Raising Arizona
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H.I. McDunnough
- I tried to stand up and fly straight, but it wasn't easy with that sumbitch Reagan in the White House. I dunno. They say he's a decent man, so maybe his advisors are confused.
- And the doc went on to explain that this woman, who looked as fertile as the Tennessee Valley, could bear no young. Her insides were a rocky place where my seed could find no purchase.
- There's what's right, and there's what's right, and never the twain shall meet.
- I'll be taking these Huggies and whatever cash ya got.
- That son'bitch. That son of a bitch! You son of a bitch!
- And make it quick, I'm in dutch with the wife.
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Edwina 'Ed' McDunnough
- My fie-ance left me!
- Now mind his li'l fontanelle!
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Gale Snoats
- We released ourselves on our own recognizance.
- H.I., you're young and you got your health, what you want with a job?
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Nathan Arizona Sr.
- Well, this is nothing but a goddamn shakedown and a screwjob, any way you look at it!
- And if a frog had wings he wouldn't bump his ass a-hoppin'.
- I don't know what his damn jammies looked like... they had Yodas and shit on them.
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Glen
- I said, "Healthy white baby? Five years? What else you got?" Said they got two Koreans and a negra born with his heart on the outside. It's a crazy world.
- Now you take that diaper off your head and you put it back on your sister!
- Say, did you hear about the person of the Polish persuasion who walked into a bar with a big 'ol pile of shit in his hands and he says, "Look what I almost stepped in"?
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Others
- (doctor) Why do you say you feel "trapped" in a man's body.
- (convict) Well, sometimes I get them menstrual cramps real hard.
- (Lone Biker ) You want to find an outlaw, hire an outlaw. You want to find a Dunkin' Donuts, call a cop.
- (Teller) Now, what's it gonna be young feller? You want I should freeze or get down on the ground? 'Cause if'n I freeze, I can't rightly drop. And if'n I drop, I'm gonna be in motion.
- (convict) ...and when there was no meat, we ate fowl and when there was no fowl, we ate crawdad and when there was no crawdad to be found, we ate sand.
- (H.I) You ate What?
- (convict) We ate sand.
- (Old man in pickup truck) Son, you got a panty on your head.
(other quotes)
- Anyone found bipedal in five wears his ass for a hat!
- You got a table and chairs, you gotta dinette set. You gotta table and no chairs, you got dick.
- Ya hear that? We're usin codenames.
- Do these blow up into funny shapes?
- No, not unless round is funny.
- The guvmint do take a bite, don't she?
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