Zach Galifianakis
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Zach Galifianakis (born October 1, 1969 in Wilkesboro, North Carolina) is a Greek-American comedian, actor, and writer.
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Attributed
- At what age do you tell a highway it was adopted?
- Now, I'm not an impressionist, but I do have this character voice I've been working on I call "The Guy Who's *WAY* Too Into the 'Garfield' Movie". (clears throat, begins to speak effeminately) Oh, my GOD! Have you seen the GARFIELD movie? It's HI-LARIOUS! There's this part where he eats all this LASAGNA! Of course, Odie's up to HIS old tricks! (normal voice) Like I said, just something I'm working on.
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At the piano
- Whenever my Asian roommate walks in the door, I play this. [plays a very stereotypical chinese tune] And she says "Zach, why do you do that every time I come in the room?" and I say "Because I don't have a gong."
- One time, I stuck an altoid in my butthole. [pause] That's it.
- How come girls can say "I'm going to go to brunch with my girlfriend." and no one assumes anything, but when i say "I'm going to buy fanny packs with my boyfriend people assume i'm a gay, thats right a GAY
- My New Year's resolution was to stop saying "You go girl" to myself.
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Written jokes while Zach is silent
- I look like a fat Jesus, Not Phat Jesus
- Hookers don't like to cuddle.
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External links
