Simon Cowell

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Simon Philip Cowell (born October 7, 1959 in Brighton, England) is a British A&R (artist and repertoire) executive for BMG Records, but is probably best known as a judge on the television programs Pop Idol and American Idol. Cowell is notorious for his uncompromisingly harsh and occasionally controversial criticism of Pop Idol and American Idol contestants.

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  • Sinitta and Jackie are my family now. I don't think of them as ex-girlfriends anymore. They are an extension of my life...It must be infuriating but I'd never change because my ex-girlfriends are so close I couldn't imagine life without them.
    • From mirror.co.uk interview, 22 October, 2005, on whether Simon's girlfriend, Terri, cared that Sinnita appeared on his show, The X-Factor, in a bikini.
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Attributed

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To Idol contestants

  • At five seasons, I think, potentially, you are the best male vocalist we've ever had.
  • Did you really believe you could become the American Idol? Well, then, you're deaf.
  • I don't think you're the best singer, but you're interesting. I kind of prefer you to last year's winner, actually.
  • I never want to hear that song again. I cannot stand it. I'm allergic to it.
  • I think that by ignoring the show you're ignoring the audience who put you there.
  • I think it was a complete and utter mess. It didn't work — it was all over the place. You were forgetting your words. I mean, it was "We Will Rock You Gently". I really, really, really hated that.
  • I think he knows how to articulate something that people are entertained by and still be true to the message he's trying to send, ... very aware of himself.
  • I think you're going to be a very successful model. And it's best to be great at something rather than not so good at something.
  • I think you just booked your plane ticket home.
  • I thought the song was boring. It is "American Idol" and you've got to be as broad as possible.
  • If your lifeguard duties were as good as your singing, a lot of people would be drowning.
  • In my opinion, this was your best performance so far.
  • It's a lesson learned. You have to stand out from the crowd. You didn't stand out from the crowd, simple as that.
  • It's everything I love about reality shows, which is the good, the weird and the completely and utterly disillusioned.
  • My advice would be if you want to pursue a career in the music business, don't.
  • Shave off your beard and wear a dress. You would be a great female impersonator.
  • That was terrible, I mean, just awful. You have to have a talent to progress it. I don't believe Cassandra has a singing talent. She's completely wasting her money. Sorry.
  • This is a singing competition, not a dancing competition!
  • This was the only performance which stands up in the real world — tonight you were the standard.
  • Why are you having a normal conversation with him? This is a dairy farmer dressed as a woman.
  • You and Latin music go together like chocolate ice cream and an onion.
  • You are a saucy little thing aren't you?
  • You are the worst singer in America.
  • You are the worst singer in New York.
  • You are the worst singer in the world.
  • You are the worst singer I've ever heard in my life.
  • You are what we call a naughty little minx.
  • You're useless, I'm bored - yes or no?
  • You can't sing; you can't dance; so what do you want me to say? (Towards William Hung)
  • You've got quite a good voice, the problem I have is this looks to me like 10 years ago.
  • You have just invented a new form of torture.
  • You singing is like ordering a ferocious guard dog for your home and getting delivered a poodle in a leather jacket instead.
  • You sung like you were on a dentist's chair.
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Dialogue

Cowell: You sing like the Spice Girls.
Contestant: Thanks.
Cowell: Unfortunately, that wasn't a compliment.
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Regarding his show and his conduct

  • I am happy that we have been able to sort out our differences and find an amicable solution to our problems.
  • I haven’t done anything particularly harsh. Harshness to me is giving somebody false hopes and not following through. That’s harsh. Telling some guy or some girl who’ve got zero talent that they have zero talent actually is a kindness.
  • I like the fact that they're cocky now from the age of four.
  • I think we've got better talent than last year. There are two or three contestants, even without the competition, we would take seriously as a record label. If I don't find an international artist this year, then I will have failed. That is the one thing that interests me.
  • I think you have to judge everything based on your personal taste. And if that means being critical, so be it. I hate political correctness. I absolutely loathe it.
  • If I said to most of the people who auditioned, "Good job, awesome, well done," it would have made me actually look and feel ridiculous. It's quite obvious most of the people who turned up for this audition were hopeless.
  • It is a personal thrill for me to play a role in giving the best young singers in America a shot at realizing their dreams. I'm also happy to be working with my good friend Simon Fuller for the foreseeable future and I look forward to continuing to be a part of the Fox network and the phenomenal success that is American Idol.
  • My attitude is, if someone's going to criticize me, tell me to my face. I find Paula patronizing. It's as simple as that. Paula is more damaging than I am to these contestants because a lot of people just shouldn't be singing for a living.
  • Not everybody is perfect, and I don't think we should be looking for perfect people.
  • Holly Valance sings fuckin' crap Yuk! I can't stand of her. Kiss Kiss, DownBoy, Naughty Girl and State of Mind are absolutely horrendous. I do not know who the hell releases these songs.
  • Ryan, with respect, I do this for a living. I don't play at it like you.
  • That process works very well, in that you've got a very clear A to Z path. But you've also got a sense of responsibility from the judges, who actually try to help the contestants.
  • The object of this competition is not to be mean to the losers but to find a winner. The process makes you mean because you get frustrated. Kids turn up unrehearsed, wearing the wrong clothes, singing out of tune and you can either say, "Good job," and patronize them or tell them the truth, and sometimes the truth is perceived as mean.
  • They all hate each other deep down, but they're not gonna say it on camera. Ask Kelly how many congratulation e-mails she got from the other contestants. Probably zero. But that's the music business. In a positive way, I like that. I like the fact that people enter the show because they might win.
  • What you're seeing on TV is faked because I'm trying to make it look like I like her. One of these days I might say what I really feel. Randy's okay, Paula's a pain in the ass. She's just one of those irritating people. I agree with some of what she says, I disagree with a hell of a lot of what she says. I keep my time with her to a minimum.

In response to Paula Abdul's suggestion that they should hold an "All Star" idol competition to find out who is truly the best singer in America:

  • I'm sure Kelly would love to participate in that.
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On other matters

  • Big Brother is not reality anymore. You don't get 10 normal people to do it. You get 10 crap actors in the house.
  • If you've got a big mouth and you're controversial, you're going to get attention.
  • I can't bear political correctness. I don't like a rule driven life and I hate the fact that you can't criticise a fat person.
  • I met someone the other night who's 28 years old, and he hasn't worked a day since he left college because he's pursuing a dream he'll never, ever realize: He thinks he's a great singer. Actually, he's crap. But nobody has said to him, "Why have you been wasting your time for eight years?"
  • The end of the animal trade would leave more time to trap or beat to death pop star wannabes.
  • We [the English] have hated the French for years. Now you have just joined the club. It makes you much more likable.
  • We told the judges that we would rather you were human about the approach rather than completely scientific, otherwise it turns into a gadget show. The show has a lot of similarities to Idol in that you can relate to the person coming into the room and form an opinion early on.
  • Women say hello and then put their hands down my trousers. I thought it was my hand they were supposed to shake.
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In fiction

  • I felt it, but I'm like "so what?" - on The Simpsons after being punched in the face by Homer.
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External links


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