already through. Hello, how can we help?
Caller #1: Hello, Graham?
Mike: Er... no, Mike Channel here.
Caller #1: Er... can I speak to Graham please?
Mike: Er.. this is Mike Channel here, and the Radio Active doctor here looking at some of your problems. And you're on the air right now.
Caller #1: Oh... Can you give Graham a message then?
(Audience laugh)
Mike: Right. Er... Thanks for your call. Let's move on to someone else. Next on the line is Peter Barbary. Okay. Go ahead Peter.
Caller #2 (Peter): Right. Er... Is Graham there?
(Audience laugh)
Mike: (surprised) What?!
Caller #2 : Sorry, Graham?
Mike: This is Mike Channel on Radio Active.
Caller #2 : Yup, could I leave a message for him?
Mike: I'm afraid that there's no Graham here. Er... clearly seem to be getting some cross-lines here. So let's take our final call before break. And let's hope someone if we can help on Radio Active's problem phone-in. Hello?
Caller #3: Hello.
Mike: How can we help?
Caller #3: It's Graham here. Any messages for me?
(Audience laugh)
Round Your Parts show
Mike Channel Just Arrived
( Radio Active theme music fades out.)
Mike Flex: Today, we've come down here for 27 minutes to for the little village of Hampingham. Isn't that right, Anna?
Anna: Yes, Mike. And I know that Uncle Mike, Nigel, and myself, Mike Channel's unable to be with us today, are going to have a wonderful day, getting to know the people and asking them for a few requests.
( Car approaching with brake...)
Mike Channel: (Saying to the driver) Thank you.
( Mike Channel gets off the car, and slumps the door. Then, the car leaves. )
Mike Flex: And here, in fact, is the old man of the air waves, Mike Channel.
Anna: Who seems have found his way here. Hi Mike!
Mike Flex: Hi Mike.
Mike Channel: Hello Anna, ..., Michael.
Mike Flex: Well, what a surprise.
Anna: Good to see you.
Mike Channel: Yes, I thought at least I could do. The station appeared to be completely shut up when I arrived this morning.
( Audience laugh. )
Mike Flex: Well, that's right, Mike, because today, of course, it's all rather lovely because we're in the village of Hampingham.
Mike Channel: Yes, it would be rather lovely to be told. ( ... audience laugh...) I have to listen to the radio to find out where you were.
( Audience laugh. )
Mike Flex: Hah hah, super.
Anna: Great.
Mike Channel: Nine lifts it took.
( Audience laugh. )
( Radio Active loves Hampingham jingle...)
