The X-Files

Season 1

Pilot

Third Man: Are you familiar with an agent named Fox Mulder?

Scully: Yes, I am.

Third Man: How so?

Scully: By reputation. He's an Oxford educated psychologist, who wrote a monograph on serial killers and the occult, that helped to catch Monty Props in 1988. Generally thought of as the best analyst in the violent crimes section. He had a nickname at the academy... Spooky Mulder.

Section Chief Blevins: Are you familiar with the so-called X-Files?

Scully: I believe they have to do with unexplained phenomena.

Section Chief Blevins: More or less. The reason you're here, Agent Scully, is we want you to assist Mulder on these X-Files. You'll write field reports on your activities along with your observations on the validity of the work.

Scully: Am I to understand that you want me to debunk the X-Files Project, sir?

Section Chief Blevins: Agent Scully, we trust you'll make the proper scientific analysis.

[Scully knocks at the door to Mulder's office.]

Mulder: Sorry, nobody down here but the FBI's most unwanted.

Scully: Agent Mulder. I'm Dana Scully. I've been assigned to work with you.

Mulder: Oh, isn't it nice to be suddenly so highly regarded. So who did you tick off to get stuck with this detail, Scully?

Scully: Actually, I'm looking forward to working with you. I've heard a lot about you.

Mulder: Oh, really... I was under the impression that you were sent to spy on me.

Mulder: Do you believe in the existence of extraterrestrials?

Scully: Logically I would have to say no. Given the distances need to travel from the of reaches of space the energy requirements would exceed a spacecraft's capabilities ...

Mulder: Conventional wisdom...

Mulder: ... in most of my work, the laws of physics rarely seems to apply.

Section Chief Blevins: Agent Mulder. What are his thoughts?

Scully: Agent Mulder believes we are not alone.

Deep Throat [1.1]

Scully: So?

Mulder: So you and I are going to the Spud State to investigate a little kidnapping.

Scully: I don't get it Mulder. Does this have something to do with an X-File? I thought you only liked those... uh... paranormal-type cases. Am I missing something here?

Mulder: Let's just say this case has a... distinct smell to it. A certain... paranormal bouquet.

Deep Throat: Leave this case alone, Agent Mulder.

Mulder: What?

Deep Throat: The military will not tolerate an FBI investigation.

Mulder: Who are you?

Deep Throat: I, er, can be of help to you. I've had a certain interest in your work.

Mulder: How do you know about my work?

Deep Throat: Well, let's just say that I'm in a position to know quite a lot of things, er, things about our government.

Mulder: Who are you? Who do you work for?

Deep Throat: It's unimportant, I came here to give you some valuable advice. You are exposing yourself and Agent Scully to unnecessary risk, I advise you to drop the case.

Mulder: I can't do that.

Deep Throat: You have much work to do, Agent Mulder, don't jeopardise the future of your own efforts.

MIB: [tapping on window] Please, step out of the car.

Mulder [to Scully]: You think if maybe we ignore him, he'll go away?

MIB: [tapping on window] Please, step out of the car.

Mulder [to Scully]: Guess not.

Deep Throat: Mister Mulder, why are those like yourself, who believe in the existence of extraterrestrial life on Earth, not entirely persuaded by all the evidence to the contrary?

Mulder: Because, all the evidence to the contrary is not entirely dissuasive.

Deep Throat: Precisely.

Mulder: They're here, aren't they?

Deep Throat: Agent Mulder, they've been here for a long, long time.

Squeeze [1.2]

Scully: This looks like an X-File.

Agent Colton: Let's not get carried away. I'm going to solve these murders, but what I would like from you is to go over the case histories, maybe come down to the crime scene.

Scully: Do you want me to ask Mulder?

Agent Colton: Okay, if he wants to come and do you a favour, great. But make sure he knows this is my case. Dana, if I can break a case like this one, I'll be getting my bump up the ladder. And you, maybe you won't have to be Mrs. Spooky any more.

Mulder: Why would I make them so uncomfortable?

Scully: It probably has to do with your reputation.

Mulder: Reputation? I have a reputation?

Scully: Mulder, look, Colton plays by the book and you don't. They feel your methods, your theories are...

Mulder: Spooky? Do you think I'm spooky?

Agent Colton: So Mulder, what do you think? Does this look like the work of little green men?

Mulder: Grey.

Agent Colton: Excuse me?

Mulder: Grey. You said green men. A Reticulan's skin tone is actually grey. They're notorious for their extraction of terrestrial human livers. Due to iron depletion in the Reticulan galaxy.

Agent Colton: You can't be serious.

Mulder: Do you have any idea what liver and onions go for on Reticula?

Scully: Mulder, they don't want you involved, they don't want to hear your theories. That's why Blevins has you hidden away down here.

Mulder: You're down here, too.

Scully: Oh my god, Mulder. It smells like... I think it's bile.

Mulder: Is there any way I can get it off my fingers quickly without betraying my cool exterior?

Scully: Is this what it takes to climb the ladder, Colton?

Agent Colton: All the way to the top.

Scully: Then I can't wait 'til you fall off and land on your ass.

Conduit [1.3]

Scully: I just think it's a good idea not to antagonise local law enforcement.

Mulder: Who, me? I'm Mr. Congeniality.

Scully: You never know, we might need his help one of these days.

Mulder: I'll send him a bundt cake.

Mulder: Hey, that's a nice tattoo, what is that?

Bartender: What's it look like?

Mulder: Flying saucer. You don't really believe in that stuff, do ya?

Bartender: I take it you don't.

Mulder: No, I think it's all just a bunch of crazy people howling at the moon.

Mulder: Great.

Scully: What?

Mulder: You shouldn't have told them. They have no jurisdiction.

Scully: Mulder... They're NSA. They think the boy may be a threat to national security.

Mulder: Come on. How could an eight year old boy, who can barely multiply, be a threat to national security? And people call me paranoid.

Mulder: I know I should be afraid, but I'm not.

Dr. Werber: Do you know why?

Mulder: Because of the voice... The voice in my head.

Dr. Werber: What's it telling you?

Mulder: Not to be afraid. It's telling me that no harm will come to her and that one day she'll return.

Dr. Werber: Do you believe the voice?

Mulder: I want to believe.

The Jersey Devil [1.4]

Scully: Mulder, it's the same story I've heard since I was a kid. It's a folk tale, a myth.

Mulder: I heard the same story when I was a kid too. Funny thing is I believed it. Fact is we've got a cannibalised body in New Jersey. Someone or something out there is hungry.

Ellen: What about that guy you work with?

Scully: Mulder?

Ellen: I thought you said he was cute.

Scully: He's a jerk. He's not a jerk. He's, um... he's obsessed with his work.

Mulder: What if it is a female, Scully? How close is she to you or me? Does she feel emotion? Or are her days just spent looking for food?

Scully: Maybe, she spends her day shopping.

Mulder: Eight million years out of Africa, I don't think we're all that different.

Scully: Mulder, we've put men into space, we've built computers that work faster than the human mind.

Mulder: While we over-populate the world and create new technologies to kill each other with. Maybe we're just beasts with big brains.

Mulder: Who was that on the phone?

Scully: A guy.

Mulder: A guy. Same guy as the guy you had dinner with the other night?

Scully: Same guy.

Mulder: You going to have dinner with him again?

Scully: I don't think so.

Mulder: No interest?

Scully: Not at this time.

Mulder: [walking to the door] What are you doing?

Scully: Going with you to the Smithsonian.

Mulder: Don't you have a life, Scully?

Scully: Keep it up, Mulder, and I'll hurt you like that beast woman.

Mulder: Eight million years out of Africa...

Scully: [holding door open for him] And look who's holding the door.

Eve [1.10]

Scully: Death by hypovolaemia. 75% blood loss. That's over 4 liters of blood.

Mulder: I'd say the man was running on empty.

Mulder: One girl was just abducted.

Scully: Kidnapped.

Mulder: Potato, potahto.

Scully: Mulder, you're rushing me out of the room.

Mulder: No, I'm not.

Scully: You've got a girl coming over?

Mulder: What's a girl? No, I have... there's a movie I want to watch on TV. Sleep tight. See you in the morning.

Eve 10: Hello, Eve 8.

Eve 9: We've been waiting ...

Eve 8: How did you know I'd come for you ?

Eve 10: We just knew.

Eve 9: We just knew.

The Erlenmeyer Flask [1.23]

Mulder: I don't believe you.

Deep Throat: There are limits to my knowledge, Mr. Mulder.

Season 2

One Breath [3.8]

Mulder: Get that gun out of my face!

X: This high-capacity compact Sig Sauer .40 caliber weapon is pointed at your head to stress my insistence that your search for who put your partner on that respirator desist immediately!

Mulder: You ignore my call for help and then you expect me to do what you say-- you go to hell!

X: You got him killed! You got her killed. That’s not going to happen to me. You’re my tool, you understand? I come to you when I need you.

Skinner: Agent Mulder, every life, everyday is in danger. That’s just life.

Season 3

War of the Coprophages [3.12]

Dr. Berenbaum: Well, it's my theory that UFOs are actually insect swarms. I don't know if you know anything about UFOs, but all the characteristics of a typical sighting are shared with nocturnal insects swarming through an electrical air field... the sudden appearance of a colored, glowing light hovering in the night sky, moving in a nonmechanical matter, possibly humming... creating interference with radio and television signals... then suddenly disappearing.

Mulder: As, uh... as nocturnal insect swarms. That's, uh... that's fascinating.

Mulder: Bambi also has this theory I've never come acro--

Scully: Who?

Mulder: Doctor Berenbaum. Anyway, her theory is--

Scully: Her name is Bambi?

Mulder: Yeah. Both her parents were naturalists. Her theory is that UFOs are actually nocturnal insect swarms passing through electrical air fields.

Scully: Her name is Bambi?

Mulder: Yeah, I had a praying mantis epiphany and, as a result, I screamed. No, not... not a girlie scream, but the scream of someone being confronted by some before unknown monster that had no right existing on the same planet I inhabited. Did you ever notice how a praying mantis' head resembles an alien's head? I mean, the mysteries of the natural world were revealed to me that day, but instead of being astounded, I was... repulsed.

Scully: Mulder... are you sure it wasn't a girlie scream?

Scully: [Watching Dr. Berenbaum and Ivanov walking away] Well, think of it this way, Mulder. By the time there's another invasion of artificially-intelligent, dung-eating robotic probes from outer space, maybe their uber-children will have devised a way to save our planet.

Mulder: You know, I never thought I'd say this to you, Scully... but you smell bad.

Syzygy [3.13]

Mulder: Let me drive.

Scully: I’m driving.

Mulder: Scully, it’s not what you think.

Scully: I didn’t see anything anyway.

Mulder: Will you let me drive!?

Scully: I’m driv-- why do you always have to drive? Because you’re the guy? Because you’re the big macho-man?

Mulder: No. I was just never sure your little feet could reach the pedals.

Mulder: Eh, Scully, if I’m not mistaken, we’re gonna be taking a left up here... eh, there’s an intersection up here, you’re gonna wanna... Scully! You’re gonna, wanna...! You just... ran a stop sign back there, Scully.

Scully: Shut up, Mulder.

Mulder: Sure, fine, whatever.

Grotesque [3.14]

Mulder: I wouldn't want to disappoint you by not disappointing you.

The Pusher [3.17]

Mulder (enters the hospital in body armour holding the gun): Federal agent. Go about your business as usual.

Wetwired [3.23]

Mulder: Don't lay this off on me, you sneaky son of a bitch, you pulled me into this situation because you didn't have the courage to reveal the truth yourself.

X: Feel better now?

Mulder: You're a coward! You work in the shadows, you feed me scraps of information, hoping that I can piece it together. You make me risk my life, you risk my partner's life and you never risk your own! [Mulder aims and cocks his gun at X] You're not walking away from this.

X: You're risking your life right now. You failed. This is your success? Killing me? The truth is... you need me, Agent Mulder.

Talitha Cumi [3.24]

[Mulder shoves Cigarette Smoking Man against a wall in a hospital and points a gun in his face]

Mulder: You wanna smoke that, or do you wanna smoke on this?

Cigarette Smoking Man: Are you giving me a choice?

Mulder: I should shoot you right here, but they probably would be able to save you.

Cigarette Smoking Man: Do it, do it Agent Mulder.

Mulder: Or maybe shoot a bullet through your brain so you'd be bedridden for the rest of your life.

Cigarette Smoking Man: How is she?

Mulder: What do you care?

Cigarette Smoking Man: I've known your mother since before you were born, Fox.

Season 4

Herrenvolk [4.1]

The Alien Bounty Hunter: Everything dies.

Musings of a Cigarette-Smoking Man [4.7]

The Cigarette-Smoking Man: Life... is like a box of chocolates. A cheap, thoughtless, perfunctory gift that nobody ever asks for. Unreturnable, because all you get back is another box of chocolates. You're stuck with this undefinable whipped-mint crap that you mindlessly wolf down when there's nothing else left to eat. Sure, once in a while, there's a peanut butter cup, or an English toffee. But they're gone too fast, the taste is fleeting. So you end up with nothing but broken bits, filled with hardened jelly and teeth-crunching nuts, and if you're desperate enough to eat those, all you've got left is a... is an empty box... filled with useless, brown paper wrappers.

Season 5

The Unusual Suspects [5.1]

Frohike: Me and the narc have a proposition for you.

Langly: What proposition?

Frohike: The coolest hack in the world.

Langly: [smiles] Say it. [Frohike hesitates] Say it...

Frohike: [grudgingly] ...Your kung fu is the best.

Bad Blood [5.12]

[Mulder and Scully are awaiting outside Skinner's office]

Scully: Mulder, please just keep reminding him you were drugged.

Mulder: Would you stop that?

Scully: It wouldn't hurt.

Mulder: Stop it.

[Skinner sticks his head out of his office]

Skinner: Scully, Mulder--

[Mulder jumps to his feet]

Mulder: I was drugged!

All Souls [5.17]

Mulder: What are you asking for, Father? Mercy or forgiveness? You know they say when you talk to God it’s prayer, but when God talks to you, it’s schizophrenia. What is your God telling you, Father?

Season 6

How the Ghosts Stole Christmas

[Mulder and Scully are searching a haunted house]

Scully: These are tricks that the mind plays. They are ingrained cliches from a thousand different horror films. When we hear a sound, we get a chill. We-we see a shadow and we allow ourselves to imagine something that an otherwise rational person would discount out of hand. The whole... the whole idea of a benevolent entity fits perfectly with what I'm saying. That a spirit would materialize or return for no other purpose than to show itself is silly and ridiculous. I mean, what it really shows is how silly and ridiculous we have become in believing such things. I mean, that... that we can ignore all natural laws about the corporeal body... that-that we witness these spirits clad in-in their own shabby outfits with the same old haircuts and hairstyles never aging, never... never in search of more comfortable surroundings-- it actually ends up saying more about the living than it does about the dead.

Mulder: Mm-hmm.

Scully: I mean, Mulder, it doesn't take an advanced degree in psychology to understand the... the unconscious yearnings that these imaginings satisfy. You know, the-the longing for immortality the hope that there is something beyond this mortal coil... that-that we might never be long without our loved ones. I mean, these are powerful, powerful desires. I mean, they're the very essence of what make us human. The very essence of Christmas, actually.

[A door slightly opens by itself]

Mulder: Tell me you're not afraid.

Scully: All right. I'm afraid.

The Unnatural

Arthur Dales: Trust the tale, Agent MacGyver not the teller. That which fascinates us is by definition true. Speaking metaphorically, of course.

Mulder: Okay, so was Ex a man who was metaphorically an alien or an alien who was metaphorically a man or a something in between that was literally an alien-human hybrid?

[Dales hands Mulder a pint of liquor]

Mulder: It's official. I am a horse's ass.

Taglines

At the end of the opening credits is the tagline: "The Truth Is Out There." However, for some episodes, that tagline is changed:

• Trust No One - "The Erlenmeyer Flask"
• Deny Everything - "Ascension"
• Éí 'AaníígÓÓ 'Áhoot'é - "Anasazi" ("The truth is far from here" in Navajo)
• Apology is Policy - "731"
• Everything Dies - "Herrenvolk"
• Deceive Inveigle Obfuscate - "Teliko"
• E pur si muove - "Terma" ("And still it moves" in Italian)
• Believe the Lie - "Gethsemane"
• All Lies Lead to the Truth - "Redux"
• Resist or Serve - "The Red and the Black"
• The End - "The End"
• Die Wahrheit ist irgendwo da draußen - "Triangle" ("The truth is out there somewhere" in German)
• In the Big Inning - "The Unnatural"
• Amor Fati - "Sixth Extinction II: Amor Fati" ("Love of fate" in Latin)
• Believe to Understand - "Closure"
• Nothing Important Happened Today - "Nothing Important Happened Today II"
• erehT tuO si hturT ehT - "4D"
• They're Watching - "Trust No One"
• Dio ti ama - "Improbable" ("God loves you" in Italian)

Major cast

• David Duchovny - Fox Mulder
• Gillian Anderson - Dana Scully
• Mitch Pileggi - Walter Skinner

External links

• The X-Files quotes at the Internet Movie Database
• The X-Files at TV Tome