The Hobbit
From BillionQuotes
The Hobbit (1937) by J. R. R. Tolkien
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Chapter I: An Unexpected Party
About 'Good Morning'
"Good morning!" Said Bilbo, and he meant it. ... "What do you mean" [Gandalf] said. "Do you wish me a good morning, or mean that it is a good morning whether I like it or not; or that you feel good this morning; or that it is a morning to be good on?" "All of them at once!" said Bilbo.
"Good morning!" [Bilbo] said at last. "We don't want any adventures here, thank you! You might try over The Hill or across The Water." By this he meant that the conversation was at an end. "What a lot of things you use Good morning for!" said Gandalf "Now you mean that you want to be rid of me, and it won't be good til I move off."
[Bilbo]"Sorry! I don't want any adventures here, thank you. Not today. Good morning!"
About The origins of Golf:
If you have ever seen a dragon in a pinch, you will realize that this was only a poetical exageration applied to any hobbit, even to Old Took's great-grand-uncle Bullroarer, who was so huge (for a hobbit) that he could ride a horse. He charged the ranks of the goblins of Mount Gram in the Battle of The Green Fields, and knocked their king Golfimbul's head clean off with a wooden club. It sailed a hundred yards through the air and went down a rabbit hole, and in this way the battle was won, and the game of Golf invented at the same moment.
The Dwarves sing:
"Chip the glasses and crack the plates! Blunt the knives and bend the forks! That's what Bilbo Baggins hates- Smash the bottles and burn the corks!
Cut the cloth and tread on the fat! Pour the milk on the pantry floor! Leave the bones on the bedroom mat! Splash the wine on every door!
Dump the crocks in a boiling bowl; Pound them up with a thumping pole; And when you've finished, if any are whole, Send them down the hall to roll!
That's what Bilbo Baggins hates! So, carefully! carefully with the plates!"
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Chapter II: Roast Mutton
- "Blimey, Bert, look what I've copped!" said William.
- "What is it?" said the others coming up.
- "Lumme, if I knows! What are yer?"
- "Bilbo Baggins, a bur - a hobbit," said poor Bilbo, shaking all over, and wondering how to make owl-noises before they throttled him.
- "A burrahobbit?" said they a bit startled. Trolls are slow in the uptake, and mighty suspicious about anything new to them.
- "What's a burrahobbit got to do with my pocket, anyways?" said William.
- "And can yer cook 'em?" said Tom.
- "Yer can try," said Bert, picking up a skewer.
- "He wouldn't make above a mouthful," said William, who had already had a fine supper, "not when he was skinned and boned."
- "P'raps there are more like him round about, and we might make a pie," said Bert. "Here you, are there any more of your sort a-sneakin' in these here woods, yer nassty little rabbit," said he looking at the hobbit's furry feet; and he picked him up by the toes and shook him.
- "Yes, lots," said Bilbo, before he remembered not to give his friends away. "No none at all, not one," he said immediately afterwards.
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Chapter III: A Short Rest
- He was as noble and as fair in face as an elf-lord, as strong as a warrior, as wise as a wizard, as venerable as a king of dwarves, and as kind as summer. He comes into many tales, but his part in the story of Bilbo's great adventure is only a small one, though important, as you will see, if we ever get to the end of it.
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Chapter IV: Over Hill and Under Hill
- Under hill and over hill
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Chapter V: Riddles in the Dark
- Very slowly he got up and groped about on all fours, till he touched the wall of the tunnel; but neither up nor down it could he find anything: nothing at all, no sign of goblins, no sign of dwarves. His head was swimming, and he was far from certain even of the direction they had been going in when he had his fall. He guessed as well as he could, and crawled along for a good way, till suddenly his hand met what felt like a tiny ring of cold metal lying on the floor of the tunnel. It was a turning point in his career, but he did not know it. He put the ring in his pocket almost without thinking; certainly it did not seem of any particular use at the moment.
- What has roots as nobody sees,
Is taller than trees,
Up, up it goes,
And yet never grows?- (One of Gollum's riddles for Bilbo. The answer is "mountain".)
- Thirty white horses on a red hill,
First they champ,
Then they stamp,
Then they stand still.
- That was all he could think of to ask - the idea of eating was rather on his mind. It was rather an old one, too, and Gollum knew the answer as well as you do.
- "Chestnuts, chestnuts," he hissed. "Teeth! teeth! my preciousss; but we has only six!"
- (One of Bilbo's riddles for Gollum.)
- Alive without breath,
As cold as death;
Never thirsty, ever drinking,
All in mail never clinking.- (One of Gollum's riddles for Bilbo. The answer is "fish".)
- This thing all things devours:
Birds, beasts, trees, flowers;
Gnaws iron, bites steel;
Grinds hard stones to meal;
Slays king, ruins town,
And beats high mountain down.- (One of Gollum's riddles for Bilbo. The answer is "time".)
- "It's got to ask uss a quesstion, my preciouss, yes, yess, yesss. Jusst one more question to guess, yes, yess," said Gollum.
- But Bilbo simply could not think of any question with that nasty wet cold thing sitting next to him, and pawing and poking him. He scratched himself, he pinched himself; still he could not think of anything.
- "Ask us! ask us!" said Gollum.
- Bilbo pinched himself and slapped himself; he gripped on his little sword; he even felt in his pocket with his other hand. There he found the ring he had picked up in the passage and forgotten about.
- "What have I got in my pocket?" he said aloud. He was talking to himself, but Gollum thought it was a riddle, and he was frightfully upset.
- "Not fair! not fair!" he hissed. "It isn't fair, my precious, is it, to ask us what it's got in its nassty little pocketses?"
- Bilbo seeing what had happened and having nothing better to ask stuck to his question, "What have I got in my pocket?" he said louder.
- "S-s-s-s-s," hissed Gollum. "It must give us three guesses, my precious, three guesseses."
- "Very well! Guess away!" said Bilbo.
- "Handses!" said Gollum.
- "Wrong!" said Bilbo, who had luckily just taken his hand out again. "Guess again!"
- "Thief, thief, thief! Baggins! We hates it, we hates it, we hates it forever!"
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Chapter VI: Out of the Frying-Pan into the Fire
wargs
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Chapter VII: Queer Lodgings
Beorn the bear/human
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Chapter VIII: Flies and Spiders
- Bilbo, however, soon slipped away to a different place. The idea came to him to lead the furious spiders further and further away from the dwarves, if he could; to make them curious, excited and angry all at once. When about fifty had gone off to the place where he had stood before, he threw some more stones at these, and at others that had stopped behind; then dancing among the trees he began to sing a song to infuriate them and bring them all after him, and also to let the dwarves hear his voice.
- This was what he sang:
- Old fat spider spinning in a tree!
Old fat spider can't see me!
Attercop! Attercop!
Won't you stop,
Stop your spinning and look for me? - Old Tomnoddy, all big body,
Old Tomnoddy can't spy me!
Attercop! Attercop!
Down you drop!
You'll never catch me up your tree! - Not very good perhaps, but then you must remember that he had to make it up himself, on the spur of a very awkward moment.
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Chapter IX: Barrels Out of Bond
- "Upon my word!" said Thorin, when Bilbo whispered to him to come out and join his friends, "Gandalf spoke true, as usual! A pretty fine burglar you make, it seems, when the time comes. I am sure we are all for ever at your service, whatever happens after this. But what comes next?"
- Bilbo saw that the time had come to explain his idea, as far as he could; but he did not feel at all sure how the dwarves would take it. His fears were quite justified, for they did not like it a bit, and started grumbling loudly in spite of their danger.
- "We shall be bruised and battered to pieces, and drowned too, for certain!" they muttered. "We thought you had got some sensible notion, when you managed to get hold of the keys. This is a mad idea!"
- "Very well!" said Bilbo very downcast, and also rather annoyed. "Come along back to your nice cells, and I will lock you all in again, and you can sit there comfortably and think of a better plan - but I don't supposed I shall ever get hold of the keys again, even if I feel inclined to try."
- This was too much for them, and they calmed down.
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Chapter X: A Warm Welcome
- "I hope I never smell the smell of apples again!" said Fili. "My tub was full of it. To smell apples everlastingly when you can scarcely move and are cold and sick with hunger is maddening. I could eat anything in the wide world now, for hours on end - but not an apple!"
- "I am Thorin son of Thrain son of Thror King under the Mountain! I return!"
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Chapter XI: On the Doorstep
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Chapter XII: Inside Information
- To say that Bilbo's breath was taken away is no description at all. There are no words left to express his staggerment, since Men changed the language that they learned of elves in the days when all the world was wonderful.
- "Truly songs and tales fall utterly short of the reality, O Smaug the Chiefest and Greatest of Calamities," replied Bilbo.
- "You have nice manners for a thief and a liar," said the dragon. "You seem familiar with my name, but I don't seem to remember smelling you before. Who are you and where do you come from, may I ask?"
- "You may indeed! I come from under the hill, and under the hills and over the hills my paths led. And through the air. I am he that walks unseen."
- "So I can well believe," said Smaug, "but that is hardly your usual name."
- "I am the clue-finder, the web-cutter, the stinging fly. I was chosen for the lucky number."
- "Lovely titles!" sneered the dragon. "But lucky numbers don't always come off."
- "I am he that buries his friends alive and drowns them and draws them alive again from the water. I came from the end of a bag, but no bag went over me."
- "These don't sound so creditable," scoffed Smaug.
- "I am the friend of bears and the guest of eagles. I am Ringwinner and Luckwearer; and I am Barrel-rider," went on Bilbo beginning to be pleased with his riddling.
- "That's better!" said Smaug. "But don't let your imagination run away with you!"
- "Never laugh at live dragons, Bilbo you fool!" he said to himself, and it became a favourite saying of his later, and passed into a proverb. "You aren't nearly through this adventure yet," he added, and that was pretty true as well.
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Chapter XIII: Not at Home
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Chapter XIV: Fire and Water
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Chapter XV: The Gathering of the Clouds
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Chapter XVI: A Thief in the Night
Bilbo goes to Bard and the king of the woodelves and gives them the Archenstone
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Chapter XVII: The Clouds Burst
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Chapter XVIII: The Return Journey
- [Thorin's last words to Bilbo] "Farewell, good thief," he said. "I go now to the halls of waiting to sit beside my fathers, until the world is renewed. Since I leave now all gold and silver, and go where it is of little worth, I wish to part in friendship from you, and I would take back my words and deeds at the Gate ... There is more in you of good than you know, child of the kindly West. Some courage and some wisdom, blended in measure. If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world. But sad or merry, I must leave it now. Farewell!"
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Chapter XIX: The Last Stage
- As all things come to an end, even this story, a day came at last when they were in sight of the country where Bilbo had been born and bred, where the shapes of the land and of the trees were as well known to him as his hands and toes.
- He took to writing poetry and visiting the elves; and through many shook their heads and touched their foreheads and said "Poor old Baggins!" and though few believed any of his tales, he remained very happy to the end of his days, and those were extraordinarily long.
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