Stargate Atlantis

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Stargate Atlantis is a science-fiction TV series that premiered on the US Sci Fi Channel on July 16, 2004.

Contents

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Season 1

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1x01 Rising, Part I

[refering to the Ancient chair]
Dr. Beckett: You don't understand, I break things like this!
Dr. McKay: This chair has survived for millions of years intact; it will survive you.
Gen. O'Neill: Let's skip to the part where you start talking really fast.
Maj. Sheppard: "Oh, come on! What are the odds of me having the same gene as these guys?"
[Major Sheppard sits down; the chair turns on.]
Dr. Beckett: "Quite slim, actually."
Maj. Sheppard: "I like Ferris wheels, Monday night football, and anything that goes more than 200 miles per hour."
[Everyone is admiring the newly discovered shield on the Stargate while power levels are dropping.]]
Dr. McKay: "Using power. Using power. Using power."
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1x02 Rising, Part 2

Lt. Ford: "Gateship One, ready to go."
Maj. Sheppard: "Gateship One? A little Puddle Jumper like this?"
Lt. Ford: "It's a ship, that goes through a gate. Gateship!"
Maj. Sheppard: "Oh no no no that's all wrong."
Lt. Ford: Dr McKay thought it was cool.
Maj. Sheppard: "Well, then it's official. You don't get to name anything ever."
Dr. McKay: "You really need to get out more."
Dr. Beckett: "We're in another galaxy. How much more out can you get?"
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1x03 Hide and Seek

Dr. Weir: "I'm still trying to understand how you thought it was a good idea to test this device by having someone throw you off a balcony."
Dr. McKay: "Oh, believe me, that's not the first thing we tried."
Maj. Sheppard: "I shot him." [Dr. Weir gives him a weird look] "In the leg!"
Dr. McKay: "I'm invulnerable!"
Dr. Weir: "Aren't you the one who's always spouting off about how proper and careful scientific procedure must be adhered to?"
Dr. McKay: "IN - VUL - NER - ABLE!"
[trying to explain what a 'Hail Mary' is to Teyla]
Maj. Sheppard: "It's the play you just saw. It's named after a prayer. There's this woman, her name was Mary, and she, uh...did I mention how much I like ferris wheels?"
Maj. Sheppard: "We're very...cautious intergalactic explorers."
Dr. Weir: "...and can we lose the 10,000 year-old dead plants?"
Dr. Beckett: "I AM manipulating your DNA. Here we go!"
Dr. McKay: "Well are there any side-effects?"
Dr. Beckett: "Dry mouth, headache, the irresistible urge to run on a small wheel."
Maj. Sheppard: "Aw, come on, it's real, it's unpredictable, it's full of passion and...beer, hot dogs..."
Dr. McKay: "...cheerleaders..."
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1x04 Thirty-Eight Minutes

Dr. Grodin: The Stargate transmits matter into discrete units... the front half of the ship cannot rematerialize till the whole ship is crossed into the event horizon. The Stargate is essentially waiting for the continuous component, that's meaning the Jumper and everything inside to enter completely before it can transport them...
[Dr. Beckett stares then looks at Weir.]
Dr. Weir: He says the Gate only sends things through in one piece.
[To Maj. Sheppard, who has a blood-sucking bug on his neck]
Dr. Beckett: "Sounds like you've got quite the cling-on."
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1x05 Suspicion

Maj. Sheppard: "Oh yeah, without inertial dampening we'd be hit by so many Gs our eyes would pop, the skin would pull away from our faces, our brains would squish up to the back of our skulls and our internal organs would be crushed into these chairs [looks at Ford] What about that sandwich?
Maj. Sheppard: "You guys do have names, right? Let me guess... Steve?"
Wraith: "I am your death! That is all you need to know."
Maj. Sheppard: "I prefer Steve."
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1x06 Childhood's End

Dr. McKay: "These things used to be plug and play, this device must be using another version of Windows."
[the sensors have discovered a powerful energy field]
Maj. Sheppard: "You think it's worth checking out?"
Dr. McKay: "Any significant energy emission generally indicates technological civilization."
Maj. Sheppard: "So... you think it's worth checking out?"
Dr. McKay: [sarcastically] "I'm sorry. Yes. Energy field good."
Casta (child): "You're mean!"
Dr. McKay: "Thank you for finally noticing."
Teyla: It looks like a shrine of some sort.
Ford: Wait a minute, are you saying these people worship the wraith?
Sheppard: That'd be a first.
Mckay: That'd be disturbing.
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1x07 Poisoning the Well

Dr. McKay: "No no no no, he just doesn't like going through the Stargate."
Maj. Sheppard: "He's worse than Dr. McCoy."
Teyla: "Who?"
Maj. Sheppard: "The character that Dr. Beckett plays in real life."
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1x08 Underground

Dr. McKay: "Maybe we should offer a sense of humour in trade."
Maj. Sheppard: "Sure. They can have yours."
Dr. McKay: "You have no idea which way to go, do you?"
Maj. Sheppard: "Just trying to get my bearings."
Dr. McKay: "Translation: "I'm lost.""
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1x10 The Storm

Dr. McKay: [the team is trying to come up with a solution to a problem while being very short on time] You're right. If only we had a magical tool that could slow down time. I foolishly left mine on Earth - did you bring yours?
Dr. Zelenka: You know, you're not pleasant when you're like this, McKay.
Dr. McKay: I'm always like this.
Dr. Zelenka: My point exactly.
Dr. Weir: The city can handle that?
Dr. McKay: Yes. Theoretically.
Maj. Sheppard: Like "dinosaurs turned into birds" theoretically or "theory of relativity" theoretically?
Dr. McKay: [looks confused] What? Um, somewhere between.
Maj. Sheppard: McKay will come up with something.
Dr. McKay: I will try, but despite what you all may think, I am not Superman.
[Sheppard looks around]
Maj. Sheppard: Was anyone seriously thinking that?
[Weir, Teyla and the other scientist shake their heads 'No']
Lt. Ford: No sir.
Dr. Zelenka: Never.
Maj. Sheppard: Wait a second, are these things even close to a transporter?
Dr. McKay: Uh... yes. Elizabeth's is.
Maj. Sheppard: And mine?
Dr. McKay: It's a brisk walk away.
Maj. Sheppard: And by "brisk" you mean "far"?
Dr. McKay: [nods] And by "walk" I mean "run".
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1x11 The Eye

Commander Kolya: [over radio] Major Sheppard, how's this for credibility? Weir's dead.
Maj. Sheppard: I am going to kill you.
Dr. McKay: In case you didn't notice, I'm an extremely arrogant man who thinks that all his plans are going to work!
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1x12 The Defiant One

Maj. Sheppard: "This is why parents get someone else to teach their kids how to drive."
Dr. McKay: "I'm both insulted and touched by that."
Maj. Sheppard: "Alright - lets remember where we parked." [when activating the cloaking device on the puddle jumper]; possibly in reference to Captain James T. Kirk's "Okay, everybody remember where we parked!" in Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home.]
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1x13 Hot Zone

[After Ford has managed to fail all his prime number guesses]
Dr. Zelenka: "Lt. Ford, would you mind being the subject of research papers on statistical probability?"
Lt. Ford: "Is this some sort of payback for guys like me beating up guys like you in high school?"
[to Lt. Ford]
Dr. Zelenka: "This goes far beyond you not knowing your prime numbers"
'[Major Shepperd is on his way in a Puddle Jumper to drop a naquadah generator converted into a bomb]
Maj. Shepperd: Yeah, get as far away from the nuclear explosion as possible. Good advice, McKay.
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1x14 Sanctuary

[referring to Maj. Sheppard]
Dr. McKay: "Oh my god, he's Kirk."
Dr. McKay: "How could I possibly know that? What am I, Answer Man?" [In response to a question from Dr. Weir]
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1x16 The Brotherhood

Dr. Beckett: "I'm a medical doctor, not a bloody fighter pilot!" (Reference to Star Trek 's Dr. McCoy and his line "I'm a doctor, not a...")
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1x19 The Siege, Part 1

Dr. McKay: "I'm not sure I can fix this."
Dr. Grodin: "You can fix anything."
Dr. McKay: "Who told you that?"
Dr. Grodin: "You did. On several occasions."
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1x20 The Siege, Part 2

[The Wraith have used asteroids to detonate several mines early.]

Dr. McKay: "Your mines make one hell of a bang, Colonel, I'm sure the Wraith's ears are ringing."
Dr. McKay: "I knew this would happen. You come in here with your guns and your brush cuts, but when Atlantis needs saving, who do you turn to? The scientists, and what you ask for is impossible."
Col. Everett: "When was the last time you slept, Doctor?"
Dr. McKay: "Yeah, yeah, shut up, I have an idea"

[Dr. McKay is trying to get a reluctant Dr. Beckett to sit the Ancient chair]

Dr. McKay: "It's out of drones; you couldn't do any damage if you wanted to, now SIT DOWN."
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Season 2

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2x01 The Siege, Part 3

Maj. Sheppard: "I'm telling you we've got to send these guys a message. We are not the Ancients who recklessly sit around and wait. If they don't back off, we have the capacity and the will to go to... kick their asses for a change."
Dr. McKay: "Oh. I am gonna curl up in bed with the largest sandwich I can find."
Teyla: "Shall I just explain to the rest of the Wraith left on the base that you are unavailable to fight?"
Col. Caldwell: "Can we submerge the city again?"
Dr. McKay: 'It's a city, not a yo-yo."
Dr. Weir: Ok, what are our options?
Dr. McKay: Let me see, we've got quick death, slow death, painful death, cold, lonely death...
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2x03 Runner

Major Lorne: "Wow, you must really be some kind of genius."
Dr McKay: "Well, as a matter of fact I ...eh, wait a minute, why would you say that now?"
Major Lorne: "Something has to have kept Colonel Sheppard from shooting you all this time."
[Dr Beckett to Ronon Dex while operating on him in the open without sedative]
Dr Beckett: "Look, I just wanna say one last time: I really don't think this is a good idea. We're cutting very close to your spinal column here, if you're to flinch..."
Ronon Dex: "I won't flinch."
Lt. Col. Sheppard: "What the hell are you doing?! "
Teyla: "Getting my hand free."
Lt. Col. Sheppard: "Didn't feel that way!"
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2x05 Condemned

Lt. Col. Sheppard: "How much time do you need to rework the D.H.D.?"
Dr. McKay: "Well, in a perfect world, two days."
Lt. Col. Sheppard: "Rodney?"
Dr. McKay: "Right now - ten minutes, give or take."
Lt. Col. Sheppard: "How's it coming, Rodney?"
Dr. McKay: "Slower than I expected, but faster than humanly possible."
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2x06 Trinity

[about Dr. McKay]
Dr. Weir: "He really sold you."
Lt. Col. Sheppard: "He asked me to trust him."
Dr. Weir: "You destroyed three-quarters of a solar system!"
Dr. McKay: "Five-sixths, but it's not an exact science."
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2x08 Conversion

Dr. McKay: "Maybe we should make a diversion."
Maj. Lorne: "Are you volunteering?"
Dr. McKay: "I'll shut up."
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2x10 The Lost Boys

[After the autopilot of the Wraith dart engages automatically]
Lt. Col. Sheppard: "R2, I need you to turn the auto pilot off." (Reference to R2-D2 from Star Wars).
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2x11 The Hive

Neera: "You do not fear them?"
Lt. Col. Sheppard: "The Wraith? Naah. Now clowns! – that's another story. Scare the crap out of me…"
Neera: "You have fought the Wraith before?"
Lt. Col. Sheppard: "Lots of times. Won some battles; lost some. War's not over by a long shot, but we're managing to hold our own."
Neera: "And the clowns?"
Lt. Col. Sheppard: "The clowns? Oh, yeah, the clowns. We fight them too – entire armies, spilling out of Volkswagons. We do our best to fight them off, but they keep sending `em in!"
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2X13 Critical Mass

[The team walks in to check on Ronon, who is interrogating Dr. Kavanaugh, only to find Kavanaugh laying on the ground]
Lt. Col. Sheppard: "What did you do to him?"
Ronon: "Nothing, he fainted before I could touch him."
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2x14 Grace Under Pressure

[To Sheppard after he tells her of his plan to rescue McKay]
Dr. Weir: "You and Rodney have been bugging me for a chance at trying a Jumper as a submersible, but you sure went a hell of a long way to make me say yes!"
[To his hallucination of Col. Carter]
Dr. McKay: "I mean, you come in here, you don't help me, you say the one plan I've got is bad, you-you claim to be a creation of my mind and yet you are in no way dressed provocatively"
Dr. McKay: "Oh, wow! I'm arguing with myself about who had an idea first – me or me. I really am petty, aren't I?"
[To his hallucination of Col. Carter]
Dr. McKay: "No. No, I'm not gonna fall for your plan, Lieutenant Colonel Siren!"
Dr. McKay: "You are an inanimate object! But am I going to stop talking to you? Oh, no no no, my inanimate friend. Why? Because... because... because I have been STRUCK upon the HEAD!"
[After Zelenka realizes Sheppard wants him to go underwater in the Puddlejumper with him to save McKay]
Dr. Zelenka: "Oh! No-no-no-no-no-no – I cannot possibly ... uh, no."
Dr. Weir: "Radek."
Dr. Zelenka: "I-I ... I can't even swim!"
Lt. Colonel Sheppard: "There's not a lot of swimming under a thousand feet of ocean."
Dr. Weir: (to Radek) "Look, I'm not gonna order you to go."
Lt. Colonel Sheppard: "I will!" [Elizabeth shoots him a look]
Dr. Weir: "All I'm saying is that if Rodney can't turn to you, who can he turn to?"
Dr. Zelenka: [Thinks for several seconds] "Right. Give me a few minutes and I'll get my gear."
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2x15 The Tower

Lt. Colonel Sheppard: "We got the drones, we got a few Jumpers; I even got the girl."
Dr. Weir: "You got the girl?!"
Lt. Colonel Sheppard: "Well, I mean I could have got the girl. I turned her down."
Dr. Weir: [smiling] "What did you offer them in return for the drones and the Jumpers?"
Lt. Colonel Sheppard: "A supply of medicines and an IDC if they need to reach us. We also offered to help `em come up with a new way of running things when the time comes."
Dr. Weir: "They didn't offer you King?!"
Lt. Colonel Sheppard: [looks at her] "I turned that down too!"
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2x19 Inferno

Lt. Col. Sheppard: "The ship in the hangar. Maybe McKay can fix it."
Dr. McKay: "Oh, maybe I can fix it. Place the pressure squarely on my shoulders for a change!"
Lt. Col. Sheppard: "Well, I've discovered you're pretty good under the threat of impending death!"
(McKay points at him like he's about to start shouting, then calms down and turns to Norena)
Dr. McKay: "I am, actually."
Dr. McKay: "What? That's my plan. Didn't I tell you about that?"
Dr. Beckett: "No."
Lt. Col. Sheppard: "No, you didn't."
Dr. McKay: "Well, you were too busy running around looking for people."
Dr. McKay: "And I have, uh, discovered the ship's name." (He looks at his computer tablet.) "It's the, um, Hipapheralkus."
Lt. Col. Sheppard: "The what?!"
Dr. McKay: "Yeah, well, it appears to have been named after an Ancient general ... Hipapheralkus."
Lt. Col. Sheppard: "Well, we're not calling it that!"
Dr. McKay: "Oh good, then what about, um ..."
Lt. Col. Sheppard: "And we're not calling it the Enterprise either!"
Dr. Beckett: "I think I may be missing something. Correct me if I'm wrong, but when the volcano erupts, don't we as well?"
Dr. McKay: "That's the plan."
Lt. Col. Sheppard: "That's the plan?"
Dr. McKay: "That's the plan!"
Lt. Col. Sheppard: "That plan sucks!"
Dr. Beckett: "Aye!"
Dr. McKay: "This ship will be ejected along with the magma and steam several thousand feet into the air."
Lt. Col. Sheppard: "The ship can survive that?"
Dr. McKay: "For exactly four point one seconds, yes. Look, the hangar should disintegrate. The moment we're clear, we open a brief hyperspace window, jump to space before the explosion depletes our shields and incinerates us, hmm?"
Lt. Col. Sheppard: "OK."
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2x20 Allies

Dr. McKay: They call it flashing!
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Taglines

It will take you a million light years from home. But will it bring you back?
A new gate will open. A lost city will rise again.
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See also

Wikipedia has an article about:
he:סטארגייט אטלנטיס
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