The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

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The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air was a sitcom that ran from 1990 to 1996.

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The Great Mentos: For my next trick, I'll need a volunteer.
Carlton:(shouting) Pick me 'Oh Great Mentos!' Pick me!
Will: (shouting) Shoot me 'Oh Great Mentos!' Shoot me!
(Phillip and Vivian are sleeping on the living room couch. Will sneaks quietly upstairs. When he makes it, he begins dancing.)
Vivian: Goodnight Will.
Phillip: You're grounded.
(Philip baby talks to Nicky and dances next to his carriage)
Will: Earthquake!!!
...is a dance and apparently, you know it.
(Philip chases Will up the stairs)
Philip: Jazz, to what do we owe your presence?
Geoffrey: My guess would be inbreeding.
Hilary: Daddy, I need 300 dollars.
Philip: That's a lot of money, Hilary. What for?
Hilary: I need a new hat.
Philip: For what?
Will: Probably her head.
(Philip walks into the kitchen wearing a red shirt)
Will: Hey, Kool-Aid!
Philip: I got your Kool-Aid...!
(Will comes home from a trip to Vail and the family, disappointed that he missed his birthday party, tells him they we're expecting him.)
Carlton: A clever little ruse, bub.
And to think I spent 50 big ones on your damn cake.
And not just any cake. I got you that really, really neat one in the commercials.
You know, the one that goes...
Sonny the Seal, your tummy will squeal!
For $49.95, Oh what a deal. It's Sonny!
Will: Carlton, Carlton!
Carlton (To Will): Will, we have so much and Geoffrey has so little.
Well, now we'll have more.
Will: (knocks on the door and it opens with no one there) Oh, we definitely need one of them in the girl's locker room.
Geoffrey (To Phillip): I didn't find anything but I found a dollar under Ashley's bed. Who knew Christmas would come twice this year?
Philip: I need to talk to you.
Will: About what?
Philip: You know. From the minute you walked through that door, you've been a one-man wrecking crew, trying to tear down what's taken a lot of hard work to build up, skewering everything with your flippant shenanigans!
Will: I was with you up until "skewering".
Wheezie Jefferson: Well?
George Jefferson: Well, what?
Wheezie: He said to name three things you like about me.
George: Fine. Your mother's gone. Your mother's dead. Your mother ain't livin' no more.
(Will laughs then fake coughs)
Philip: What is wrong with you people? I weigh the same as I did in high school.
Will: Yeah, if you add up all four years.


(From "Love at First Fight")
Will: I just have one question. You know, I hope it's not too personal or anything.
Kayla (Jasmine Guy): What is it?
Will: Well, have you always been this stuck up or did it take you, like, years of practice?
Kayla: You callin' me stuck up. You're the one that's stuck up.
Will: Me?
Kayla: That's right, my brother. Frontin' around like you're all that.
Will: Oh, excuse -- excuse me, Miss Madam. You're the one acting like you're all that.
When in actuality you're... (Will puts his index finger and thumb close together) ...that much of that.
You so stuck up, that your fingernails have to make an appointment to scratch your damn head.
Kayla: Your mama.
Will: My mama? Oh, What about my mama?
Kayla: Your mama so fat, they showed a picture of her feet and she couldn't identify them.
Will: OK, you -- you know what? Your mama so dumb, that she went to a movies, it said "under 17 not admitted", so she went home and brought 16 of her friends.
Kayla: I shouldn't be talking about your mama.
I feel sorry about your mama... havin' such an ugly child.
Will: Say what?
Kayla: You so ugly, she tied a pork chop around your neck just so the dogs would play with you.
Will: You so ugly, your mother had to feed you with a slingshot.
Kayla: You so ugly, that ain't a fade on your head, that's your hair runnin' away from your face.
Will: Oh, really? Well, you're so ugly. No, no, this is a good one. You are so ugly that -- damn, baby, you so fine.
I would kiss you, but I just had a chili dog.
Jazz: Making a baby is truly a blessed event.
Will: Don't you mean 'Having a baby'?
Jazz: Trust me on this.
Jazz: I'm starvin'. When do we eat here?
Philip: We eat here later, you eat here never.
Jazz: [looking Philip up and down] Looks like you eat here often.
Philip: (Throws Jazz out the door)
Jazz: AHHH!
Philip: Man changed my life.
And you know how he did? He challenged me.
Will: To what, a pie eatin' contest?
Hilary: Jazz and I are getting married.
Philip: Over his dead body!
Hilary: Excuse me, doesn't anyone care what I think?
Everyone: NO!
(At a comedy club's showcase where Will's jokes bomb)
Hilary: Will's really bombing up there. We should do something.
Carlton: Good idea. Boo, get off the stage, we want our money back, go back where you came from.
Philip: Found it!
Vivian: You found the sonogram?
Philip: No, it's the little chocolate bunny from Easter.
I've been looking for it all week.
Vivian: Philip, at least take off the foil.
Philip: Oh my God.
Vivian: What is it, a boy or a girl?
Philip: This isn't a sonogram. It's a bill for $25,000. This baby's costing me a fortune.
Will: Congratulations, you're having a Hilary!
Will: Hey, Miss Lamor. I've been your biggest fan ever since I seen you in Mutiny on the Hussy.
Yo, you looked dope in 3-D.
Sonya Lamor (Zsa Zsa Gabor): It wasn't in 3-D.
Will: Whoa. Back up.
Parrot: I'm a big star. Get me a job or you're fired!
Will: Hey, what's up? I'm Will, Polly want a cracker?
Parrot: Will is a cracker.
Will: Yeah, man. And your mother poops on papers.
Carlton: Great! G, Make me a sandwich.
Geoffrey: (Places piece of bread on his head) There, now you're a sandwich!
Will (to Carlton): You can take it [the bread] off your head.
Jazz (to Will, referring to Tyriq): What's he doing here?
Tyriq (to Will, referring to Jazz): No, what's he doing here?
Will: Now, y'all not still mad about that watch thing.
Tyriq (to Will, referring to Jazz): He sold me a fake Rolex.
Jazz (to Will, referring to Tyriq): He paid with a fake $20.
Will (To Tyriq): Now, first of all. You should have known it was fake when you saw that the warranty was only for two hours.
(To Jazz): And you should have known the Jackson on the $20 ain't Jermaine.
Jazz (to Will): I think I know where your uncle's briefcase is.
(Jazz picks up the the destroyed briefcase from the trash compactor)
It got a little condensed when I put it in the drawer.
Will: Jazz, that is not a drawer, that's a trash compactor! And when Uncle Phil sees that, it's going to be a Jazz compactor!
Jazz: That's gratitude for you. I worked all day trying to keep this house nice for you.
I cook, I clean and work my fingers to the bone. And this is the thanks I get?
Will: Well, I bust my hump at school all day and all you do is sit around here watching soap operas and eating bonbons.
Jazz: Well, excuse me for havin' a little fun. Maybe it's because you never take me out anymore.
Will: Well, maybe I would if you'd fix yourself up a little bit.
Whoa, wait a minute. We sound like an old married couple.
Jazz: So now i'm old?
And I gave you the best years of my life.
(Jazz sits in the chair at the kitchen table)
Will: Look. I'm sorry, man...
(Will puts his hand on Jazz's shoulder, Jazz quickly shrugs it off)
All right. Look. I'm sorry. Come on, homies?
Jazz: Don't try and sweet-talk me. And, if you'll excuse me, I have a headache.
Jazz (in the back of Will's car): Yo, who cut the...?
Oh, Mr. Banks. Sorry, I didn't see you... as hard as that is to believe.
Will (with a toothpick in his mouth wearing a wig half-off his head): I'm stuck in a basement, sittin' on a tricycle. Girl gettin' on my nerves.
Going out of my mind, I thought she was fine. Don't know if her body is hers.
Philip (to Will about his new car): Until I see some insurance papers, you're not driving this car.
In fact, what kind of idiot would sell a car without insurance?
Jazz: I resent that. Ah, the joke's on you, Mr. Banks.
You can't throw me out, 'cause I'm already outside.
(Philip picks up Jazz then proceeds to throw him into the kitchen)
Jazz: Ahh!
Ashley: You know something? This is all your fault.
Will: What is that, like the theme of this family? "When in doubt, blame Will."
Ashley: Daddy, why do we have to do a family portrait anyway?
Philip: Well, we're in transition, sweetheart. I want a portrait to capture us as we are before we drift further apart.
By the way... Hilary, what are you doing here?
Hilary: Well, it's so dark in my house. None of the lights work.
Will: Hilary, you have to have the power turned on.
Why didn't you call the electric company?
Hilary: Well, I tried but the phone doesn't work.
Vivian (to Philip): Sweetheart, It hasn't been that long since we've made love, has it?
Geoffrey: Five months this Tuesday.
Thin walls.
(Vivian kisses Philip's cheek, they look at Geoffrey, Geoffrey looks to the living room)
Geoffrey: Oh, all right. I've seen you both naked anyway.
Will: O.K., Miss Banks. You were the former tenant of the aforementioned poolhouse. Is that correct?
Hilary: Yes.
Will: O.K., could you please tell us of your experiences there?
Hilary: Am I under oath?
Judge: Of course.
Hilary: Well, Trevor would come over at about 3:00 in the morning and we would --.
Will, Philip and Carlton: Objection!
(Will walks in with Nicky)
Vivian: Oh, baby. Come to mommy.
Carlton: Oh, coming, mommy.
(Philip pushes Carlton onto the couch)
Hilary: We tried to tell you yesterday.
Philip (referring to a dismissed juror from the Showbiz Madam case who was on Hilary's talk show): That's your excuse?
You didn't think that he was going to be angry at me for dismissing him?
You didn't have the common sense to know that?!
Hilary (crying): I don't have any common sense!
Carlton (looking at Will's feet): You need a pedicure.
Will: Well, I would crack on your feet but they don't reach all the way up here.
(Will turns off the lights)
Carlton: Will...
Do you want to get married?
Will: All right, that's it. Get out of my bed!
Carlton: Not to me, you pervert.
Will: Sorry, man. This is L.A.
Carlton: Well, I definitely want to get married. And I want my wife to be a virgin.
Will: Well... You better hurry up, man. Mother Theresa ain't getting no younger.
Carlton: My wife. The limber, but unspoiled Brigitta. She'll be an excellent homemaker and have the breasts the size of Australia.
Will: I don't know, man. I just can't imagine wakin' up to the same woman every day for the rest of my life. No matter how big Australia is.
Carlton: Come on, Will. You really don't want to get married?
Will: I don't know, man. Uh, maybe one day. You know, when I'm old and gray. You know, around 29, 30 years old.
Carlton: Heck, by that time, Young Cartlon will already be interviewing
for preschool and Carltonette will be a little croissant in the oven.
Will: Well, that's good. Then they'll be able to babysit Little Will, Wilma, Wilhelmina, Wilton and Baby Willa.
Carlton: Good night, Will.
Will: Carlton?
Carlton: Yeah?
Will: Is that your feet or did you break wind?
Carlton: Sorry, Will.
Trevor (on TV proposing to Hilary): Hilary Banks!
Hilary: Yes, Trevor?!
Trevor: Will you marry me? (Trevor slams to the ground)
Will: I ain't no bungee expert or nothing, but I don't think he's supposed to be slamming into the ground like that.
Hilary: "Please Stand By?" Great, the president's about to interrupt my marriage proposal.
Phil: Let's just pray that Trevor's okay.
(returning from Trevor's funeral) It was a lovely service.
Will: Trevor didn't look so bad for a dude that had a concrete facelift.
Carlton: Fool, like that was his real head.
Bob Eubanks: What is the capital of Ohio?
(Tyriq rings buzzer)
Tyriq?
Tyriq: That would be the capital "O", Bob.
Eubanks: "O"?
Tyriq: Yeah, You know, Ohio.
Capital "O", Little "h". Do I have to spell the whole thing?
Eubanks: I guess I didn't say "capital city".
We're gonna have to get a ruling from our judges. Judges, what do you say?
(Right answer bell dings)
Sounds like the judges are accepting that answer.
Will: Sounds like the judges drank their lunch.
Dr. Whitehorn: Hello, George. Wheezie.
George Jefferson: Hey, Whitey.
Dr. Whitehorn: That's, uh -- That's Dr. Whitehorn.
George Jefferson: Yeah, yeah, Horny. Where do you want me to sit?
Philip: Will, this is all your fault.
Will: My fault?
Philip: Where else did Ashley learn such behavior?
Will: Whoa, whoa, wait a minute. You're the one that chased Ashley out of here.
Philip: How dare you talk to me like that.
Carlton: He dares because he doesn't respect you. Neither of them do.
Hilary: What a crock.
Will: How are you just gonna tell a bold-faced lie, man?
Hilary (on tape recording): Carlton, Will's right. Daddy is way too strict. (Carlton rewinds tape)
Will (on tape recording): Yeah right, you think everything your father does is right.
Carlton (on tape recording): Of course, don't you?
Will (on tape recording): Heeeeeell, no.
Carlton: And listen to this from last week.
Will (as he and Hilary try to wrestle the tape recorder from Carlton): Man, what is wrong with you?
Carlton: Where is she [Ashley]?
Hilary: Well, if I ran away from home, I'd probably check into the Four Seasons and get a massage.
Will: Man, y'all should have seen Uncle Phil. Dude just went straight loco.
That big vein in his neck looked like an anaconda.
Carlton: Look, there's a method to my father's madness. If we came down hard on Ashley, it was for her own good.
Will: Man, you think everything your father does is right.
Carlton: Of course, don't you?
Will: Heeeeeell, no.
Hilary: Carlton, Will's right. Daddy is way too strict.
Carlton: Well, he may be strict, but he's always fair.
Hilary: Yeah, when you're a son.
Carlton: Well, sons are different than daughters.
Will Yeah, in your case, just barely.
Carlton: If you're referring to the size of my endowment, it's almost as large as Hilary's.
(Will's eyes bug out)
Will: God, I hope you're talkin' about money.
Philip: What are you thinking about?
Vivian: I'm just trying to recall what it felt like to be 15.
Philip: It was so long ago, how could you remember?
(Vivian scowls at Philip)
I'm just so upset, I'm saying things I don't even mean.
Philip: I'm going to bed. Good night, Geoffrey.
Geoffrey: Good night, sir. (under his breath): Idiot.
Philip: Geoffrey!
Geoffrey: You rang?
Philip: Geoffrey, where did you put the insecticide?
Geoffrey: In your soup.
Philip (referring to Will): Did you see the way he was dressed?
Vivian: What's wrong with it?
Philip: Did you hear that language?
Vivian: Oh, come on, Philip. We used slang when we were kids. Remember our first date?
You took one look at me and said "Vivian, that is a bad dress."
Now you could have said it was a good dress.
Philip: I could have if I liked it. Actually, it was a bad dress.
Vivian: That's stupid. Now, take it for whatever meaning you want.
Will: Hey, grandma. What do you think?
Hattie (walking in the living room to see Carlton in a dress being sewn by Will): Six years of Oprah and this is still a shock.
Carlton: It's a bet, Grandma.
Hattie: Don't tell me what happens if you lose.
In fact, i don't want to know what happens if you win. Oh, Hell. Let's just never mention it again.
Philip (walking in the living room to see Carlton in a dress being sewn by Will): Son -- and I use that term loosely.
Carlton: Dad, it's not what it looks like. Will and I are making a dress.
Philip: That's exactly what it looks like.
(at the Gingham Turtle restaurant, where Carlton is performing a striptease)
Woman: Take it off!
Vivian: Put it on!
Carlton Banks, you put your clothes on this minute!
Carlton (gasps): Mommy!
(Carlton covers his chest with his hands)
Philip: For these gifts we are about to receive, may the Lord make us truly thankful. Amen.
Everyone: Amen.
Philip: So Vivian, how were your classes today?
Vivian: Fine. I just wish my students would concentrate more on their work. They're very easily distracted.
Will: I see it every day. Don't you, Hilary?
(Hilary barks like a dog)
Vivian: Did you say something, sweetie?
Hilary: No. (Philip takes a drink from his glass)
Will Smith is perfect.
Will: Why, thank you. It's so nice to be appreciated.
Philip: Yes, but perhaps at another time. Your mother was trying to say something and I'm sure she would appreciate it if she weren't interrupted again.
Hilary: Sorry.
Vivian: Anyway, as I was saying.... (Philip takes another drink from his glass)
Hilary: Will Smith is the king of the universe.
Will: Why, thank you!
Vivian: I'd like to finish my story, if that's okay with you, Hilary?
(Hilary barks like a dog)
Philip: Hilary!
(Hilary barks like a dog)
Vivian: Look, I know people get a little silly around midterms. But not at the dinner table.
Hilary: Sorry, mom.
(Carlton clinks his fork on his glass)
Hilary: Will Smith is the scum of the earth.
Vivian: Hilary! (Hilary barks like a dog, then Philip takes a drink from his glass)
Hilary: However, Will Smith is the pinnacle of manliness.
(Carlton clears his throat, then Hilary smacks Will upside his head)
Will: Hilary! (Hilary barks like a dog, then Carlton clears his
throat again and Hilary smacks Will upside the head again)
Ashley: What's with Hilary?
(Hilary barks like a dog)
(Hilary barks like a dog repeatedly when name mentioned, Carlton clears his throat and Hilary smacks Will upside the head repeatedly)
Hilary': Carlton, where did you learn to do this?
Carlton (twisting lock on safe): The Young Republicans sponsered a seminar. (finds safe combination) Open sesame!
Hilary: Oh my God, it's full of gold bars!
Carlton: Those are Twinkies. (pulling out floppy disk) Hello! Legal docs.
Geoffrey: Well, i see someone is coming into some money.
Ashley: Geoffrey! We weren't taking any money!
Geoffrey: I meant me.
Carlton: Alright Geoffrey, what's it gonna cost to keep you quiet?
Geoffrey: Well, considering the magnitude of this betrayal of your father's trust...$1000.
Carlton, Ashley, and Hilary (together): Oh that's cool, we can handle that, no problem.
Geoffrey: ...a week. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to wash some dirty laundry.
Hilary (to Philip): Daddy, if you're always losing your keys, you should use my system.
Ashley: What's that?
Hilary: O.K., like I was always losing my car keys, so I went down to the key store and had 30 copiess made. That way when I lose a key, I always have another one -- And next month, I do the same thing.
Ashley: That's your system?
Hilary: Absolutely. I did the same thing with our house key.
Philip: You mean, there are copies of our house key all over Los Angeles?
Hilary: Don't worry, daddy. I put our name and address on all of them.
(Hilary is bothered about a mole on her date's skin; Will is attempting to convince her that it's not such a big deal.)
Will: You're making a mountain out of a mole, Hil!
Hilary: Carlton, haul the brats.
Carlton: I'm expecting company.
Will: Yeah, I'll put it in the oven for you.
Carlton: Well, you're closest to the door.
Will: And you're closest to the floor.
Hilary: And I am close to snagging a garnet necklace at half price.
Now one of you get out there and fire up that Benz!
(car starts)
Thank you.
(car peels out of driveway, Hilary, Will and Cartlon run outside)
Will: Okay, Thelma and Louise, park it over here.
Ashley (to fellow Sunshine Trooper): I told you the "R" didn't mean real fast.
Philip (to Hilary): Now you're gonna have find yourself a job, young lady.
And you're going to have to keep it for longer than one day.
Hilary: Okay, you're right. You're right.
I haven't lived up to my end of the bargain, and I feel terrible. I really do.
Okay, I'm making a New Year's resolution to find a job... right after Easter.
(Philip groans)
Will: Carlton, the customers are complaining, there ain't no bacon in the BLTs.
Carlton: Well, where's the law that says the "B" has to stand for bacon?
Read the damn sign.
Will: Bread, lettuce and tomato?
(Geoffrey sneezes)
Vivian: Geoffrey, it sounds like you're getting a cold.
Geoffrey (speaking with nose stuffed up): Not at all, madam. It was barely a stipple.
There you go, Master William.
Will: Thanks a lot, G. It looks great.
(Geoffrey sneezes in Will's cereal)
Will: Yo, Carlton. Breakfast!
Will: Carlton, skiing is for white guys named Sven, and O.J. Simpson.
Carlton: Oh, Will, you deprived product of the ghetto. Skiing is an exhilarating sport.
Will: What is exhilarating about strapping two sticks to your feet, flying down a hill at 90 miles an hour, and then slamming into a tree?
This is L.A., man. If I wanted to get my head cracked, I'd star in the next Rodney King video.
Vivian: I got my silverware back.
Carlton: How'd you know?
Vivian: The caterers brought it back.
Will (with silverware in his pants): Now, um, Carlton.
Why do I have service for eight in my drawers?
Carlton: Boy, that Paula's really bad news. First, she dumps me, now you know what she did?
Ashley: Hmm, Will, do you know?
Will: No. I don't know nothing. I'm just a poor black man trying to make it in Bel-Air.
Carlton: She gave me the flu.
Will: Come on, look on the bright side, Carlton.
Most girls don't give you nothin'.
Vivian: Hi, baby. How was school?
Carlton: Mommy, I don't feel so good. I think I got the flu.
Vivian: Oh, that's too bad, baby. Get out of the house.
Will: You know, we're getting more and more like the Jackson family every day.
Dr. Baylor: I've gotta find those glasses.
Will (praying): God, please don't let me leave here with breasts.
(during a dance lesson)
Lamont: All right, Philly-dilly.
Now, lesson number two is: shake your groove thang.
Geoffrey (referring to Philip's butt): If that's a groove, the Grand Canyon's a ditch.
Philip: Geoffrey, go fetch me my tools.
Geoffrey: You mean, your knife and fork?
Will: Um, your honor. Uh... Now before you deliver your verdict, the defense dictates that you sustain the motion of the ocean.
Because most parents want the truth, but they can't handle the truth!
So in conclusion, I move for a change of venue. What you say you give us a half-hour head start?
Philip: What the hell are you talking about?
Ashley: Daddy, I withdrew from Bel-Air Academy six weeks ago and transferred to Morris High.
(Will jumps behind the chair)
Philip: I'm not mad.
Will: You're not?
(To Ashley): And you thought he was gonna be mad.
Philip: You transferred out, you'll transfer back.
Tomorrow when I wake up, Ashley will be back in Bel-Air Academy and maybe Will won't even be here.
Ashley: Daddy, I'm not going back.
(Will jumps behind the chair again)
Philip: Now I'm mad.
(to Will): You knew about this, didn't you?
Ashley: Will didn't do anything wrong.
Will: That's right. You tell them, Ashley.
Ashley: If anything, I should thank Will. He's the whole reason I transferred.
Will: Hey, pull it back, baby. Pull it back.
(Philip scowls)
Will: Like I'm doing, pull it back.
Vivian: Geoffrey, who is having this baby, him [Philip] or me?
Geoffrey: It's rather hard to tell just by looking.
Will: All right, all right. Come on, Uncle Phil. What's bothering you?
Philip: Right now, you are.
Will: Hey, hey, hey. Come on, man.
Let me have it. What's the problem?
Philip: Will, do you know what I'd do if I even thought for one second that you were anywhere near my problem?
Will: No, what?
Philip: I'd build a fence to keep you away.
One with barbed wire and maybe a sniper up on the roof to pick you off just in case you got over the fence.
And on the slightest chance that he'd miss, there'd be two Rottweilers guarding my problem.
Will: You don't want my help, do you?
(Will points to the kitchen, then leaves)
(Cartlon dances, then Will walks into the room)
Will: Carlton? What's wrong, man. Are you having a Maalox moment?
Carlton: I'm practicing for Soul Train. I understand there's some dancing involved.
(Carlton dances again)
Will: Two things, Carlton.
One: That's not dancing. And two: I would appreciate it if you'd stay away from the show.
Carlton: And why pray tell is that?
Will: Again two things, Carlton.
One: Because you say stuff like "pray tell." And two: you're gonna mess up my chances of being the new co-host.
Carlton: You're going to be the new co-host?
Gee, I guess they forgot to fax me that press release.
Will: Well, let me break it down for you, teeny poteeto.
Now, Soul Train has been looking for a new co-host, and so far nobody's worked out.
Carlton: And they're going to give you the co-host job based on what -- your love of Don Cornelius dolls?
Will: It's not a doll, man. It's an action figure.
And you got no business even being on the Soul Hyundai, let alone the Soul Train.
So just stay away from the show, man, so you don't embarrass me.
Carlton: Me? You're the embarrassment, you urban urchin.
Look I know you don't think I'm good enough for Soul Train. But when I get there, I'm gonna dance circles around you.
Carlton Banks, Soul Brother number one.
(Carlton dances again, Will looks at us with a worried look for a few seconds and then walks to the kitchen)
Philip: I don't want any buts.
Geoffrey: Well, you're certainly losing that battle.
(Lisa mentions her sorority sisters throwing her and Will a wedding shower)
Carlton: Excuse me, but I couldn't help hearing from where I was eavesdropping.
But why pay hotel prices when you can have the party at our house for free?
Will: Hey, that's decent, C.
Carlton: And I can get you a great deal on the mandatory catering.
People are talking about our peacock pu-pu platter.
Will: Yeah. Well, people talk about you too, but that don't mean they want you at their party.
Carlton: I make a tuna paté to die for.
Will (to Lisa): Or from.
(to Carlton): Hold up a second, there, Chef Boy-are-you-short.
Denise: I knew I could make you forget about your fiancée.
Will: Hey, hey, hey. Ain't nobody making me forget about my fiance.
All right, I love... Lucy.
That ain't it, is it?
Denise: It's Lisa.
Will: Ah, that's right. That's right.
Carlton: For a long time, it gave me nightmares. Having to witness an injustice like that.
It was a constant reminder of how unfair this world can be.
I can still hear them taunting him... Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids.
How come they just couldn't give him some cereal?
(At school, Ashley walks in with her new makeover, boys crowd around her)
Carlton: Will, check out the talent. She's cool. She's hot. She's...
Will: Your baby sister, man!
(Carlton screams)
Will: (after finding out he doesn't know much about Lisa) Just one more thing, your name is Lisa, isn't it?
Lisa: Well it is now, I wasn't gonna go through life hearing people say "Hey Beulah!"
Geoffrey: THIEVING WANKERS!!
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