Ratchet & Clank series
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Ratchet & Clank is a video game series for the PlayStation 2. The games are 3D platformers developed by Insomniac Games and published by Sony.
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Ratchet & Clank
- Plumber: Dadblast it!
Ratchet (to Clank): Look, plumber's crack!
Plumber: What did you just say?
Ratchet: I said "Look, the plumber's back!"
- Plumber [Gives Ratchet infobot and jumps down sewer pipe]: Geronimo!
Ratchet (to Clank): Did he just slide down a sewer pipe?
- Ratchet: If I can get that I can get past those robot guards.
Clank: Robots are not so easily fooled.
Ratchet: Ahh! What's that?
Clank: What? [Looking over to where Ratchet's pointing to see nothing]
Ratchet: Uh huh...
- Captain Qwark[During dogfight with Ratchet]: You couldn't hit the broad side of my fitness trainer.
- Clank [After defeating Captain Qwark's Snagglebeast]: I wonder what that infobot is for?
Ratchet: Maybe it can replace you
- Gadgetron has showrooms located on every inhabited planet in the galaxy. Even one on the uninhabited swamp planet of Bogia 4. We don't know exactly how that one got there. Engineering blames marketing, marketing blames legal, and legal has been at a 'conference' on planet Bahamia for six months and they don't return our calls.
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Ratchet & Clank: Going Commando
- Interviewer: Welcome back to "Behind the Hero", tonight's heroes are the duo who recently restored peace and order to our galaxy: Ratchet & Clank. So gentlemen, tell us about your latest incredible adventures.
Ratchet: Well as you can image, we've been pretty busy: After Drek's defeat there were parades, press conferences, fancy dress balls...
Clank: ...and the wiener roast at Al's.
Ratchet: Oh yeah that. And then, things started to slow down a bit. After that we... well...
Clank: There was the grand opening at "Groovy Lube".
Ratchet: Right. I think that was, last week.
Clank: Six months ago.
Ratchet: We're still pretty busy, but in a more, uh, domestic sense.
Clank: Yesterday, I flushed out my radiator core.
Ratchet: I guess... no one needs a hero right now.
- Thug Leader: MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Ratchet: What's so funny?
Thug Leader: Nothing, I guess...PREPARE TO DIE!
- Thug Leader: [While battling Ratchet in Megapolis] This is going to hurt you a LOT more than it's going to hurt me.
- Thief: [Dramatically] Leave this galaxy, or THIS will happen to you! [hits button, nothing happens] [Less Confidently] Or this will happen to you? [hits other button, short-circuits Clank]
- Ratchet: Clank don't... uh... move, I'm coming down! [Theif comes from behind and pushes him]
Ratchet: Son of a Qwark!
- [Angela ducks down to not be seen by Thug Leader but sneezes]
Thug Leader: Who's there?
Angela: Meow,
Thug Leader: Awww...
- [Thug Leader talks on phone]
Thug Leader: Thugs-4-less, how may we help you?... Hey what kind of scum do you think we are?... Ooh that is a lot of bolts!
- Thug Leader: This message is for all Thugs-4-Less personel we've had a little change in plan. We have been hired to protect the C.E.O of Megacorp [holds up vid-screen with picture of Mr. Fizzwidget] who's a little cookoo in his old age and I want you to keep an eye out for these two [picture changes to Ratchet and Clank] I'm giving a free Pizza party for the guys that bag 'em. And remember that includes drinks and dessert!
- Ratchet: [to little robots, with appropriate mime] Have you seen any masked weirdoes?
- Gadgetron Matron: [breaks wind] Whoops! Sounds like I just blew another vacuum tube!
Ratchet: Should I take a look?
Gadgetron Matron: My word! You young people are so fresh these days!
- Thugs-4-Less Boss: Megacorp is up to no good. I will confront them at once and demand... a bigger cut of the action.
- Clank: [waking up from his electricity-induced coma] The final digit of pi is...
- The Unknown Thief: I see it's time to update my security forces.
Ratchet: Woa-hoho, no, hey, no, no, look, I'm just here to fix the... trans... flux-er-coil.
The Thief: Nice try. Give my regards to Megacorp.
- Announcer: Ask yourself, are you man enough, hero enough, insane enough to step into the ring with two of the fiercest warriors in the galaxy? If you answered'yes' you're a big fat liar.
- Voice-over: Dr James D. Fullbladder reporting on Megacorp experiment number 13. This update is strictly classified, if you are watching this, you're fired.
- Galactic Greetings Voice: Hello.
Angela: Ratchet and Clank.
Galactic Greetings Voice: You lucky devil!
Angela: Angela Cross
Galactic Greetings Voice: Has just sent you: a galactic greeting!
Angela: Guys! If you get this message, please meet me on my home world. Just so you know, I've found my old ID badge. I'm pretty sure we can still use it to infiltrate Megacorp HQ, but you're gonna have to hurry before the Protopets completely overrun us! Oh, and sorry for the ballon-a-gram, it was the only thing I could get of this b...
[is cut off]
Galactic Greetings Voice: We hope you enjoyed your galactic greeting!
- [Angela just shows Ratchet a vid-screen about the Megacorp factory]
Angela: And this will get you in [hands Clank a card]
Clank: A 20% discount at Groovy Lube?
Angela: Ooooops! Wrong one.
- [Protopet Comercial]
Anouncer: Why is Billy Sad?
[Billy cries]
Anouncer: Is he cold? Hungry? Or Maybe just...
[The Protopet comes closer to Billy]
Billy: No-no-no take it away! Take it away!
Anouncer: ...lonely! Intoducing the Megacorp Protopet. Wanna play ball?
[Billy throws the ball at the Protopet, only to have it thrown back at him with twice the force]
Anouncer: So does the Protopet. Need a partner for tag?
[Protopet starts to chase Billy who is screaming in fear]
Anouncer: Go find the Protopet. Up for some Cops n' Robbers?
[Protopet pins down Billy]
Billy: HELP POLICE!!
Anouncer: So does you know who. Go to Planet Boldan to get your -FREE- Protopet from Ambercrombie Fizzwidget himself
[Comercial ends]
Ratchet: That thing is going to be a PET?
Clank: Megacorp is going to market a KILLER! That is so UNCONSCIONABLE!
- Ratchet: Did you see that?
Clank: Yes Angela figured out the answer to stopping the Protopet.
Ratchet: And?
Clank: She does a terrible cat impression?
Ratchet: and we have to rescue her from the thugs!
Clank: Yes, we must get that answer!
Ratchet: AND WE HAVE TO PROTECT HER!
Clank: O-o-okay,
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Ratchet & Clank: Up Your Arsenal
- Ratchet: A VG9000?
Sasha: Of course. With a Mavix fireball pro controller, VR headset and a 0G dancepad attatchment.
Ratchet: Will you marry me?
- Ratchet[Going back on Annihilation Nation]: Another day, another death-course...
- Annihilation Nation Announcer: Note to self: never mess with a trigger-happy lombax.
- Klunk[after destroying Courtney Gears]: One disposable pop star...disposed!
- Ship Announcer[After Nefarious presses button]: Self-Destruct sequence initiated. Prepare to die.
- Biobliterator Announcer[After defeating Nefarious]: 60 seconds till core implosion.
Nefarious: Lawrence, teleport us out of here.
Lawrence: Would you care to specify a destination sir?
Nefarious: Oh anywhere!
Biobliterator Announcer: Times up!
Nefarious: What? That wasn't even close to 60 seconds!
Biobliterator Announcer: Bye-bye!
Biobliterator: [Explodes]
- Courtney Gears[music video]:
I see a future and what do I see?
Robots going crazy 'cross the galaxy.
Can't stand organics, they're soft and squishy.
The time is now, we robots must be free!
You want to be free? Than shout with me! Yeah!
This goes out to all you robots 'cross the galaxy.
It's time for you and me to rise up and strike back.
Don't stop until we dominate
Won't you feel great?
When we exterminate
All organic life!
- [Skrunch grunts]
Captain Qwark: I thought we agreed to put that jungle business behind us.
[Skrunch grunts]
Captain Qwark: It was mating season, how was I supposed to know she was your sister,
[Sees Ratchet and Clank]
Captain Qwark:Errr... how long have you two been standing there?
Clank: Too long.
- Dr. Nefarious: Did you hear that, Lawrence?
Lawrence: You put the wit in twit, sir.
- Ratchet: Skidd? What are you doing here?
Skidd McMarxx: My codename is Shadow Dude bro. Black Ops are my speciality. I figured you guys could use my help.
Ratchet: Err... thanks Shadow Dude but I think we've got this one covered.
Skidd McMarxx: All right... I'll just take my Hacker and go back to ship.
Ratchet: Hacker! Oh well you know on second thoughts, we'd like you to join the mission Shadow Dude.
Skidd McMarxx: Awesome... this is gonna be sick!
- Helga: Oh, the little man is cocky now. Perhaps you'd like to meet Helga on the wrestling mat. Let's see how cocky you are, twisted up like a wet noodle.
Ratchet: Maybe next time.
Helga: Hah! Pansies.
- Ratchet: Hey, there's Dr. Nefarious. And that butler guy. And they've got Clank. Hey, how about that, they're holding you prisoner...
[pause]
I guess I should be feeling pretty stupid right now. I don't suppose there's any chance he's the evil Clank?
[Klunk giggles]
Ratchet: Didn't think so.
- Ratchet: Uhh... hi, there, Skidd. Is Sasha there?
Skidd McMarxx: Sasha and Qwark are meeting up with the president, they left me in charge!
Ratchet: And Al?
Skidd McMarxx: He's out for lunch.
Ratchet: Helga?
Skidd McMarxx: In the sauna!
Clank: Qwark's monkey, perhaps?
- Klunk: [while the president holds a speech about Capt. Qwark] What a load of bull... [Ratchet hits him]
- Ratchet: Hey, it's Al! Got the shields up yet?
Big Al: Silence! I am concentrating!
Ratchet: What the... that's a Qwark vid-comic!
Big Al: Excuse me... it is a historically accurate interactive graphic novel.
Ratchet: How can you use the city's defense network to play a video game?
Big Al: Simple. I bypass the security server with a 626 hack matrix adaptor and reprocess the graphic subprocessor.
Ratchet: No, I mean...
[sighs]
Ratchet: Clank... you speak nerd.
- Ratchet: We can't go without Qwark! He would have waited for us... I think.
Klunk: Good for him.
- Comic Narrator: These are the real life adventure of Captain Qwark, the greatest superhero the galaxy has ever known.
Captain Qwark: Hey... is this thing on?
Comic Narrator: Ahem... Meticulously reconscructed with the aid of eyewitness accounts, bathroom gossip, wild speculations... and a magic eight-ball
- Clank: It seems this music video has been edited.
Ratchet: Oh! Let's watch it! I... uh... mean it...uh might be a clue.
- [Ratchet wins the fight for the Tyhrraguise and turns it on]
Annihilation Nation Announcer: Hey he does look better
[Sasha pops up on the vid-screen]
Sasha: Ah!
Clank: Do not fear it is just Ratchet
Sasha: Oh, I see you won the Tyhrraguise
- [Clank hacks a file in Nefarious's base while Ratchet looks around the room; Ratchet pulls out a file]
Ratchet:Wow, the whole series of Secret Agent Clank. This guy must be you're biggest fan.
[Clank turns the chair around to see the file]
Clank: I find that oddly disturbing.
- [Ratchet, Clank and the Q-Force finish watching Qwark's new plan]
Ratchet: So... while I'm getting blasted, what will everyone else be doing?
Qwark:We will be, uh, monitering the situation.
[Leans in to whisper to Helga]
Qwark:(whispers) Actually we will be going to the cafeteria. It's Meatloaf day!
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Ratchet: Deadlocked
- Dallas: Since I don't have much time left, I'd just like to apologize to a few people. Timmy Aberdeen, I was the one who lit your backpack on fire, and I'm sorry that you couldn't get it off in time.
Susie Binkleton, I was the one who put the Tyhranoid in your locker. Hey but I hear the therapy is going good.
And finally to you Juanita, my dear, sweet Juanita. I'm sorry for six years of rude jokes, harassing innuendo, and those friendly little pinches in the elevator. But who am I kidding you you love it!
- Vox: Greetings, hero, and welcome to Dreadzone. Rest assured, you are now far out of the reach of hope. There will be no rescues, no pardons, no possibility of escape. You are now a contestant on the greatest holo-vision program the galaxy has ever known. Chances are you'll be dead by tomorrow, but those of you who play the game with skill and strategy will earn a chance to win your freedom.
- Vox[commercial]: IT'S TIME TO BLOW [beep] UP!!!
- Vox[over PA system]: Intense gamma radiation has been detected in the containment area. If you reside next to or near Uranium Man, you will soon die.
- Vox[over PA system]: For everyone to enjoy it, please keep the interplanetary transport as clean as possible. After all, your mother does not work here...oh, except for you, Captain Nightingale.
- Vox: But someone disabled the shields' power supply! [Vox hugs Slugga, with a sad look on his face] Who would do such a horrible thing to the poor people of Stygia? [throws Slugga onto the wall behind him, shows evil grin] I don't know, but it sure makes up for good reality H.V!
- Vox: Stay tuned for the hottest episode of Dreadzone yet. And if you live on Stygia, the last one! HAHAHAHAHAAA!!!
- Green[While flying a hovership]: Sir, um... I'm seeing parts of this fly off that we, uh, kinda need.
- Green: Zombies, dead ahead! Er, no pun intended sir.
- Merc: Hey Green, that zombie looks like your momma!
- Merc: [on grindrail] I guess this is a bad time to say I'm afraid of heights...
- Merc: Aw, I see an itty bitty turret. Boss, can I blow it up? Pretty please?
- Merc: Hey, Boss. When this is all over, I wanna do it again. And again.
- Merc: Hey, What did you do to that VG9000 I was playing?
Al: I figured we needed space for more useful things. Plus, you were getting too near my high score in Ozaark's Revenge.
- Merc: [after getting to the top of the Valix beacon] It's so bright! It's like a light bulb but so much brighter! Uhhh...I'm not good with words.
- Merc: [voiceover in multiplayer] Gravity boots are our way of saying "Screw you, Nature." You can walk magnetic walls and ceilings, you can even scare your momma. I don't care!
- Merc: Boss, if you miss that swingshot target, you will suffer a horrible, painful death. No pressure, though.
- Al: I got them off of a contestant who.... um.... won't be needing them any more.
Merc: Don't worry boss, you won't end up like that last guy.
Green: I hope not.... I still have nightmares about it.
- Ranking Machine: Does it bother you that you are shorter than most heroes?
- Ranking Machine: My circuits can no longer process stats of this magnitude.
- Ranking Machine: I am surprised you are still alive.
- Ranking Machine: If you believe there is an error in your score, please realize you are not that good.
- Ranking Machine: Your heroic presence rattles my friction sensors
- Ranking Machine: Attention: Something small and furry has walked into the ranking station. Oh, it's you Ratchet.
- Ratchet[speech unit turned on]: -et me out of this you blarg-headed frak monkey! I can barely breathe and my tail is shoved right up my- [speech unit turned off]
- Dallas: [after Ratchet activates beacon] Ladies and gentlemen, I am beside myself, and boy do I look good!
- Dallas: See, this is what they mean by gratuitous violence, Juanita. I'm going to call my kids and tell them to stop watching! ...Just as soon as I have kids.
- Juanita: I cant look, is Team Darkstar dead? Dallas...? DALLAS?!? WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?
Dallas: Nothing, just keep your eyes closed... [slap] OW!
- Dallas: This is more fun than a bus-load of cheerleaders!
- Dallas: They have to traverse what I like to call the pit of endless falling and eventual dieing! Good luck kids.
- Dallas: In this challenge, Team Darkstar needs to grind a cable positioned hundreds of feet above the water! Is this even safe? OF COURSE NOT! THIS IS DREADZONE,BABY!
- Dallas: Ratchet is kicking some proverbial butt. By proverbial, I mean.... I don't know what I mean.
Merc: It means were unstoppable.
- Dallas: Oh, this could be disaster for Team Darkstar! I put 500 bolts on this match!
Juanita: Dallas OUR LIVES are AT RISK and YOU'RE GAMBLING??!??
Dallas: Oh Juanita don't act like you care, YOU NEVER CARE!!!!!!!! OOHHH YEAH THERE IT IS. I POPPED A BLOOD VESSEL!!!
- Dallas: And they're gonna be squashed like a pancake... with butter... and jam. Oh no! Say, can I have breakfast for dinner or is that just weird?
- Dallas: And Ratchet is exterminating with extreme prejudice! I'm sure glad we're all out of range, eh, Juanita? Uh... we are out of range, right?
- Dallas: Just a reminder everyone. Tomorrow is kick your best friend in the pants day! Free popcorn for all who participate.
- Dallas: This guy's gonna get us a lot of commercial time, Juanita. Let's just hope we don't have any more wardrobe malfunctions!
- Dallas: Team Darkstar is making their mark in Dreadzone! Team Markstar is making their dark in Redzone! Oh, dear, I've gone cross-eyed...
- Juanita: The mood is... positively... uh, positivly electric, as the audience braces to find out whether they would survive...The next ten minutes."
- Dallas: [In the Dark Cathedril of Kronos]It's cold, it's dank, it's scary it's just like my ex-wife!
- Dallas: Interesting fact folks, DreadZone started over two guys fighting over a breakfast burrito, and the rest is history!
- Dallas: Ratchet's about to bite the bag and step out the door. That means die.
- Dallas: Hey, don't scratch the paint on that Puma. We're giving it away on Bingo night!
- Clank: Excellent work Team Darkstar.
Merc: Ya can't stop a leatherneck, we adapt and survive.
- Dallas: If Ratchet was a tough cookie, what kind of cookie would he be? I'm gonna have to go with "snickerdoodle".
- Dallas: Have you ever wondered what's in the special sauce?
- [Ratchet, Merc, and Green arive on Orxon]
Green: If I may speak freely boss, this place stinks.
- [While Ratchet's fighting Vox]
Vox: We'll see you in the re-runs.
- [While Ratchet's fighting Vox]
Vox: I love my job, when I don't like someone, I can just do this!
[blasts Ratchet]
- Dallas: I don't know what you heard, I always believed in Ratchet. [After slandering him for the entire game]
